I keep worrying that maybe I was never straight in the first place. Maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and I’m just scared of coming out and not being accepted!

I'm going through the exact same thing. I feel awful. I see people that have overcome this and I think: they went through it and they were straight after all. When I get through this, though, I'm going to realize I've been gay all along. This single thought terrifies me. My mind tells me I'm terrified because I just don't want to accept it, and I always fall into this spiral. I feel ashamed and hopeless. I've always wanted to be with guys exclusively, but my mind is distorting everything. I'm not sure about anything anymore. I just feel sad and empty, I'm not who I was before all this.

The first fear with these types of OCD is that we’re in denial. It sucks, it really does. We can all make it through this, though!

Yup, I’ve been in that spiral. From what I’ve learned, the only thing we can do is accept the fact that we’ll never be 100% certain, we can only live out our lives as best as we can. Eventually our brains will grow tired of the fear.

Take a look at this information: http://www.psychologyandbehavior.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation/

Is complicated. But if you keep having fear from the thoughts they will attack you even more. Choose to think: Wow, rude brain. That's absurd. And keep going. Just repeating acts that make you feel less anxiety witjout reassurance will help you

We are all the same, you are not alone, seriously. We feel the same shit in our heads too. I understand everything that you are saying and is so scary... But you can do it. And if you can't do it on your own you should get an ocd therapist to help you to get better. You'll get stronger from this.

Thank you so much!! This is the nicest community I've ever participated. No one deserves going through this, ocd is very humbling in a way that it makes us wiser and more sympathetic towards others, specially those who are in the same position. I wish you all the best, you sure deserve it!

Lavender make sure you read the article posted above. It’s a lot of information to cover but it sure explains a lot about OCD and the side effects of intrusive thoughts.

Aw I’m crying right now (in a good way)! All of you are so so lovely. I know things are hard right now, but they won’t be forever, for me AND for you. We can do this!

Wow I’m really feeling a lot of emotions right now ??, but at the moment I’m grateful to have such a kind community that truly understand ❤️

Thanks guys. But at this point, I’m even questioning reassurance. What if my head ISN’T making things up? I can hardly trust myself. It feels like I’ve never liked a guy before and never will again!

That’s so true. I guess it’s just kinda difficult to accept uncertainty. How did you do it? And thank you again by the way!

Mike1234, thank you for the article!

I just kinda said to myself every time an intrusive thought came that I have no idea if my fear is real and never will, and it’s only my actions that matter, not my thoughts. It seemed literally impossible at first, I remember thinking “this is crazy, there’s no way this will work, I can’t say there’s a possibility this is true” but it has worked. It just takes some time.

Okay! I'll do it now.