- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Going through this exact same thing right now. I am a straight female and will never let that change, so the fact that I’m having these thoughts is absolute hell.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for sharing with me♥️ do you also do that p**n thing? that’s what concerns me the most because that is an actual action :/
- Date posted
- 3y
@embraceuncertainty I do not because it is a huge trigger for me but if it makes you feel better I think many people (men and women) prefer that kind because female bodies are in general more aesthetic. These thoughts are killing me though because I feel like I’m faking being attracted to men now even though I’ve always been boy crazy. I feel sick to my stomach over it
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 I am so concerned it is not OCD. But thank you so much, hopefully it is just that :( And I am so sorry you feel that way, I do too and it sucks. I don’t know why but I want to feel something over men and I just don’t, even tho I’ve always been attracted. Oh my god this does not sound like OCD at all😭
- Date posted
- 3y
I know exactly what you mean!! I’ve always watched lesbian p*rn, my therapist told me that it’s very much normal for straight women to watch girls in p*rn. I haven’t watched it in a while because it triggers me now, but I understand completely. I also know what you mean by feeling like a male like certain things I do or certain ways I sit I feel like I look so masculine and it’s really triggering to me. I’m a straight woman and these intrusive thoughts become so invasive sometimes! I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling too. You’ve got this, and the NOCD community is here for you:)
- Date posted
- 3y
Omg it feels so relieving to be understood😪 thank you so much, I am glad to know it’s normal for straight girls to watch those kind of things. I really appreciate your comment and your help, I am here for you and the community too♥️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Here for you ❤
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you♥️
- Date posted
- 3y
I said: “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s so so so so hard. And I’m really sorry if this is too tmi, but like, what *kind* of lesbian p*rn do you watch? I’m freaking out bcc I tend to watch sc*soaring videos and I feel like that makes me gay.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! Well I’ve spent the past 2 hours searching on google about p*rn and OCD. P*rn does not reflect your sexual orientation, it is just about pleasure and not about what your actual sexual interests are. So don’t worry about what kind of p*rn you watch, but dw I will answer your question anyways. It is actually pretty weird, because I would watch lesbian p*rn like two girls touching each other and stuff, it would get me aroused for a while, but after a few minutes I would stop getting excited and find what I was watching, gross. I have no idea why. But, do not worry because p*rn does not reflect anything.
- Date posted
- 3y
*sc*ssoring
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m so sorry but did you see my comment?
- Date posted
- 3y
I did not, what was it?
- Date posted
- 3y
idk if you are talking to me but no I did not :(
- Date posted
- 3y
It is 100% normal to watch lesbian porn. Lots of articles about it online!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 10w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
- Date posted
- 9w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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