Two or three years ago I had this memory from when I was about 17. I was babysitting and one of the kids was asleep on my lap, I’d say she was 3 at the time. I squeezed my thighs together a times because I liked the way it felt (had absolutely nothing to do with the child) and then stopped because obviously it just felt weird that she was asleep on me. I remembered this a couple of years later and was so upset and told my boyfriend at the time and he said I did nothing wrong and I forgot about it. Years later something triggered the memory and I’m back to feeling absolutely horrible, this has been on my mind for the past 2/3 years. I’ve talked to my boyfriend and two close friends about it and they just think I’m being ridiculous but it doesn’t matter I still feel like a pedo and I don’t deserve anything in life. I’m afraid to talk to a therapist about it incase they take it up wrong. It had absolutely nothing to do with the child but the fact the child was there and asleep on me makes me feel disgusting and horrible. Anyone else have similar stories ?

18+ TW! Involves sexual content I have learning disabilities which means im always going to be 3-5 years mentally behind from my actual age… when I was 14 I remember finding people saying they work with kids “attractive” and I remember mastu*** over a kid around 5+ but when I was 14 I was either mentally age 11 or 9. So I didn’t know it was wrong, and as soon as I realised I stopped. People say I was young and it’s okay but I remember finding people saying they even walked past a nursery “attractive” but I don’t know if this is even the right word. Maybe cute? Because I find different emotions hard to tell the difference between, so maybe it’s cute rather than attractive. I never ever had intentions to do anything to younger individuals, it was just me finding people saying they worked with them etc attractive… which my ocd now plays on, because my friend mentioned they were working with kids but idk if it was the real me or not but I genuinely felt like I found it attractive and it was giving my so many groinal responses which then made me feel genuinely aroused like I wanted to do things. This plays on my mind because my ocd will always say “but you did/do find stuff like this attractive” but this literally stops me from eating, sleeping or anything. I can’t break from my compultions because what if I do genuinely find it attractive. I don’t think it’s even attractive maybe it’s cute? Like I find it cute… but cuteness can give people feelings down there I guess. I think because if my learning disabilities I found it hard to know the difference between “attraction” and cute so I did stuff over it because it gave me that feeling down there but that could of been cuteness feeling. I just need some support on this.

18+ so, i just had this memory pop back into my head after suppressing it and now I’m obsessing over it and cant suppress it, it feels so weird that i dont think i can even tell my therapist. so a few years ago, i was high, and laying in bed and my dog was laying in front of my face back to me and i kissed his back like mimicking making out, and dont get me wrong this is not a zocd concern it was not attraction im not worried that i touched him sexually im just really weirded out by that memory like someone gauge how weird and immoral that is for me and like i was not a kid, i was an adult its freaking me out like??? tf i do not know how i manage to suppress shit like this like i didnt think it was weird when i was high and i think i remember waking up spiraling about it and then decided to shut it down bcs i had what felt like bigger ocd shit fish to fry and it just popped back up and im spiraling

TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help