- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate girl. I have this persistent thought comparing oral sex with a man and a woman. I eventually always agree that I like men more but then another idea pops up and I’m back to figuring it out in a circle. Also when I touch my boyfriend there I get this feeling like I want his privates to be a girl’s privates. It could be because I’m used to touching my own and it could be something else. ThAt thought also keeps me stuck in the rumination circle. I know how frustrating it can be and I hear you. But we all we can do is really feel what ever feeling comes our way
- Date posted
- 3y
True! I’m trying my hardest to sit with the discomfort, in one of those it feels like too real and I know and am okay with it but am denying it. Just trying to sit and not argue it away!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Corie You’re absolutely right. How long have you been dealing with this theme?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Legallyocd Since 2018 and this is my only theme primarily. Rocd doesn’t cause nearly as much anxiety and correlates with the hocd!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Legallyocd I’ve gotten wayyy better since I did treatment twice, but I know recovery isn’t linear and I will still have funks here and there!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Corie Omg girl !!! I know same here. It so incredibly difficult to get over this theme. I’m almost at my wits end. For the new year my resolution is to progress or just accept that I’m a lesbian. I don’t know what else to do but I’m tired of suffering.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Legallyocd Mine is to get back on track with my response prevention! Not give into the thoughts and figure anything out or disprove anything!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Corie I wish you the best !
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!
- Date posted
- 18w
I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.
- Date posted
- 27d
Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help
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