My whole entire life I’ve been boy crazy, and I have always always dreamt of having a husband one day and having a family. That’s all I want. It’s a dream of mine, and I feel like it’s being ripped away from me. My OCD makes it seem like that’s not who I am, or that I don’t want that anymore. It’s so hard. I just don’t feel like me anymore. I don’t want to be with a girl, it just doesn’t feel like that’s who I am. I don’t want to marry a girl, it’s not what I want. But OCD twists that, why does it feel like I want that sometimes? I hate saying that because I don’t want it. I’m so confused. I don’t want to be with a girl, I want to be happy with my boyfriend. He’s so lovely. I wish these thoughts could go away, I wish I was normal sometimes. I wish I didn’t have OCD! Like a few days ago, I felt confident and I felt okay and I felt hope. And today it just feels like it’s back to square one. I feel hopeless, I’m tired, and I just don’t know! I’m so scared I’m just lying, I’m so scared I’m using OCD as an excuse, I’m so scared that these thoughts are true or will become true I just don’t realize it yet. I’m struggling so hard.