- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hate that you are feeling this way š but to encourage you, ROCD isnāt just about thoughtsāsometimes you just feel really anxious or upset, it can be feeling annoyed, bored, disgusted, any feeling towards your partner or your relationship. And sometimes there arenāt feelings at all, just thoughts, sometimes a combo of both! āNumbnessā is really, really common too where you just feel like you have no feelings about your partner or relationship. Itās just a phase of working through it. Its really different for everyone! Donāt give up! All relationships have both good qualities and stuff you need to work on, and itās so, so okay to feel what youāre feeling. š Typically when we are ātestingā for any kind of reaction (whether youāre testing to see if you feel love, or if youāre testing to see whether or not you would be sad if you broke up, etc) we will not end up actually having a reliable ātest resultā. Because by doing the test, we are taken out of the present moment, and are no longer experiencing our actual lives, but instead analyzing possible scenarios from an outside perspective. So any feelings you may or may not come up with that way are not really valid for decision-making š Itās so hard, I know, Iāve had rOCD for going on five years and it sucks. Something I find helpful is knowing that feelings of anxiety or sadness are not pointing you towards what your actions should beā¦.all those big feelings or doubts are not what we should act on, our actions should come from a rational place of choice (you will make decisions from a base of safety in yourself, not from this place of fear). Bringing safety and calm to your nervous system is a good thing to do first! š
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry but I have to add this to my previous message! Numbness is also not a place of safety. I said ābig feelings and doubtsā but the lack of feelings is not a reliable place to move from either. Stabilizing the nervous system brings safety, and a sense of being okay within yourself. Not the feeling of being disconnected from yourself, where your brain is so tired and you are so tired you canāt even think straight or emote. I just didnāt want that to trigger you in case you are feeling numb right now instead of anxious or sad. š my love goes out to youāthis is hard but you can do it!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Annaš» Everything you've written here is super helpful! I also have experienced this numbness and have overthought it for the longest!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is very common in rocd. Donāt worry. If you are in healthy relationship donāt break up. Just let the thoughtes flow and learn that thoughts doesnāt mean anything. Think bout your spouse as a friend when you feel this way and when u feel love for him treat him as a boyfriend.
- Date posted
- 3y
There are so few thoughts! This canāt be ROCD! It doesnāt feel like this! š my relationship has issues but not that bad. We wanna work on them but how when I constantly feel like thisā¦. š
- Date posted
- 3y
If you havenāt, check out āawaken into loveā with Kiyomi Lefleurāshe has amazing podcasts and YouTube videos on ROCD that are free, and also a course you can buy, itās been really helpful for me!
- Date posted
- 3y
Iāve watched her⦠nothing works⦠I held his hand for comfort. It just feels as though k truly donāt love him. Two night ago I wasnāt numbed out I just knew I loved him and I even cuddled⦠but whenever things get difficult nothing works. I wanna work on some of the problems we have but we canāt if I break up⦠š¢
- Date posted
- 3y
Iām so sorry this is so hard and scary!! It does sound like you are still clinging to wanting to feel a certain wayāto know for sure. And thatās the central piece of rOCD, so you gotta do everything you can to not look for that feeling, even though it might feel wrong. Wanting to work on your issues is a value! Go off of that! And remember to keep showing love to yourself through it all for how you are feeling. š
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?
- Date posted
- 20w
I feel like I shouldnāt be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I canāt remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I donāt know why I love him ā and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I canāt feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I donāt want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know Iām not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
- Date posted
- 19w
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. Iām scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesnāt this mean that this is what would happen or I donāt know till it happens? I still canāt imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus thatās also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how Iād just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. Iām just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe thatās part of the issue cause I havenāt been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and Iāve been told thatās ocd but itās affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And Iām Scared why donāt memories and things affect me like it used to doesnāt that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end š
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