How do i deal with the shame from a real event, and the feeling that the people that loves me has to know about this event?

Understand the mindstate you were in. Most mistakes we make were from some level of ignorance which is why you're feeling the shame now because you understand your shortcomings. All you have to do is understand the nature of what you did, what consequences could come from it, and forgive and accept yourself for it. The reason you should forgive yourself is because the past no longer exists. It happened, it's over now, all you can do now is refrain from the same mistake which is more than enough. You don't need constant punishment, just end the cycle. No one has to know this because you're more than your mistakes. Your worst moments do not define your whole personhood. It only shows your ignorance at moments in your life. That doesn't say that much about you as a whole person. It's a very small part that you get to decide who does and doesn't hear and really no one HAS to. Your past is your past.