- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I understand, I’m a complete supporter of lgbtq and I’m happy that they are becoming more accepting nowadays. With my HOCD it’s very difficult. I’m a straight woman and it feels like all of my friends are either gay, or bi, or pan, or lesbian which is great but it makes me question myself. Like I just wonder “who am I” or do I need to be a part of them as well. It’s very triggering. I try to expose myself as well, we’re doing the best we can right now! I have been dealing with HOCD for about 5 months now, but it’s also been on and off for a few years but really started getting bad 5 months ago. It’s really hard to be okay nowadays, or to feel like myself. It’s hard to not feel like the “exception” and it’s hard to deal with the uncertainty. I feel like I just don’t know who I am, which makes sense, because my values are based around myself, family, love, and relationships. I’m sorry this is long, I just really feel this. HOCD is really hard, I sometimes wish I just had a different subtype because I feel like such a liar to everyone around me. I’m glad you have help and a community! Keep going, you aren’t alone!
- Date posted
- 3y
It just means I am who I am and I am not working to put myself into a box. :) relax another humans story isn’t yours, as you see peoples stories trigger you and they are all different, you are you, and when you stop letting the aniexty and compulsions rule you, you will be more clear minded and confident in your own decisions
- Date posted
- 3y
try taking out all compulsions, ruminating, checking, googling everything! 2nd mindfulness; recognize there are literally so many different types of sexualities! So if yoy don’t fit into a box that’s ok!! For me, I got “I’m gay” stuck in my head and then was like what the heck does this mean? I mean it literally repeated for months.. when I step back and take away all of my compulsions it becomes so much clearer to me that I am not someone who fits in a box, I am ME. And I am scared that someone is going to judge me on my sexuality because it doesn’t fit into a category. I like who I like, I’m not like oh I have a type or guys or girls or trans people. I just fall for who I do, even tho I’ve never been with anyone other then a man 😂 I’m married now and it attacked my marriage and made me feel like I was wrong because my sexuality is fluid. And sometimes stopping trying to figure out what you are is the first step to freedom. Sorry for the rant 😂
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry I can’t lie your comment really triggered me! No worries at all, it’s my fault for reading it. Could you elaborate on your sexuality being “fluid”?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
- Date posted
- 19w
This is killing me slowly day by day, im a straight female 20 years old, i started getting hocd after a break up with an ex and coming off intense use of 🍁🍃 for a few years on and off, i think it has messed up my brain so bad… my hocd is weird because ive been with men my whole life always wanted to be with men.. i also used to always question every relationship “do i love him? Does he love me? Am I with the right person?” Anyways after my hocd triggered my tocd due to researching hocd and finding they can often be linked, I started getting tocd and it’s worse then ever because it’s not who I want to be and I’m going back to situations where my abusive ex partner called me a “man” during a fight. I’ve always been a tomboy but never had same sex attraction. Help. This is killing me. I haven’t been able to study or leave the house most days, and work! I’ve lost motivation for everything and I’m in a dark hole. I need some success stories please
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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