Hey guys. So the ex romantic partner i had in my life has returned and when he left my ocd was terrible. Now he’s back after a year and a half and he told me when/if he came back into my life it would mean that he’s over me. Now he’s saying and doing things/ hinting that he’s still interested in me at least sexually. I feel like he doesn’t respect me and sees me as a object rn. It completely put me off of him. Im now torn on how direct i should be about not wanting anything romantic to happen. Cause every time i shy away from flirty jokes it seems like he becomes distant. I still think of him as one of my closest friends and i want it to remain that way… but if i tell him I’m not interested in that way I’m afraid to lose him. I don’t have any friends rn but 1 person (besides this app) and him and it is pretty lonely. He smothers me in attention and im ngl i love it. I tried reconnecting with other friends but honestly i think I might’ve cringed them out by how much i wanted to hang out with them idk. I just don’t want to be alone, but i don’t like this ex-romantic partner like that. I don’t want to lose him again though. Help?

Hi, friends. I apologize in advance because this is going to be a long one. Friends and family have tried to help and give me advice, but they don’t truly understand how OCD/ROCD disrupts me from thinking logically. Quick back story: I was in a relationship for 10 years with a guy who I liked enough, but was never truly “in love” with. We bought a house together and everything. I broke up with him in January 2024 after learning that he had been lying to me and hiding multiple substance addictions throughout our relationship. He was also a compulsive liar. Needless to say, I was left in shambles with a ton of trust issues and a mortgage that I couldn’t afford alone. Flash forward to October 2024: I was unexpectedly setup by someone and ended up going on a date with a divorced 38 year old, I’m 30 for reference. Neither of us expected it to go anywhere and we were both the first person the other dated since ending their previous relationship/marriage. Plot twist….I fell absolutely in love with this man. I mean, getting excited to go to bed because I knew when I woke up I could talk to him again in love (🤮). Lame, I know. He said he loved me very quickly after a night of drinking, but the next day made it clear that “I know I was drunk, but I know what I said and I meant it.” Things progressed, we spent a lot of time together very quickly and there were a lot of big feelings. Things were fantastic and I felt like I was living in a movie. Now, here we are 5 months later. I’ve learned that he is definitely an avoidant, which is tough because I have an anxious attachment style. He’s stopped saying the cute things he said in the beginning, and I know that people will say that was the “honeymoon phase” but I still feel just as happy and excited to be around him as I was in the beginning. He’s been pulling away and said that he does love me and wants to be with me, but he needs to work on himself first. I ended up breaking down and telling him everything I was feeling and everything that was upsetting me. He was taken back, but said that he hears me and that everything I’ve said is extremely valid. He said he didn’t realize that I felt that way and he’s sorry. We took a few days to collect our thoughts and process, finally seeing each other again last Friday. When we saw each other we had an open and honest talk. He said that he has noticed that he’s repeating things he’s done in past relationships and that he doesn’t want to do that with me, he doesn’t want to lose me. He said he wants to be together and that he sees a future with me, but he just needs a minute before he can “fully commit” I.e. introduce me to any more of his friends and family. I’m completely lost. I want to be with him more than anything. I respect that he recognizes a pattern and his detrimental behavior and I’m willing to meet him where he is. But at the same time, should I have to try so hard for someone to love me? I don’t want to lose him, but I cannot lose myself again either. I’m torn between “the right person will do what it takes to be with you” and “if they aren’t giving you what you need, walk away”… I know this is long, but if you made it this far, any and all advice would be extremely appreciated. Thank you!!

my ocd and anxiety has been so bad a couple of days… so i started liking this guy that i am friends with and we also went to prom together… after prom, i caught feelings for him even more because he’s so respectful and nice… but he is also a boy that acts like one… but overall he’s rlly sweet.. the other day though since we go to the same school we were in the parking lot after school with our friends just talking and socializing… but once he was leaving i went to go give him a hug and hugged me… my other guy friend was with us who’s also friends with him and hugged him too and whispered in his ear and said “yo u and sav would be a good couple” and he nodded saying “yes” (my guy friend told me that) so eventually i told him saying “yeah i like him” blah blah but there is a problem that bothers me so badly… my friend likes him… i didn’t tell her for a while until i think my OCD was just bothering me sm if i didn’t tell her so i told her how i felt and i was just saying like “i don’t want this to ruin our friendship or anything but i have feelings for him…” yada yada… she was like “i understand but if i’m honest with u if u ask him out i will be upset” i’m just like i wasn’t planning to rlly i can’t tell if he rlly likes me anyways but i didn’t say that… i said “i’m just telling u how i feel” and she goes “i mean i would see u guys anyways because u guys are closer” then she says “can i ask u something and a non rude way” and i was like sure…. she goes “since i’m the first person that liked him can i give it a try if it doesn’t work that’s that” and i was like girl idk it’s Gods plan if it doesn’t work it doesn’t if it does it does” and i’m saying that in the most mature and respectful way yk? because i am christian i’ve been praying about it also. so we were good after that but my anxiety and OCD has been so horrible… i’m uncomfortable around them because she flirts with him but i don’t and she did it on ft when i fell asleep on ft and my best friend was on there and had to hear it….she told me that he does it back she just can’t tell if he’s joking or not… but i’m so overwhelmed about it i’m having thoughts like “what if u and him stop being friends” … “what if something bad happens” …. “what if ur not confident in yourself enough where he won’t like you” …. “what if this is a love triangle” i’m just so sick of this and i don’t wanna be so distraught over a stupid boy because i’ve been through sm with my past talking stage thinking it will work but now im like rlly cauious over being in a relationship now…

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.