Woke up at 4am last night with the memory of hitting a curb while driving 5 years ago and thinking “what if it was actually a person and what if you killed them and just never got caught” .. Fighting the compulsion to look back at police reports from 5 years ago to see if there was any “hit and runs” ☹️

Don’t do any assurance seeking!

I’m also resisting that ☹️ fighting the urge to tell my boyfriend how I’m feeling or look up reports or even look up if that intersection has a camera because I keep telling myself if it does there’s no way I’d get away with hitting someone and not getting caught .. ugh I feel so crazy. I also tell myself if I hit a person I would know and there would be damage but of coarse OCDs telling me “well you felt the curb” so what if that was actually a person.

Do not check!!! Sit through it! Not trying to give you reassurance but facts are facts-You have absolutely no evidence at all that this happened. Even if you try to check there is still no way to know for sure and you will not Gain certainty. It is a waste of time energy and mental space. But let’s say there is a .0001% chance that it happened. Accidents happen people make mistakes. People live and people die. You are only human and you do not need to be perfect. We don’t need to be punished for mistakes either as a lot of us with OCD believe. We are allowed to just make mistakes and move on. It doesn’t mean we’re horrible human beings. You are deserving of good things no matter what you’ve done.

Do not check!!! Sit through it! Not trying to give you reassurance but facts are facts-You have absolutely no evidence at all that this happened. Even if you try to check there is still no way to know for sure and you will not Gain certainty. It is a waste of time energy and mental space. But let’s say there is a .0001% chance that it happened. Accidents happen people make mistakes. People live and people die. You are only human and you do not need to be perfect. We don’t need to be punished for mistakes either as a lot of us with OCD believe. We are allowed to just make mistakes and move on. It doesn’t mean we’re horrible human beings. You are deserving of good things no matter what you’ve done.