How do i deal with the shame from a real event, and the feeling that the people that loves me has to know about this event?

Understand the mindstate you were in. Most mistakes we make were from some level of ignorance which is why you're feeling the shame now because you understand your shortcomings. All you have to do is understand the nature of what you did, what consequences could come from it, and forgive and accept yourself for it. The reason you should forgive yourself is because the past no longer exists. It happened, it's over now, all you can do now is refrain from the same mistake which is more than enough. You don't need constant punishment, just end the cycle. No one has to know this because you're more than your mistakes. Your worst moments do not define your whole personhood. It only shows your ignorance at moments in your life. That doesn't say that much about you as a whole person. It's a very small part that you get to decide who does and doesn't hear and really no one HAS to. Your past is your past.

Thank you so much, this means so much to me. I’ve been struggeling with this for the last year in constant pain and my girlfriend just broke up with me. It’s been hell but I’m not giving up. Thank you so much!

@Helllloo You're welcome! I'm glad I could help. But never give up! You have a whole life to make it as beautiful and meaningful as possible.

@PRYM Thanks I’m never giving up!🧡

Ok this right here is gold. I have been struggling with the same issues and I am sure we aren’t alone in feeling this way. I feel like everyone I care about needs to know so they know the real whole me and can decide to not associate themselves with me. Plus the amount of shame and embarrassment over past mistakes can be so debilitating. What PRYM posted was so amazing to hear. I applaud you for this post.