- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I know itās common with SOOCD to lose attraction to your preferred gender. Iām a straight female, and have been my whole life, and Iāve always been absolutely boy crazy and now all the sudden it feels like all my attraction has just gone down the drain?? I still feel something for men, I feel drawn to men, I want to pursue a life with a man. But these thoughts have twisted that and made me scared that it is all a lie. I get anxious around men/women couples because I get soooo scared that I donāt want that. I get scared around gay couples because Iām scared that I will turn into that. Triggers are everywhere. Itās super difficult and hard but youāve got this. You will get that woman one day. You can recover from this scary disorder and so can I. I have a lovely boyfriend, and one day I will marry him. This is so hard, I know. Sometimes it feels all to real, sometimes it feels like ocd is just an excuse. Sometimes I get urges. I understand. You are not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
It's constantly on my mind. I feel like I want to burst out crying. Went on a date last night. And I liked her. Not just look wise. But she was a nice person. But I don't know if I can see her again because of these feelings. Like I'm gay and want to be with a man. I have men in mind it's horrible š
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 I understand, these feelings feel like Iām bi/lesbian/asexual but like itās completely against what I want, and believe me, sometimes it feels like thatās just a lie. You should go on that date with that girl. You deserve it, tell OCD to just kiss your ass
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate to both of these so much. These thoughts are making me question everything about who I am and who I want to be. I donāt want to be gay and I want to continue my life as a straight woman, but it feels as though I will never have that again. I am so terrified that I am just hiding behind OCD to avoid having to accept that these thoughts in my head are true, but they are making me feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I second guess myself every time I see straight couples now because I feel like I donāt want that, even though thatās all Iāve ever wanted. I donāt want to be with women romantically at all, the thought scares the shit out of me, but it feels so real and like everything in my life has just led to this point. I donāt know what to do.
- Date posted
- 3y
Exactly how I feel!
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš How are you doing today? I know you said you were having a hard time lately, and I am currently in the same boat. Feels like my world is ending and I am so scared that that means I am changing into something I donāt want to be.
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 Iām doing meh, not so good honestly real event is kicking my ass. Iām at work, and I get bad anxiety on days I have to work. I feel like my world is ending. I donāt want to end up with a girl and it feels like itās going to happen. Just sneaky ocd. How are you?
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš I feel as tho it's either come out or take my life. I wouldn't even mind being bi I keep saying that but a little voice says it's more than that. And I feel like I want to be with a man. I think back how I used to love women check them out. I feel anxious at everything. Looking at women because it feels like I'm doing it unnaturally š
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 My issue is that Iām scared Iām bi or lesbian. I donāt want to be either, I donāt want to end up with a woman. Like at all. Itās really difficult because ocd convinces me that itās all just a lie. And as a woman, Iāve always looked up to other women, wanting to look like them or be like them. But itās never been I wanted to be with them. And this whole soocd thing is just really difficult because it feels like my whole self is changing. And everytbing I do feels like a lie. Everything makes me anxious too, I canāt even wear certain things or say certain words. I have constant intrusive thoughts about being with a woman and I wish they would just stop! Iām so tired. Iām sorry youāre going through the same thing.
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš Yeah it's the same with me š
- Date posted
- 3y
I just feel like I most be bi
- Date posted
- 3y
I know the feeling, itās such a hard thing to deal with. Youāre so strong!
- Date posted
- 3y
I've started seeing some girl and I don't know how to explain to her about this. Or do I just say I'm bi š
- Date posted
- 3y
Whatever feels comfortable to you! You donāt have to share anything, either.
- Date posted
- 3y
@lindsš I feel its like the right thing to do. I don't think it's fair
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel different from others, I donāt feel as feminine and I feel like Iāve changed. Iām not sure why I feel this way. I also donāt think my ocd is ocd, itās just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if Iām not, I get it, but I donāt feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and itās eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I donāt know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I donāt want a girlfriend, itās just that I donāt see anything for myself and I feel like Iām hiding. Itās hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I wonāt be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 19w
Iāve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life Iāve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked āzestyā in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now Iām always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if Iām attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I donāt even know what my sexuality is and itās really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman Iāve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the wayššš please any advice or comments
- Date posted
- 18w
I wouldnāt really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go āwhat if I like her but as a man?ā like my thoughts say Iām a straight man instead of a straight woman. And itās really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say āno no no no noā multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but itās hard to not do it because itās so triggering. Now I donāt mind if I like women, however Iām really scared that Iām actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I donāt want to be a man. Like Iāll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I donāt want to be a man at all and I donāt want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but Iām still so scared. Iāll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so itās definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? š„²
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