Does anyone get this feeling you really wanna break up!? 😞 I’ve been crying my eyes out all evening… I kept testing myself saying I wanna break up but no reaction! 😭

Hate that you are feeling this way 💔 but to encourage you, ROCD isn’t just about thoughts—sometimes you just feel really anxious or upset, it can be feeling annoyed, bored, disgusted, any feeling towards your partner or your relationship. And sometimes there aren’t feelings at all, just thoughts, sometimes a combo of both! “Numbness” is really, really common too where you just feel like you have no feelings about your partner or relationship. It’s just a phase of working through it. Its really different for everyone! Don’t give up! All relationships have both good qualities and stuff you need to work on, and it’s so, so okay to feel what you’re feeling. 💕 Typically when we are “testing” for any kind of reaction (whether you’re testing to see if you feel love, or if you’re testing to see whether or not you would be sad if you broke up, etc) we will not end up actually having a reliable “test result”. Because by doing the test, we are taken out of the present moment, and are no longer experiencing our actual lives, but instead analyzing possible scenarios from an outside perspective. So any feelings you may or may not come up with that way are not really valid for decision-making 🙃 It’s so hard, I know, I’ve had rOCD for going on five years and it sucks. Something I find helpful is knowing that feelings of anxiety or sadness are not pointing you towards what your actions should be….all those big feelings or doubts are not what we should act on, our actions should come from a rational place of choice (you will make decisions from a base of safety in yourself, not from this place of fear). Bringing safety and calm to your nervous system is a good thing to do first! 💕

This is very common in rocd. Don’t worry. If you are in healthy relationship don’t break up. Just let the thoughtes flow and learn that thoughts doesn’t mean anything. Think bout your spouse as a friend when you feel this way and when u feel love for him treat him as a boyfriend.

If you haven’t, check out “awaken into love” with Kiyomi Lefleur—she has amazing podcasts and YouTube videos on ROCD that are free, and also a course you can buy, it’s been really helpful for me!

I’m so sorry this is so hard and scary!! It does sound like you are still clinging to wanting to feel a certain way—to know for sure. And that’s the central piece of rOCD, so you gotta do everything you can to not look for that feeling, even though it might feel wrong. Wanting to work on your issues is a value! Go off of that! And remember to keep showing love to yourself through it all for how you are feeling. 💕