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- 3y
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- 3y
Have you told him how you’re feeling and what’s going on?
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- 3y
Yes but not everything
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- 3y
@——- Well, why not everything? If you don’t mind my asking and saying. Your boyfriend should understand that you are struggling at the moment and do his best to help and comfort you. He might not fully understand, since it’s ocd, but I’m sure he’d try his best to. From what I hear I’m not supposed to reassure you, so I don’t know if I’m not doing that correctly? But maybe try that erp where you write down the worse possible scenario that could happen between the two of you (breaking up or even the opposite scene of marriage)? Maybe see how you feel from that?
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- 3y
@Dia Rancid Because I heard I shouldn’t tell him it’s a compulsion. I asked him to look at videos and read things about rocd to see a little bit of my world. He is very supportive but it got to the point where it doesn’t help since I feel nothing
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- 3y
@——- Where did you hear not to tell him it was a compulsion?
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- 3y
@——- It can turn into a compulsion, absolutely! ERP. You have to go against anything ROCD is telling you. I promise sharing your thoughts with the person you’re having them about will only cause harm. 😕 I would be devastated if my husband told me he was having doubts. I totally would understand my husband being hurt if I shared what I was suffering with. You can tell him you’re struggling! Just don’t share specific thoughts. I have been suffering with ROCD for 5 months. I’m in a much better spot than I was 5 months ago! It takes so much work but it is worth it!
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- 3y
@Jeanie12 It can totally be a compulsion, and it’s a common one for rOCD
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- 3y
@Dia Rancid On rocd pages like professional ppl who’ve been through it themselves
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- 3y
@Jeanie12 Thank you! So what did you do to help?
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- 3y
@——- I got a NOCD therapist first, and got on medication at the same time. My ROCD hit only a month before my wedding and I was absolutely not functioning. I couldn’t even look at my now husband without intense urges to tell him I didn’t love him anymore and I wanted to call off the wedding. The worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I hunkered down and hit my ocd with intense ERP. I stopped avoiding wedding talk and let myself be anxious and things DID start to get better! Do you have a therapist trained in ERP that you can confide in? Im not back to 100% and now I’m obsessing over the idea of having children which is a whole other battle because I’ve always wanted them but my brain is trying to convince me I don’t anymore. I have the tools to fight it though…I found a lot of sneaky compulsions I was doing also and had to knock those off. One specific one was researching OCD. I already knew what to do but I started following a TON of social media pages on ROCD because their post made me feel better.
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- 3y
@Jeanie12 Sounds like me. Ocd is so convincing that I don’t even know what I want anymore
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- 3y
@——- I know. It’s seriously hell. You know what you wanted before OCD was triggered. Love by your values. I knew I wanted kids with my now husband before this subtype was triggered so regardless of my “feelings” im still married him and im still trying to start a family with him. If no abuse is involved, it’s worth it to live by your values. I understand it’s easier said than done
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- 3y
@Jeanie12 :((( I hope my therapist is good
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- 3y
@——- If you don’t feel comfortable with them, you can always get someone else! Just know things may get worse before they get better! That’s common. Just make sure the specialist in OCD therapy (ERP) nothing else will help you. That’s the only treatment proven to work
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- 3y
@Jeanie12 Easier said then done. We have a whole child.
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- 3y
@——- No, no, no! I’m talking about getting a new therapist!! I wouldn’t ever suggest being with someone else especially if you’re suffering from ROCD!
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- 3y
@Jeanie12 Oh ok thank you😭❤️
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- 3y
@——- Absolutely! Leaving would be the biggest mistake. As long as there’s no logical reason to leave, (abuse for example) fight for it! Leaving would be the ultimate compulsion and OCD would just show up in your next relationship. Might as well fight it with the one your with!
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- 3y
I can’t even trust myself. This isn’t fair to me bf should I let him go
Related posts
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- 22w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
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- 14w
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
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- 12w
me and my girlfriend since we started dating we be only had one problem, and that is my fear of everything of losing her of her cheating, and it’s all caused by OCD. my texts are massive and i get worried i know i love her and she makes me calm i know i love her. we had a conversation yesterday and basically she said that she feels suffocated with my texts and my fears. she went on trip were she doesn’t have her phone. and yesterday i spent the entire day crying about her. my head is filled with intrusive thoughts. and last night i got so stressed that it seemed like the love went away or i couldn’t remember the love, but it’s impossible because i was crying about her yesterday. this struggle my relationship is having is making me so stressed. pls give me advice
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