- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello friend! Reminder to take a deeeeeeeep breath. I have been where you are, and it’s freaking terrifying. You can make it through this moment.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m just afraid I’m toxic that I bring the worst out in us . I think what if I’m just dependeant on him to be happy , but I also overthink when he’s around but I feel so mcuh better when he’s around he makes me feel whole and happy then when he leaves to go home I feel so in my head because I’m just sitting in my bed thinking and in loops
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 You are not toxic. You do have OCD, which can make you overthink, overanalyze, overreact.. it’s the worst! What was helpful for me when I was in a low place was learning about ROCD from the Awaken Into Love YouTube channel. Your OCD thoughts and fears are so common (I had exactly the same ones). You can get through this.
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 I overthink when he’s away but then I calm down but then I overthink even more when he’s around I don’t wanna believe he’s my trigger I’m just freaking out what if he is and we have to break up
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 But then I think I’m my own trigger if I put in my head he’s my trigger then I’ll believe that . But at times he calms me down and reassured me and it makes me feel better I just hate to overthink when he’s around “do I love him really “ “do I not “ but I don’t want him to be a trigger I’ll be so hurt and worried and I don’t wanna have to break up with him because he’s “mg trigger “
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 How would I even know if he’s my “trigger “ but I don’t wanna think it believe he is .. that would kill my soul and heart
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 He may be your trigger, but that is only because your OCD is focused on him because you care about him. I’d bet that you don’t want to leave him, but you do want your anxiety to let up. Been there! We can’t run away from anxiety, we have to face it (which is what ERP is for).
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 He just can’t be my trigger because would that mean I would only be triggered when I’m with him and I overthink and analyze when he’s gone . I don’t want him to be the trigger I don’t wanna leave him I just feel like I’m gonna spite again because hearing that scares me to think he’s the trigger to all my overthinking hurts so much
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 It kills my soul to even think he’s the trigger or problem . I don’t wanna leave him . He told me we can get through this togeteht . He said if he was my trigger I’d only be triggered with him but I fele it with and without him . He just can’t be the problem my therapist said if he’s my trigger it’s best to let him go to be better and I can’t I can’t do that . I cannot let him go it’s been a year and I just can’t let him go . I love him and I care so much .
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 It’s just can’t be because of him they would hurt me so much because that means I’d have to leave and I’d only feel better without him but I don’t wanna lose him or what we have . It hurts to think about I’m crying about thinking about he’s my “trigger”
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Let me speak from my own experience: I have the most wonderful fiancé, but when we bought a house earlier this year I developed severe ROCD. I was so scared all the time and desperate to understand why. I thought I didn’t feel the right way or that he was somehow not enough for me…even though I was happy and did not want to leave!! Seeing him and being with him WAS a trigger, bc he is what I care about and losing him is what I fear. Just because my OCD latched on to him didn’t make him bad, or our relationship bad. It simply meant my brain was afraid (for whatever reason) and it focused on him.
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 It sucks because I didn’t want to believe it was him who triggered me because it makes me feel like I have to leave . It makes me feel the only way I’ll be okay is because I’ll leave him and not have these thoughts . But I don’t want to . He promised me we could be better and we could work on it togeteht and not to give up . He said it would hurt him a lot if it’s was him because he thinks I’ll leave as well
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t wanna be dependent on him emotionally and make it a bad relationship all I want is a good relationship I want a happy and healthy and he said we can work on it doenst give it he said please don’t leave him it will only make me sadder which it will because it has before we broke up before but he gave me time to work on myself and here I am in a loop hole
- Date posted
- 3y
Hold on. Being dependent on each other emotionally doesn’t make a relationship bad. Now when if it’s to the point where you can’t mentally or physically function without him around then yeah that’s bad. But a healthy relationship does include two people leaning into each other for support and that includes emotionally too. There’s nothing wrong with that
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I can function without him I just feel sadder or notice I’m in my head more when I’m not without him
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 But that’s not bad I just is human. As long as you can function then yeah you’re fine of course when you’re with someone and you really love them you gonna be a little more sad or a little less vibrant when they’re not around but that doesn’t mean it’s an unhealthy relationship
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 ** it’s just human
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I have break downs when he leaves soemtimes I tend to not overthink as much when he’s around but I also think the reason I have break downs when I’m alone is because I’m not doing something or distracted by him and I’m just in my head and just constantly overwhelmed by the rocd thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 What do u mean not functional without hem
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 Huh? I said as long as you can function then yeah you’re fine
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I’m saying what do u mean when it means to not be functional without them
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 Oh uh. Well if you can’t function without them, as in practically bed bound, then the natural codependence of a healthy relationship has morphed into unhealthy dependence and you should probably talk to a shrink
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I know he’s not cheating on me. He’d never do that and, as hard as I try to tell myself “he’s proven already that he’s not” and show myself all the signs of commitment and dedication, I still have that fear. It’s eating at me and ruining my relationship. How do you guys get over this? If my brain were true he’d have been cheating on me for months in ways that aren’t even possible. It doesn’t make sense if I think about it logically but it seems like when I do, I create in my head more ways for it to be logically true. What is your advice? How can I stop self sabotaging?
- Date posted
- 18w
Tmi warning I was being intimate with my bf and I kept getting the name of someone else pop up, but I didn’t feel anxious. Afterwards, as much as I tried to delay confessing, I couldn’t help it. I confessed. My bf was fine he said I probably didn’t feel anxious because I’ve gotten used to the anxiety and it’s okay, it doesn’t define me any more than it would if I was anxious. A few minutes later, he got upset and said that the confession kinda ruined a blissful moment. I’m so upset that my head feels so turbulent I didn’t even notice it was a blissful moment for him and could’ve been for me. I feel so awful. I haven’t slept in a day, I can’t stop crying. My bf is afraid that because this specific name keeps popping up, it might mean something and he feels less than sometimes because of it. I know I shouldn’t have confessed but I felt so safe that it was like a dam broke loose. I feel so awful. What’s worse is that I’m still scared it means something, I’m scared that my boyfriend’s fear is right. He’s very understanding of OCD and how it manifests in me and everything, I think I just kinda messed up a sacred moment and I feel so much guilt and confusion and just horrendous. I’m not even fully anxious. I don’t know what to do. I apologized a lot but I feel like I don’t deserve him and so selfish
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- Date posted
- 12w
me and my girlfriend since we started dating we be only had one problem, and that is my fear of everything of losing her of her cheating, and it’s all caused by OCD. my texts are massive and i get worried i know i love her and she makes me calm i know i love her. we had a conversation yesterday and basically she said that she feels suffocated with my texts and my fears. she went on trip were she doesn’t have her phone. and yesterday i spent the entire day crying about her. my head is filled with intrusive thoughts. and last night i got so stressed that it seemed like the love went away or i couldn’t remember the love, but it’s impossible because i was crying about her yesterday. this struggle my relationship is having is making me so stressed. pls give me advice
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