It feels so logical and real that I’m just in denial and haven’t got ocd. There’s too many signs. I feel hopeless.

Is ocd supposed to feel like a genuine belief ? I see or hear some people saying things like « I know it’s not true but …. » while I personally don’t « know that it’s not true » I feels genuinely real and I even find evidence for it

Would it be logical to think “if I never worried about this before, it must be OCD”? I am trying to not reassurance seek, but when I can approach things logically, it really helps me. I have been dealing with varying themes since July and I try to be pragmatic about things. I’d like to stop things in their tracks if I can.

I’m sobbing right now. I’m convinced that I’ve been in denial all along and that it’s all real. It has to be now. I don’t wanna be a boy but I feel like there’s no way I’m not one if I’m doing these things. There’s no way I’m a cis girl if I’m doing these things. I’m so fucking done with life I feel absolutely trapped. I don’t wanna be a man but fuuuuuuuuck I think it’s real now I’m so fcking done with living. I really feel like I’ve been using OCD as an excuse/a cover up and I’m scared it’s all a facade. There’s no way it’s not real now I’m literally so fcking scared I want it all to stop. If anyone has advice please send some my way. I need it badly