Two days ago we were on our way to a museum walking on a stairway when I saw a girl wearing leggings walking in front of me, and idk why but | involuntarily (I hope it was) glanced at her butt. I initially thought she was a girl about my age or older but it turned out to be much younger. I found myself looking at her a few times hoping that she wasn't a c and that I just had mistaken her, but I ultimately realised that she was a c and that I had looked at a c btt. What if this is a proof that I'm a p? If this was OCD I'd have just ignored it after the first time I realised that she was a c**, but no, I glanced at her repeatedly.

POCD

FocussedOnRe...

Date posted: 3y

I clicked SHARE too early… continuing on: -now, you fall into a classic Pure-O compulsion: CHECKING You check to see if there’s evidence for or against the Intrusive Thought, “Am I a pedophile?”. Again, this is abnormal behavior—it is OCD. -finally, you misinterpret the Pure-O Compulsion “checking” as a sign that you wanted to look at the child and that you just couldn’t stop, and that therefore, you must be a pedophile. Again, this is abnormal behavior, and is caused by OCD. A pedophile, unlike you, would be driven by desire. A POCD suffering person is driven by fear. A few things to consider: -sometimes teenagers look like adults -actors playing teenagers are very often adults -teenagers can be attractive even when you know they are teenagers. It’s completely fucked up to seek them as romantic partners, but you don’t have to pretend that they have no ability to be attractive. Some 25 year olds look like they’re 15; some 15 year olds look like they’re 25. The difference? Their experience, self-knowledge, and perhaps most important, brain development—their lacking in these areas is why it is totally immoral to date or be sexually involved with minors. It’s less about their looks, and more about their soul. Therefore, getting confused about someone on the edge of adulthood is not a problem. You get confused, then things are clarified, then you move on.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I was so ashamed, your explanation makes perfect sense. I'll try to leave this behind. I'm 16 by the way

FocussedOnRe...

Date posted: 3y

@Nameless000 16! What an age. Everything is exciting and confusing. Or at least it was for me. When I was your age there was a girl just one year younger than me. She was beautiful, smart, talented, and remarkably, she had a crush on me. But my anxiety prevented me from pursuing the relationship, because she looked so young—at 16 she still looked about 12—and I was terrified of appearing to be or somehow becoming a pedophile. Of course, I see now that a 16 year old wanting to date a 15 year old is completely normal regardless of how they look. And man, she was truly a great person. I missed the opportunity to know her better. She was also beautiful and a lot of fun—and I missed out on a lot of fun in my teens and 20s because I overthought everything (ev-ry-thing) Try not to let your OCD steal your fun.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Thank you for sharing your story with me, I'll try to keep in mind what you said :)

FocussedOnRe...

Date posted: 3y

I don’t know how old you are, but since you say you thought at first that she was about your age, I’m guessing you’re under 30. I think your brain registered a “hot girl”, so you admired her body, then realized she was a child, and then got scared of what this means/says about you, and then, you kept looking to gauge if it was OCD or if there was atraction. So, if you went wrong—where did you go wrong? -noticing a “hot girl”? No problem there. -checked out “hot girl’s” ass. Again, no problem; normal, human behavior. -realized that the person in question is actually be a child. Again, normal, human behavior—you were simply assessing whether this person is a potential mate, and because you know and believe that a child is not a candidate for that, you immediately drop the idea -because you looked at the butt, you worry that you are a pedophile. This is abnormal human behavior—it is OCD. This is the beginning of the OCD cylce—this is the IntrusiveThought. - A few things to consider: -

Idontknow

Date posted: 18w

Help please

How is this OCD? Who with Pocd thinks about a naked child ???? I was over here thinking if I’m actually attracted to kids because I find some of them good looking you know and my little cousin I have thoughts about her too and I was thinking about her naked but I wasn’t aroused or nothing so that’s where I’m confused It was intentional so does that make me a p*do?

RadiantlyRed...

Date posted: 16w

POCD 😭

TW Just saw a judge video where a girl was complaining about a mom suing her for money when her mom is her agent and gives her younger sister (at 17 years old) better work because they exploit her body and THEY SHOWED PICTURES. I saw it and was like “oh my gosh is that actually what I think it is?” Then after realizing it’s like I was too shocked to look away. What is bothersome is that I wasn’t immediately repulsed enough to turn it off and didn’t immediately do so and when the picture kept showing up it’s like I kept looking at it to make sure what I saw was actually what I saw. Also, the false memory is hitting hard because now I’m wondering if I had intrusive thoughts judging her body. Now I feel like a perv and pedo 😭 It’s like I’m anxious over not being anxious enough about the situation while actually being incredibly anxious. I don’t if that made ANY sense but someone please help. I will say my mind was already incredibly vulnerable because of burnout and other very stressful events recently. Still, I feel terrible and feel I deserve to be in jail.

Em2003

Date posted: 14w

Pls input, I haven’t panicked this hard in months

My whole life I’ve kind of stared at people’s crotches whenever they’re wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like I’ve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because it’s so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I don’t know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I’m scared that I’m doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didn’t think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. I’m questioning whether it’s okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people don’t analyze their behavior, I don’t know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I really need someone’s input or perspective. Please.

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