- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hate that you are feeling this way š but to encourage you, ROCD isnāt just about thoughtsāsometimes you just feel really anxious or upset, it can be feeling annoyed, bored, disgusted, any feeling towards your partner or your relationship. And sometimes there arenāt feelings at all, just thoughts, sometimes a combo of both! āNumbnessā is really, really common too where you just feel like you have no feelings about your partner or relationship. Itās just a phase of working through it. Its really different for everyone! Donāt give up! All relationships have both good qualities and stuff you need to work on, and itās so, so okay to feel what youāre feeling. š Typically when we are ātestingā for any kind of reaction (whether youāre testing to see if you feel love, or if youāre testing to see whether or not you would be sad if you broke up, etc) we will not end up actually having a reliable ātest resultā. Because by doing the test, we are taken out of the present moment, and are no longer experiencing our actual lives, but instead analyzing possible scenarios from an outside perspective. So any feelings you may or may not come up with that way are not really valid for decision-making š Itās so hard, I know, Iāve had rOCD for going on five years and it sucks. Something I find helpful is knowing that feelings of anxiety or sadness are not pointing you towards what your actions should beā¦.all those big feelings or doubts are not what we should act on, our actions should come from a rational place of choice (you will make decisions from a base of safety in yourself, not from this place of fear). Bringing safety and calm to your nervous system is a good thing to do first! š
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry but I have to add this to my previous message! Numbness is also not a place of safety. I said ābig feelings and doubtsā but the lack of feelings is not a reliable place to move from either. Stabilizing the nervous system brings safety, and a sense of being okay within yourself. Not the feeling of being disconnected from yourself, where your brain is so tired and you are so tired you canāt even think straight or emote. I just didnāt want that to trigger you in case you are feeling numb right now instead of anxious or sad. š my love goes out to youāthis is hard but you can do it!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Annaš» Everything you've written here is super helpful! I also have experienced this numbness and have overthought it for the longest!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is very common in rocd. Donāt worry. If you are in healthy relationship donāt break up. Just let the thoughtes flow and learn that thoughts doesnāt mean anything. Think bout your spouse as a friend when you feel this way and when u feel love for him treat him as a boyfriend.
- Date posted
- 3y
There are so few thoughts! This canāt be ROCD! It doesnāt feel like this! š my relationship has issues but not that bad. We wanna work on them but how when I constantly feel like thisā¦. š
- Date posted
- 3y
If you havenāt, check out āawaken into loveā with Kiyomi Lefleurāshe has amazing podcasts and YouTube videos on ROCD that are free, and also a course you can buy, itās been really helpful for me!
- Date posted
- 3y
Iāve watched her⦠nothing works⦠I held his hand for comfort. It just feels as though k truly donāt love him. Two night ago I wasnāt numbed out I just knew I loved him and I even cuddled⦠but whenever things get difficult nothing works. I wanna work on some of the problems we have but we canāt if I break up⦠š¢
- Date posted
- 3y
Iām so sorry this is so hard and scary!! It does sound like you are still clinging to wanting to feel a certain wayāto know for sure. And thatās the central piece of rOCD, so you gotta do everything you can to not look for that feeling, even though it might feel wrong. Wanting to work on your issues is a value! Go off of that! And remember to keep showing love to yourself through it all for how you are feeling. š
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?
- Date posted
- 14w
I feel like I shouldnāt be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I canāt remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I donāt know why I love him ā and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I canāt feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I donāt want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know Iām not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
- Date posted
- 13w
My brain keeps comparing how I felt then with the same thoughts to now and how it is diff now to prove it had changed. Iām feeling like I know it isnāt right and that maybe Iād pair better and I want to be with someone who is good for me but I also donāt want to break up and canāt tell if thatās the ocd using his faults against me. I feel like if I were to tell someone I have no feelings at all for him anymore Iād know Iād be lying and doesnāt feel right but when I say the opposite it doesnāt feel right either. Iām also worried that this time it is real and itās the guilt of not telling him thatās making the ocd worse not that itās just ROCD. My thoughts are also saying so many diff things Iām confused. It feels like I canāt connect to him anymore or like I donāt have empathy which scares me cause I know I did before and I felt it but is it just that Iām frustrated w some of the issues? But itās upsetting it feels like I donāt have the endearing feelings and love I felt and I want it to come back but then I also think I donāt cause then it will prevent be from seeing what else is out there And the thing is looking back on how it was I feel like I could def see how that was ocd but this is different⦠and like I at least felt I knew I loved him or wanted to be with him and i had thoughts of wanting to be with someone who this or someone who this but I didnāt actually want it and now it feels like this time I rly do mean it like I want to find better qualities but I still donāt wanna move on from him and my brain is like wel thatās how everyone feels when they breakup regardlessā¦it rly doesnāt feel like ocd anymore š and my thoughts keep saying if you donāt you donāt like this or that and it most likely wonāt change cause you have been with him so long why are you with him and then I feel guilty like I need to tell him
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