Thread
Ihateocd83
14d ago
  • Sexual Orientation OCD

I feel like I've been palming this off as ocd I really do. Feels like I want it but I can't accept it 😔. But I still feel something for women but it has diminished somewhat. I don't even know if its there anymore 😔

linds💕
14d ago
I know it’s common with SOOCD to lose attraction to your preferred gender. I’m a straight female, and have been my whole life, and I’ve always been absolutely boy crazy and now all the sudden it feels like all my attraction has just gone down the drain?? I still feel something for men, I feel drawn to men, I want to pursue a life with a man. But these thoughts have twisted that and made me scared that it is all a lie. I get anxious around men/women couples because I get soooo scared that I don’t want that. I get scared around gay couples because I’m scared that I will turn into that. Triggers are everywhere. It’s super difficult and hard but you’ve got this. You will get that woman one day. You can recover from this scary disorder and so can I. I have a lovely boyfriend, and one day I will marry him. This is so hard, I know. Sometimes it feels all to real, sometimes it feels like ocd is just an excuse. Sometimes I get urges. I understand. You are not alone.
Ihateocd83
13d ago
It's constantly on my mind. I feel like I want to burst out crying. Went on a date last night. And I liked her. Not just look wise. But she was a nice person. But I don't know if I can see her again because of these feelings. Like I'm gay and want to be with a man. I have men in mind it's horrible 😔
linds💕
13d ago
@Ihateocd83 I understand, these feelings feel like I’m bi/lesbian/asexual but like it’s completely against what I want, and believe me, sometimes it feels like that’s just a lie. You should go on that date with that girl. You deserve it, tell OCD to just kiss your ass
cf05
14d ago
I can relate to both of these so much. These thoughts are making me question everything about who I am and who I want to be. I don’t want to be gay and I want to continue my life as a straight woman, but it feels as though I will never have that again. I am so terrified that I am just hiding behind OCD to avoid having to accept that these thoughts in my head are true, but they are making me feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I second guess myself every time I see straight couples now because I feel like I don’t want that, even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want to be with women romantically at all, the thought scares the shit out of me, but it feels so real and like everything in my life has just led to this point. I don’t know what to do.
linds💕
14d ago
Exactly how I feel!
cf05
14d ago
@linds💕 How are you doing today? I know you said you were having a hard time lately, and I am currently in the same boat. Feels like my world is ending and I am so scared that that means I am changing into something I don’t want to be.
linds💕
14d ago
@cf05 I’m doing meh, not so good honestly real event is kicking my ass. I’m at work, and I get bad anxiety on days I have to work. I feel like my world is ending. I don’t want to end up with a girl and it feels like it’s going to happen. Just sneaky ocd. How are you?
Ihateocd83
11d ago
@linds💕 I feel as tho it's either come out or take my life. I wouldn't even mind being bi I keep saying that but a little voice says it's more than that. And I feel like I want to be with a man. I think back how I used to love women check them out. I feel anxious at everything. Looking at women because it feels like I'm doing it unnaturally 😔
linds💕
11d ago
@Ihateocd83 My issue is that I’m scared I’m bi or lesbian. I don’t want to be either, I don’t want to end up with a woman. Like at all. It’s really difficult because ocd convinces me that it’s all just a lie. And as a woman, I’ve always looked up to other women, wanting to look like them or be like them. But it’s never been I wanted to be with them. And this whole soocd thing is just really difficult because it feels like my whole self is changing. And everytbing I do feels like a lie. Everything makes me anxious too, I can’t even wear certain things or say certain words. I have constant intrusive thoughts about being with a woman and I wish they would just stop! I’m so tired. I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing.
Ihateocd83
11d ago
@linds💕 Yeah it's the same with me 😔
Ihateocd83
11d ago
I just feel like I most be bi
linds💕
11d ago
I know the feeling, it’s such a hard thing to deal with. You’re so strong!
Ihateocd83
11d ago
I've started seeing some girl and I don't know how to explain to her about this. Or do I just say I'm bi 😔
linds💕
11d ago
Whatever feels comfortable to you! You don’t have to share anything, either.
Ihateocd83
11d ago
@linds💕 I feel its like the right thing to do. I don't think it's fair