Hey guys kinda losing my grip here. All about sin and trying to determine whether something I’m currently doing is sin or not. This problem has plagued me for over 2 years. I’ve gone to Pastors and leaders and they have generally said that the actual actions aren’t wrong but if I feel like they are wrong then I shouldn’t do it. But the problem is I don’t know for sure whether this issue is sin or not. Whether this anxiety I am feeling is my conscience or my ocd. What I have read is that the conscience brings up verses and stays specific to the sin. Which is what this feels like, but also there is so much uncertainty, doubt, and anxiety associated with it. I’ve also even tried not performing the “questionable” action for 5 months and this only made things a lot worse for me mentally, spiritually, and relationally. But I can’t shake this feeling that what I am doing is wrong and I am going to sear my conscience or I am pushing God away. I just needed to share this, could really use some support and guidance here. I would like to avoid reassurance as much as possible, but things were getting dark in my head so I really wanted to reach out to people that understand! The post was left vague on details on purpose to avoid confessing the thought. Thanks y’all

Let me see if I understand. You think you are going to sear your conscience by sinning. That was a problem for me and sometimes I get attacked by those thoughts and doubts. First of all God is not in fear. He is not making you afraid. The Bible actually says 365 to not be afraid. So you think God will tell you to not be afraid to later instill fear in you? Doesn't make sense, right? Second, because you have a sencible conscience you think about stuff like this. It's not bad or wrong having a conscience like that but right now it's basically in overdrive or over sensitive and that is causing some obsessions. You know what I have realized after a lot of years of torment and fear? That God Loves us unconditionally, which means He does even though we sin and are sinners. You know what else? God's Grace is more than enough for our condition, which guess what? We'll carry till the end. The apostle Paul three times said: Take away this from me. What was God answer? My Grace is all you need. You see? His Grace is all you and I need. But what's Grace? Grace is God loving you in the midst of your struggles, in your battles and even in the middle of your sins. Is God giving you room to fail and fall and learn. Grace is also the decision of God to Love you and not forsake you even when you messed up. Get this. You are a child of God because He has said so and not because you have earned it. By Grace. All I have said can be considered reassurance but it's true. Now you don't need to argue with your thoughts nor can you get rid of OCD with logic. So what you need is to be compassionate with yourself because God is giving you His Compassion. Let go of thoughts about deserving it or not. Go from the fact that He has already given it to you and the proof is the Cross. You don't need to pray harder or read the Bible more. You need to accept that God Loves you no matter what, right where you are and exactly like you are. Learn to starve the compulsion by resting in that. And I don't mean don't feel anxious but in the midst of your anxiety decide to accept that you are Love and nothing else. You are not pushing God away. And even if you have sinned He is not condemning or judging you for it. He's there when you think your behavior is "good" and when you think is not. He is ever present in your life. One more thing. The fact that you think you have seared your conscience is proof that you haven't. People who do that don't want anything to do with God. Use that as proof not as reassurance that you haven't done anything wrong. Being a Christian is not about not sinning is about learning about how much God Loves us by having a loving and honest relationship with Him by being honest with yourself about your fears, struggles and weaknesses. He knows everything about you and will forever no matter what Love you. God bless.

This definitely sounds like OCD. OCD will always make you feel like you have to find an answer NOW.

Thank you herdel! I appreciate that! Really solid theology there, and some sound doctrine I needed to hear today

If there is a God he wants you to be happy. Dont guilt yourself to death!