I was actually able to make love to my partner last night. But before that I took a shower I was having anxiety hearing you don’t love him or you won’t enjoy it… When I came back up before we started I was freaking out mentally hearing let’s get this over with… I felt this uncomfortable feeling.. 😞 when I was in the shower I was crying randomly… scared… But afterwards I was able to enjoy it but after awhile I began to obsess about it I enjoyed it enough or questioned my love for him…. Right now I really don’t feel love or care at all…. But I have anxiety scaring me without the crying… I just feel completely off….

Making love with a partner can be a big ERP exercise for us rocd! It can be quite a trigger, but I'm glad you went through it. I have a similar experience, but I ended crying during the act lol. It took me weeks before being able to do it again, and it was very scary for me. Just like any trigger for intrusive thoughts it's good to dive directly in it! You should talk to your partner about going through it very slowly to ease yourself back in the making love game! Good luck!!

Oh yeah. He is trying to approach it gently. I was the one who started it actually which I told him which is probably better for me anyways bc if I start it then it won’t be so bad but I am happy I was still able to do that with him either way