- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you told him how you’re feeling and what’s going on?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes but not everything
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- Well, why not everything? If you don’t mind my asking and saying. Your boyfriend should understand that you are struggling at the moment and do his best to help and comfort you. He might not fully understand, since it’s ocd, but I’m sure he’d try his best to. From what I hear I’m not supposed to reassure you, so I don’t know if I’m not doing that correctly? But maybe try that erp where you write down the worse possible scenario that could happen between the two of you (breaking up or even the opposite scene of marriage)? Maybe see how you feel from that?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dia Rancid Because I heard I shouldn’t tell him it’s a compulsion. I asked him to look at videos and read things about rocd to see a little bit of my world. He is very supportive but it got to the point where it doesn’t help since I feel nothing
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- Where did you hear not to tell him it was a compulsion?
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- It can turn into a compulsion, absolutely! ERP. You have to go against anything ROCD is telling you. I promise sharing your thoughts with the person you’re having them about will only cause harm. 😕 I would be devastated if my husband told me he was having doubts. I totally would understand my husband being hurt if I shared what I was suffering with. You can tell him you’re struggling! Just don’t share specific thoughts. I have been suffering with ROCD for 5 months. I’m in a much better spot than I was 5 months ago! It takes so much work but it is worth it!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 It can totally be a compulsion, and it’s a common one for rOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dia Rancid On rocd pages like professional ppl who’ve been through it themselves
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 Thank you! So what did you do to help?
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- I got a NOCD therapist first, and got on medication at the same time. My ROCD hit only a month before my wedding and I was absolutely not functioning. I couldn’t even look at my now husband without intense urges to tell him I didn’t love him anymore and I wanted to call off the wedding. The worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I hunkered down and hit my ocd with intense ERP. I stopped avoiding wedding talk and let myself be anxious and things DID start to get better! Do you have a therapist trained in ERP that you can confide in? Im not back to 100% and now I’m obsessing over the idea of having children which is a whole other battle because I’ve always wanted them but my brain is trying to convince me I don’t anymore. I have the tools to fight it though…I found a lot of sneaky compulsions I was doing also and had to knock those off. One specific one was researching OCD. I already knew what to do but I started following a TON of social media pages on ROCD because their post made me feel better.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 Sounds like me. Ocd is so convincing that I don’t even know what I want anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- I know. It’s seriously hell. You know what you wanted before OCD was triggered. Love by your values. I knew I wanted kids with my now husband before this subtype was triggered so regardless of my “feelings” im still married him and im still trying to start a family with him. If no abuse is involved, it’s worth it to live by your values. I understand it’s easier said than done
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 :((( I hope my therapist is good
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- If you don’t feel comfortable with them, you can always get someone else! Just know things may get worse before they get better! That’s common. Just make sure the specialist in OCD therapy (ERP) nothing else will help you. That’s the only treatment proven to work
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 Easier said then done. We have a whole child.
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- No, no, no! I’m talking about getting a new therapist!! I wouldn’t ever suggest being with someone else especially if you’re suffering from ROCD!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 Oh ok thank you😭❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@——- Absolutely! Leaving would be the biggest mistake. As long as there’s no logical reason to leave, (abuse for example) fight for it! Leaving would be the ultimate compulsion and OCD would just show up in your next relationship. Might as well fight it with the one your with!
- Date posted
- 3y
I can’t even trust myself. This isn’t fair to me bf should I let him go
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 6w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
- Date posted
- 6w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond