Alright. My last ocd spiral that was I think possibly the worst was when the guy I considered the love of my life and I stopped talking because he was unhappy and im pretty sure my ocd was getting worse. When we would fight i would obsess and when we weren’t we were spending so much time together. I was jealous and insecure. So we stopped talking and he said that however many years from now if one of us felt ready to talk we would hit the person up. I was really bad i didn’t want him to go and would message him on all the blocked accounts because i missed him so much and would think of him constantly. Ir was a rocky road and have only now been able to talk about us. We were basically sexually involved but with feelings? It was all online though. Typing this is extremely hard. Anyway our last actual conversation was in 2020 he has added me back on Snapchat and idk what to do. I finally feel stable and healthy im back in school, i put back all the weight i lost, there are still things that i have to work on but im finally ok again. I honestly am unsure if i should accept and add maybe talk? Idk if he did it on purpose or what? Idk how long ago he sent the request but im thinking to myself and am like no you’re not ready? But im like will I ever be ready? Am i saying this because he left me and i want to make him wait? Because i miss talking to him but i think my head isn’t in thw right space. Im pretty sure he said he would only message when he wasn’t into me anymore. Idk if i will ever not be into him? But one of the best years of my life was when i was talking to him even with all the ups and downs. When i got the request i was shaking. What should i do? I do enjoy his talks. At one point i was sure we would never talk and had gotten comfortable with the idea.

I also dont want him to take back the request. But i was so unhealthy obsessed with loving him that when he left the worst bout of ocd ever took control.. help

I think your not ready for it yet, I am sure some of your best moments were when u were talking to him. I know the feeling of enjoying company with someone and at the same time realizing that it might be best if you don't reconnect but still want to. While I'm not sure in general if it's a good thing I do believe at one point u will be able to talk to him again.

at this moment I don't think so I don't want you to think your not ready cause your ocd is making you a failure of a person you aren't that at all. I just feel your too stressed out in general about him in order to reconnect soon. I think it is time for you to think about it. Id say in things change in a few months it would be possible to talk to him again. Otherwise as it is now I'd suggest you wait for your own good. It doesn't matter if your ready or not if you don't feel ready and if that's not the case you aren't and that's okay. I'm sure you will feel that way eventually alright, take care and stay strong friend :)

I think you’re right. Looking over our messages its pretty clear that we weren’t healthy and despite all that ive been thinking about him non stop since he added me. I added him back and said hi but he hasnt replied which idk Snapchat might be malfunctioning it said he opened a message before i even sent anything but he hasn’t responded which has left me in an even bigger pit of confusion. If this is our inital interaction once talking again I dont think its healthy. My feiend said he was trying to put his foot in the door so I wouldn’t forget him and if thats the case its working. I feel like checking his socials. Or sending a follow up message but am refraining. Its confusing itd be nice if things were simpler. Im just fighting the urge to do nothing.

Something*. Instead im not going to react

If he texts back Im not saying you have tom completly ignore him but if not I'd refrain from it until your in a healthy situation. Your a good person and I hope your able to talk again and reconnect with people from before but if it's not a good time it's not a good time. I hope everything else is going well and that your streaming comes along great! Good luck and God bless mate :) ♥️