UGH I really need help accepting my past and what sexually arouses me. Since I can remember I was sexually aroused by naked women as my dad used to have pics of them in his man cave, which has led to arousal of lesbian sex, lesbian porn, and lesbian sex fantasies. This was primarily the only thing I ever used to masturbate to (TMI SORRY). This makes my body respond super easily whenever I see it on tv and such, and in tv shows or movies they always relate being gay to them getting off to same sex and same sex porn. This has always made me very insecure about sexuality and myself because I thought only lesbians watch and like it (I know this is untrue) so I didn’t want anyone to think I was one as well. This obviously makes my hocd/soocd run wild with proof/evidence but I’m trying to work towards acceptance of it. Has anyone else done acceptance work and if so how? I’m terrible with it and too judgmental towards myself which brings shame. I have done tons of erp and it has worked tremendously but this is what can really get me back to feeling not the best at times.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Legallyocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I can relate girl. I have this persistent thought comparing oral sex with a man and a woman. I eventually always agree that I like men more but then another idea pops up and I’m back to figuring it out in a circle. Also when I touch my boyfriend there I get this feeling like I want his privates to be a girl’s privates. It could be because I’m used to touching my own and it could be something else. ThAt thought also keeps me stuck in the rumination circle. I know how frustrating it can be and I hear you. But we all we can do is really feel what ever feeling comes our way

Corie

Date posted: 3y

True! I’m trying my hardest to sit with the discomfort, in one of those it feels like too real and I know and am okay with it but am denying it. Just trying to sit and not argue it away!

Legallyocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Corie You’re absolutely right. How long have you been dealing with this theme?

Corie

Date posted: 3y

@Legallyocd Since 2018 and this is my only theme primarily. Rocd doesn’t cause nearly as much anxiety and correlates with the hocd!

Corie

Date posted: 3y

@Legallyocd I’ve gotten wayyy better since I did treatment twice, but I know recovery isn’t linear and I will still have funks here and there!

Legallyocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Corie Omg girl !!! I know same here. It so incredibly difficult to get over this theme. I’m almost at my wits end. For the new year my resolution is to progress or just accept that I’m a lesbian. I don’t know what else to do but I’m tired of suffering.

Corie

Date posted: 3y

@Legallyocd Mine is to get back on track with my response prevention! Not give into the thoughts and figure anything out or disprove anything!

Legallyocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Corie I wish you the best !

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond