I feel like I’m lying to everyone too.
I recently saw a post saying “if you have a thought you don’t want to be having, that’s uncomfortable or disturbing, that’s your OCD. And if your brain tells you that it’s not your OCD and you want to be having the thought, it’s still your OCD”
I found it very helpful. When I have these intrusive thoughts, images, feelings, urges, my mind tricks me into thinking I actually want them. But I don’t. And even then I’m still doubting.
OCD is never satisfied, it will continue to doubt your doubts over and over again. It’s a cycle, a never ending cycle if you continue to feed it.
OCD is so distressing, it is really difficult to deal with. My thoughts are on my mind from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. And now they’re creeping into my dreams.
Also, I’m not a professional, I’m just a fellow sufferers, talking from research and experience.