Anyone else that also has OCD exactly targeted at what you love the most? Like your innermost values, your favorite interests, the things you look forward to the most in life. Like I’ve pulled myself away from all the good in my life because that’s what the OCD latches onto. Like I used to love reading about psychology, now psychology is a freaking nightmare to my OCD, I used to be so happy, optimistic and cheerful and reflected a lot on all of life’s wonders but now I have intrusive suicidal thoughts and scary, existential/philosophical OCD making me avoid deep thoughts/subjects altogether. I used to be such a romantic and chased all the love expeiences I could have, now I push every damn guy away because my skin crawls at te thought of love and connections. I used to be very emotionally open and all, and now I scream at any feeling and try to suppress it. I used to be a social butterfly and now I can barely talk to people anymore. I used to be so excited to grow up to become a mom, a wife and work with people who need my help but now those are the most scary things I’ve ever heard of. I used to have such a strong self esteem and could be really cool and confident, and now I feel weak as hell and very insecure (and doubtful, duh, OCD) I used to pride myself in being a wonderful person with empathy and kindness, and now I always worry I’m a narcissist. I used to be very in tune with myself, knew myself very well and was always very grounded but now I’m depersonalized and whatever identity was there before certainly isn’t here right now. You feel me? And even more ironic is it that I’m beyond terrified of being depressed and committing suicide, but all in all having the joy quite literally stolen from your life is rather fucking draining and depressing.

I feel that what you say resonates with many Anna. Certainly elements there which I can relate to. You're not alone. We're all here for you and we're listening. How was your day today? Did you manage okay?

Don't worry. You're welcome here, understanding that you're thoughts absolutely do not reflect who you are as a person is crucial. Those first couple of days you described, I completely understand that. I've been to hell and back with this. Don't mind telling everyone here about what you're going through. We're all here to listen and help. You're right, OCD is a giant nightmare and it can feel like you'll never feel 'right' again. Take it from someone who knows, you can and you will. You need time. I'm delighted that you had a good day with your friend despite the other things. Focus on the good. Are you receiving any treatment currently?

Read my post on tips for looking after yourself, take one day at a time. Give yourself time and patience. You will be okay.

I have pure o. I'm getting treatment, it's helping tremendously. It's very interesting to read your post about the kind of therapy you used. I'm not aware of it and will look into it. I'm not sure if it's the same thing as cognitive behavioural therapy. You can find the post on the main page, it shouldn't be too far down.

That's so cool, thank you. I will Google it.

Aww thanks! Honestly, I don’t think my day was good. I skipped school and dissappointed my mom in several ways. Though, I did have a nice time with my best friend. The OCD I have just kind of always buzzes around in my head, so I don’t really know what my standards for a good or bad day is for me right now. A day like this is completely normal to me now, but the first couple of days after OCD initially hit me I was fucking mortified. Like the worst day I’ve ever experienced. And then that day has just repeated itself for almost 11 months. And truthfully, also looking at my post, OCD is just like picturing all your worst nightmares and realising you’re wide awake and it’s real. And every morning you live that worst day of your life through again. Okay damn, wow. I had a LOT on my mind. Sweet Jesus. Don’t mind me

I am actually getting treatment. I started therapy in May 2017 and ended the “course”? in February 2018. I went there for (translated directly from Danish) “Accentuated personality trait: Anxious”. Basically, I was overthinking a lot and kind of fit every anxiety diagnose a bit, but not enough. In retrospect, it was totally just a mild Pure-O. It was metacognitive therapy. I pretty much think what my therapist did was to in very discrete and science-y ways make me “let it go and not think about it”. So basically, she tricked me into not doing shit. And she also helped me look a bit on my beliefs about myself. Now that helped in so many ways you can’t imagine! Self image really plays the leading role in most anxiety sufferers. Anyways, I stopped because I felt way to good to use taxpayers money for treatment I didn’t need. Somehow in those four months, everything in my life decided to crash all at once, so my self esteem and my foundations for my life were all pretty rocked, and by the end of May and start of June I was burnt out and tipped over into the OCD hellhole. Then after 6 months of fighting to get on waiting lists for testing and therapy, I finally got assigned a therapist in January this year. But I’ve seen a couple other counselors, social workers and therapists in the meantime, any help matters.

@mrocdman also, how about you? Are you in treatment and what for exactly? Uhh and also, it seems I can’t click on your profile. I don’t know how to find that post of yours

Meta is, like, (x) about (x). You know, metathoughts are the thoughts you have about your thoughts. And metafeelings. Basically, all the next level overthinking we can do. So metacognitive therapy is more like looking at how you respond to your thoughts with your thoughts, on a deeper level. And in the case of Pure-O it’s real smart, because the MCT preaches that the less you focus on certain thoughts, the less they will affect you and matter. And as an MCT therapist I think you get really good at helping patients implement the whole disregarding some thoughts and ruminations. Not just levaving them alone, but dissecting them and going “huh, it’s nothing really, I was just overthinking”