Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
I know itās common with SOOCD to lose attraction to your preferred gender. Iām a straight female, and have been my whole life, and Iāve always been absolutely boy crazy and now all the sudden it feels like all my attraction has just gone down the drain?? I still feel something for men, I feel drawn to men, I want to pursue a life with a man. But these thoughts have twisted that and made me scared that it is all a lie. I get anxious around men/women couples because I get soooo scared that I donāt want that. I get scared around gay couples because Iām scared that I will turn into that. Triggers are everywhere. Itās super difficult and hard but youāve got this. You will get that woman one day. You can recover from this scary disorder and so can I. I have a lovely boyfriend, and one day I will marry him. This is so hard, I know. Sometimes it feels all to real, sometimes it feels like ocd is just an excuse. Sometimes I get urges. I understand. You are not alone.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
It's constantly on my mind. I feel like I want to burst out crying. Went on a date last night. And I liked her. Not just look wise. But she was a nice person. But I don't know if I can see her again because of these feelings. Like I'm gay and want to be with a man. I have men in mind it's horrible š
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 I understand, these feelings feel like Iām bi/lesbian/asexual but like itās completely against what I want, and believe me, sometimes it feels like thatās just a lie. You should go on that date with that girl. You deserve it, tell OCD to just kiss your ass
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate to both of these so much. These thoughts are making me question everything about who I am and who I want to be. I donāt want to be gay and I want to continue my life as a straight woman, but it feels as though I will never have that again. I am so terrified that I am just hiding behind OCD to avoid having to accept that these thoughts in my head are true, but they are making me feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I second guess myself every time I see straight couples now because I feel like I donāt want that, even though thatās all Iāve ever wanted. I donāt want to be with women romantically at all, the thought scares the shit out of me, but it feels so real and like everything in my life has just led to this point. I donāt know what to do.
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
Exactly how I feel!
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš How are you doing today? I know you said you were having a hard time lately, and I am currently in the same boat. Feels like my world is ending and I am so scared that that means I am changing into something I donāt want to be.
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 Iām doing meh, not so good honestly real event is kicking my ass. Iām at work, and I get bad anxiety on days I have to work. I feel like my world is ending. I donāt want to end up with a girl and it feels like itās going to happen. Just sneaky ocd. How are you?
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš I feel as tho it's either come out or take my life. I wouldn't even mind being bi I keep saying that but a little voice says it's more than that. And I feel like I want to be with a man. I think back how I used to love women check them out. I feel anxious at everything. Looking at women because it feels like I'm doing it unnaturally š
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 My issue is that Iām scared Iām bi or lesbian. I donāt want to be either, I donāt want to end up with a woman. Like at all. Itās really difficult because ocd convinces me that itās all just a lie. And as a woman, Iāve always looked up to other women, wanting to look like them or be like them. But itās never been I wanted to be with them. And this whole soocd thing is just really difficult because it feels like my whole self is changing. And everytbing I do feels like a lie. Everything makes me anxious too, I canāt even wear certain things or say certain words. I have constant intrusive thoughts about being with a woman and I wish they would just stop! Iām so tired. Iām sorry youāre going through the same thing.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš Yeah it's the same with me š
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
I just feel like I most be bi
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
I know the feeling, itās such a hard thing to deal with. Youāre so strong!
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
I've started seeing some girl and I don't know how to explain to her about this. Or do I just say I'm bi š
lindsšlindsš
- Date posted
- 3y
Whatever feels comfortable to you! You donāt have to share anything, either.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš I feel its like the right thing to do. I don't think it's fair
Related posts
edimichael
- Date posted
- 24w
acceptance
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
Mags2002
- Date posted
- 24w
Soocd: need some response , is this even ocd?
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mattis!
- Date posted
- 24w
Feels so real
I donāt know if itās SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and itās like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I donāt want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I havenāt been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I donāt want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
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