TW Omg omg omg please help. It’s bad. Really bad. And I can’t go anywhere because I’m at work. It started off because I’m working with a coworker whose lesbian. And so I’ve been ping-ponging back-and-forth arguing with myself. I know I’m hetero I don’t like women like underneath this but something bad happened. First I passed her because you know I work as a dishwasher so there’s a corner where we stack the dishes when they’re clean and had to pass her and I imagined kissing her and I don’t like it but I’m scared I felt something in my chest. And I’m scared when I try to imagine kissing a guy I didn’t do much of anything but I feel exhausted and I’ve been taking Flexeril and Tylenol p.m. almost nonstop for a month so I’m like OK you know what not only is this probably messing with me like the OCD it’s probably also the Flexeril the Tylenol ganging up on me as well. And I was really excited about the Batman like I’m incredibly excited it’s not past tense but I’m scared I do I don’t like Zoe. I don’t like Selena. I’m scared I do because I’ve seen her I don’t like her boobs I’ve seen her basically naked and I don’t like it. No I’m imagining her in the dress from the 2021 met gala I keep saying don’t or do you don’t or do I don’t but I keep imagining them facing the camera covered in that sparkly should family coming anything and saying as I imagine hurt I’m scared it’s becoming so I feel weird in my chest describing it as but it doesn’t feel hotter delicious her boobs sticking out I didn’t like it. And then I was excited about the BATMAN right and then I said it’s even better with Catlin and it’s not better with her and there’s a scene where they’re walking through club and I love his walk because he’s serious and then said better with her like I’m it’s not better with her except I’m sorry. The thing is I’d liked his walk his shoulders are moving and he obviously has chest muscles so I’m scared I’m changing I’m sorry. He’s walking and then I said I did the imitation of his walk and since I’m not a guy I have boobs and I said better with her I don’t like her boobs. I don’t want to change and become self! I’m not bisexual that stuff is not hot. It’s not done with her I like his chest but I’m scared I have been not lying to myself I don’t like boobs! I saw her boobs basically I’ve seen her completely naked in the structure of her comfortable boobs they’re natural so they sad but she doesn’t wear bras and friends I don’t like her nipples I don’t like her boobs and I’m scared I’m becoming so and I don’t wanna be! I’m not bisexual I did not better with cat woman I don’t have a thing for her and I don’t understand cause I said so excited. Like when I was younger Halle Berry and play woman and I wanted to be like her but that’s it now I’m scared I keep imag managing her like she is she’s not hot as sexy I don’t want boobs to become sexy I don’t want to see them naked and it keeps imagine Halle Berry as a per year I don’t like her boobs I don’t like nipples I don’t like the ones that kind of turn up words I don’t like boobs they’re not it’s not better with cat women I swear I’m excited about Batman not Catwoman I’m scared I’m becoming so I don’t wanna be bisexual and I’m really freaked out I’m really scared to do I don’t like boobs I don’t want to develop anything for them I’m scared I’m I’m not bored of his I’m scared of you and I’m smiling I don’t like the way they stick off the chest or swish around when a woman walks I’m scared when she was walking all bad as I’m scared I don’t like it I said I don’t mind it I do mind I don’t like it I do mind I don’t want to do anything with girls I don’t like the way to stick off the chest and im frightened I am I don’t wanna start liking the way women walk and shit or the way they look naked I don’t like this shit I’m scared he is I don’t want him to go away

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad

I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!