Thread
heygirl
16d ago
  • Sexual Orientation OCD

so i have been struggling with hocd for quite some time now and a little bit of pocd when i was younger. i got help and medication and things have been somewhat better however when i sometimes go through tik tok i still cant seem to not look at the ones that are like “how i knew i was gay” and such things like that and my brain will find all the ways i can relate or what really gets me in such a spiral is all the comphet stuff (if ur struggling with hocd, dont read that it did nothing for me but harm) i dont know how to avoid these things and i dont wanna avoid, i wanna learn to accept and let these things come and go but its so hard to not let them stay and engage with them because they feel like “signs” to me, and i HAVE to read them or im avoiding it or repressing something by not reading it. and while all this happens inside my head it makes me distance myself away from dating and doing anything of that sort because i just cant imagine it going well and it scares me that it’s always gonna be like that.

moonstar
16d ago
I understand you completely you’re not alone
lennygirl
16d ago
comphet fucked me up so, so badly. I’ve probably read through the masterdoc upwards of 20 times and relate to about 8 of the points (not 100% sure, but I marked any that I could even remotely relate to). You’re not alone.
heygirl
15d ago
thank u sm for responding. i just truly feel so stuck rn and its painful to think ab it but i just wanna date and get married or anything just not be alone for the rest of my life and im so scared thats where im headed. this has completely shut down that whole part of me and its so scary