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POCD

⭐️

Date posted: 3y

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. This is one of the hardest parts of pocd. When you have ocd your mind is hardwired to think the way you do, you ponder things very deeply and consider different outcomes and what they might mean. Everyone has the thoughts you do, but if they don’t have ocd they can think a gross intrusive thought and think “ew, that was weird.” And never think about it again. You are a caring person and you had these natural thoughts and became really concerned about what they could possibly mean. OCD tries to tell you that you are evil, wrong, and bad for even being able to conjure up such disturbing images, and then you are forced to keep checking yourself to see if what OCD is telling you is true. What you said is partially true, there are pedos who feel guilty. Their experience is much different than how you feel right now, however. They don’t feel guilt the same way other people do, they have a hard time feeling pretty much any feelings the way most of us do. They have very low empathy. They might become excited and offend against a child when they are given the opportunity and feel guilty after the act is complete. This guilt is not the same as the guilt the rest of us experience. To the rest of us, we wouldn’t offend against a child in the first place. For you and me, even the IDEA of offending against a child makes us feel guilty, it makes us feel sick to have the thought cross our heads. They feel guilt, but not enough to stop what they’re doing. With POCD, we run from the thoughts and the way they make us feel. We might do “checking” like behaviors, where we intentionally force ourselves to think about pedophilia to make sure our reactions are the way we want them to be, but we aren’t fantasizing for sexual gratification. We don’t want to be thinking about it. Real pedos enjoy their thoughts. They seek out chances to be around children and to offend against them. They look for media depicting children. They have fantasies and cannot feel sexually gratified without thinking about offending against children. They enjoy the power they can have over an innocent, helpless child, and they enjoy the fact that they can hurt and exploit them without them even knowing it’s happening. When you have POCD, the last thing you want to do is think about this stuff. You often start avoiding being around children, and when you come into normal, healthy physical contact with them it makes you sick and nervous. You actively avoid imagery that reminds you of offenses against children. The groin reponds to a lot of things. Any part of your body is going to respond and have sensation if you focus on it hard enough. The groin is especially responsive because of the way we are designed as human beings. We experience sensation from intense emotions such as fear, pain, anxiety, excitement, anger, and thousands of other complex feelings we have to deal with as human beings. The groin also reponds to sexual imagery of any kind, regardless of whether the imagery is personally arousing to you. Sexual imagery activates the same part in all of our brains. Even if you’re shown an image of two really ugly people having the grossest sex you’ve ever seen, the image of two members of your species having sex will cause your brain and groin to have sensation. It’s not comfortable at all, and everyone experiences it, it’s the OCD and sickness of your thinking that causes you to assign such heavy meaning to it.

Anonymous_1

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for the response.

Anonymous_1

Date posted: 3y

It seems like anyone without ocd would also be worried sick like I am and trying to figure out if it means they are something terrible.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 25w

Intrusive thoughts during self pleasuring :/

I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/

POCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w

I’m panicking, any advice is welcomed

**TMI Warning: This post is very personal and might be uncomfortable for some.** I’m feeling panicked and need to get this out. I have intrusive thoughts that make me question my morals, especially about consent. I have a CNC preference (consent to non-consent), but I feel so conflicted because I know how horrifying and heartbreaking real non-consensual acts are. The thought of anyone suffering in that way is so awful, yet I get thoughts that feel like I’m justifying the real thing—the immoral thing. Sometimes, I feel like I have to focus hard just to truly condemn it, and that terrifies me. It’s hard to separate these thoughts from who I am, and I’m scared it means something terrible about me. I feel so much shame for having a CNC preference. I know it’s rooted in consent, but I feel like I’ve never had certainty that I fully condemn the real thing. I’m scared that deep down, I might think it’s all the same.

HOY

Date posted: 13w

False arousal and uncertainty

Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self

POCD

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