[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 3y
⭐️⭐️
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. This is one of the hardest parts of pocd. When you have ocd your mind is hardwired to think the way you do, you ponder things very deeply and consider different outcomes and what they might mean. Everyone has the thoughts you do, but if they don’t have ocd they can think a gross intrusive thought and think “ew, that was weird.” And never think about it again. You are a caring person and you had these natural thoughts and became really concerned about what they could possibly mean. OCD tries to tell you that you are evil, wrong, and bad for even being able to conjure up such disturbing images, and then you are forced to keep checking yourself to see if what OCD is telling you is true. What you said is partially true, there are pedos who feel guilty. Their experience is much different than how you feel right now, however. They don’t feel guilt the same way other people do, they have a hard time feeling pretty much any feelings the way most of us do. They have very low empathy. They might become excited and offend against a child when they are given the opportunity and feel guilty after the act is complete. This guilt is not the same as the guilt the rest of us experience. To the rest of us, we wouldn’t offend against a child in the first place. For you and me, even the IDEA of offending against a child makes us feel guilty, it makes us feel sick to have the thought cross our heads. They feel guilt, but not enough to stop what they’re doing. With POCD, we run from the thoughts and the way they make us feel. We might do “checking” like behaviors, where we intentionally force ourselves to think about pedophilia to make sure our reactions are the way we want them to be, but we aren’t fantasizing for sexual gratification. We don’t want to be thinking about it. Real pedos enjoy their thoughts. They seek out chances to be around children and to offend against them. They look for media depicting children. They have fantasies and cannot feel sexually gratified without thinking about offending against children. They enjoy the power they can have over an innocent, helpless child, and they enjoy the fact that they can hurt and exploit them without them even knowing it’s happening. When you have POCD, the last thing you want to do is think about this stuff. You often start avoiding being around children, and when you come into normal, healthy physical contact with them it makes you sick and nervous. You actively avoid imagery that reminds you of offenses against children. The groin reponds to a lot of things. Any part of your body is going to respond and have sensation if you focus on it hard enough. The groin is especially responsive because of the way we are designed as human beings. We experience sensation from intense emotions such as fear, pain, anxiety, excitement, anger, and thousands of other complex feelings we have to deal with as human beings. The groin also reponds to sexual imagery of any kind, regardless of whether the imagery is personally arousing to you. Sexual imagery activates the same part in all of our brains. Even if you’re shown an image of two really ugly people having the grossest sex you’ve ever seen, the image of two members of your species having sex will cause your brain and groin to have sensation. It’s not comfortable at all, and everyone experiences it, it’s the OCD and sickness of your thinking that causes you to assign such heavy meaning to it.
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- Date posted
- 24w
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- Date posted
- 17w
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Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 16w
I don’t understand who I am
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
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