Miserable doesn’t begin to describe.

Ukrainians are getting tortured en-masse in Russia… Palestinians are dying every minute… I am far away from their suffering, yet I am crushed psychologically by the scenery. Working as a journalist, I’ve seen the images, videos… What is the point of living in this nightmare world? I see no good in people, all I see are parasites… It is as if someone drained away all my happiness… If there is a God I hope he is ashamed.

Nobody responded to my post I feel like the worst person ever I don’t want to eat or do nothing you have no idea how in pain I am right now I feel worse than a P or a r

I have no idea to what extent the new medication I am on is affecting me positively or negatively. The past two days and Monday have been awful. I feel close to walking around in a daze in the mornings. For whatever reason Tuesday was actually like a 3 on a 5 star scale whereas average had been below 2.5. I know the OCD is pissed off but it’s so bad and interfering with my life so much. It just hammers at me basically nonstop. I know I can watch YouTube and read books/comics and sometimes play with Legos but exercise, video games, consistency, feeling like I have a choice when I want to do these things is so difficult. I’m starting to lash out with anger at things and am going back down the path of self harm and suicidal thoughts. I just despise all of these thoughts like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.