- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey man listen, I feel exactly what you’re going through. I feel it so much to the point that it feels like my story. Know that you’re not alone. Just try to not look for reassurance. Accept the thoughts and realize they do not control who you are
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- 3y
Thank you very much. It’s just hard because I feel like all signs are pointing to me being gay even though I have only real relationship experiences with men and have only ever been in love with men. I’m just so scared that it isn’t OCD and that, because unlike other people I’ve seen on the app who have never felt any type of attraction to the same sex (which I feel like I have just in the physical sense not in the sense where I want a romantic relationship with another woman) I feel like I must be the exception and am just using OCD as the last chance to cling to my heterosexuality.
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- 3y
You were never meant to be gay to begin with. That’s how I would answer to someone if they ask a question how to deal with not living a gay life, and affect your life in a way it’s negative.
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- 3y
I’m sorry what do you mean? Like if I was gay I would not dread living a gay life?
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- 3y
@cf05 Yes that’s what I meant.
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- 3y
@celis_karoline Thank you. As much as I hate to acknowledge that reassurance helps, it does. I have gotten so in my head that I have no idea what is real anymore and it makes it so difficult to remember that this wouldn’t feel so wrong if it was what I truly wanted and would be happy with. The hardest thing for me is that I have had these thoughts in the past and now that they feel so strong it feels like they absolutely have to be real.
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- 3y
@celis_karoline Like why would the thoughts come back if they weren’t true/I didn’t want them? I am just terrified that they could be true and that everything in my life will change. I don’t want anything to change and I don’t want to live my life as a gay person.
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- 3y
@cf05 You welcome and know that you’re not alone. There are people out there who feel the same as you, and went through the same experience.
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- 3y
And who you want to be
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- 3y
So sorry I said man. It doesn’t matter your gender. It is still the same thing I feel. I have only ever been in relationships with women too. But ocd wants you to forget that. It wants you to look for reassurance that you’re not gay. Mock the ocd. Make it realize that you’re bigger than it
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- 3y
I even have a girlfriend and struggle with this same thing you so
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- 3y
Do
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- 3y
This is just what I’ve learned outside of this app. I am in your shoes and struggling as well. I scheduled a call with nocd for tomorrow morning
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- 3y
I appreciate all of your help. Everything just feels like a trigger now like I’m at a new college and can’t even make friends because I fear that I will be attracted to them. On top of that, I fear that I am no longer attracted to men and that I have been gay for a long time and just haven’t admitted it, even though I really desperately want these thoughts to go away and if I could do something to make them leave for food I would.
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- 3y
For good**
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I’m struggling so bad. I actually started getting better but now my thoughts are back. I feel like I can’t do anything, watch a movie “oh you’re turned on by that”, go out shopping “oh you’re trying to look pretty for her”. Like what???? My brain just won’t stop!!!!!! It’s making me so depressed, I just feel like I’m about to lose it. I’m happily married, and absolutely in love with my husband. But my brain keeps saying “you’re gay! You’re bi” whatever. I’m so tired guys, I feel so alone, and this has been going on for months…
- Date posted
- 20w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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- 14w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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