Trigger warning-Arousal scenarios
So I get aroused fairly easily. My wife likes to make fun of me because I always get aroused when washing the dishes because the counter sits right at the perfect height and it pushes agains my groinal area. Sometimes just walking a certain way would cause it. Basically any sort of pressure.
The problem with this is when my (1 year old) son sits in my lap, or that area. Even just now I’m working from home, and my son loves to come in to my office and try to play with the computer keyboard because its a gaming keyboard and lights up. I let him sit on my lap, but I start to feel arousal. This was never a. Issue before pocd started about 6 months ago, it would happen all the time when feeding him or whatever. I NEVER thought twice about it because it was such a common occurrence. But now I just can’t shake the idea that maybe I’m actually sexually aroused by him sitting there 😞
I try to just brush it if and focus on the ERP, but it’s SO hard with this one. This is my son for f*ck sake! I freaking hate this disorder. It’s literally steal my joy of being a father.
Anyway I just wanted to vent. Not seeking reassurance as I know there is nothing anyone could say anyway that would make me feel any different.
But maybe there’s someone out there experiencing the same thing and will know they’re not alone.