Starting to get thoughts like what if nothing is real again :( also feeling like I’m floating

I’m constantly thinking about what if I go crazy.No matter how good I’m feeling the thought always creeps back in same with what if no one is real.I used to get anxiety from it but I don’t really get it anymore as much which scares me.How long did this last for anyone who experienced this?I feel like it’s been going on for months and I’m scared it’ll never go away.

I have been nervous about flying since I am going on a trip tomorrow and the thought of turbulence has unnerved me but I have been doing ok with that thought and slowly getting used to it. I have been looking at videos and articles explaining turbulence and what it is and why it happens and I have been feeling better about it. I go to bed and I am definitely tired. I am at that stage where I am falling asleep but still awake and all of a sudden I get a random anxiety hit feeling and a accompanying thought of "I wanna die!". I immediately wake up like I was just fighting for my life and I keep repeating the thoughts over and over wondering if that's what I want or something. I sort of calm down and try to sleep but now I am getting random thoughts from tv shows, music lyrics, and scenes from said shows playing in a random order. Feels like I am losing it and I can't focus. I am afraid I am having some psychosis or something which increases my anxiety. Any help or insight would be appreciated. I have had Suicidal OCD thoughts before but this one sort of hit different since I was partially asleep.

Is there something wrong with me if I’m not disgusted by my intrusive thoughts anymore like the disgust feeling has been gone for months now and why are my thoughts feel like they’re literally so close happening inside my brain why can I lowkey physically feel the images of that makes sense,Why do I get adrenaline why do I get a weird tingle my lips sometimes make an awkward like position when I get the thoughts it’s like I’m having a glitch idek which thought is intentional which one is intrusive but there bad thoughts and I don’t want them to be the truth about me but I literally cannot get myself to just feel relaxed even if they’re present like I actually get genuine headaches and feel uneasy for hours after having intrusive thoughts and I hate how it’s always the same kinda thoughts and sensations feelings etc around those thoughts out of nowhere when I’m just chilling they come in before when I had it is be like okay ew weird thought now I’m like what if I actually like this and I’m in denial uGHHH HATE MY BRAIN