slothlover
- Date posted
- 3y
slothloverslothlover
- Date posted
- 3y
It very much finds every little thing like if he looks neutral or doesn’t show much emotion I feel like he doesn’t like me
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
I was exactly like that. One day he gave more attentions to all his friends than me, and I was destroyed. But I used to get triggered even if he look at the phone while I am talking! If he doesn't sent the goodmorning/night text... for every little thing!!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to think these things a lot. Sounds like part of it can be ROCD, but also like you said people have different texting styles and some people just know how to communicate better in person
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey. I get you; really! I was there too! But what helped me, more than everything else, is understanding that "liking me or not" it's not my choice. I can't decide if he likes me, and I can't decide that he doesn't like me. Keep searching for hint, proofs, rassicuration, won't give you answers! And that's because we all have different ways to express love! Maby for you texting a lot means "I like you and I'm thinking at you" but for him chatting means nothing! There are a lot of way to express love! Quality time, acts of service, gifts, phisical touch... I used to confront my bf like "you did (or more often you didn't do) this, that is a proof that you are not in love with me right?" And the only conclusion of this kind of fight is taking distance You can't choose for him! But if he stay, it's because he keeps choosing you! Try to understand why that particular action bothered you! And than maby talk with your bf about the deepest motivation! An example: I love spending time with my bf. But sometimes he told me that he wants some days for studying. I used to take this rejection as a "I don't like you". But the real thing is that spending time togheter makes me feel wanted and connected, and i'm a little disappointed that he prefer studying than me. I talked with him about that, and we find a compromise!
slothloverslothlover
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel bad bringing it up bc Ik that’s just how he is and I shouldn’t be changing him and Ik it’s just my anxiety trying to make problems
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
Try to acknowledge why you feel like that! NOT why you get anxious uh! Try in the first place to recognise what emotion the "thing" that he did make you feel! (Emotions like sad, mad, overwhelmed; not perception like a failure, not loved etc) allow yourself to feel that emotions, but at the same time understand why the thing is important to you! Remember that feeling something different from "the sparkle" isn't a confirmation that it's the wrong relationship!! Love is a choice, we choose to stay, and that's it!
slothloverslothlover
- Date posted
- 3y
Wdym try to awknoledge why I feel like that ? Do you think he doesn’t like me I don’t understand ahha sorry
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
No no! Sorry I wasn't clear! Correct me If I'm wrong. He did something that can be normal for him, but you take that action ad a "maby he doesn't love me". The real question, is on yourself!! "Why do I need him to do that thing in a different way? To prove his love for me (reassurance seeking)?" In little words, how what he did makes you feel, and why for you is important! From my experience, take this example. One day we were watching a film. At a certain point, he started to look at his phone. My rocd started, and I arrived thinking "he must not like me anymore, he clearly doesn't want to be here, so we should broke up." So I got really anxious. BUT, analysing a situation from a different point, I can say that it makes me felt sad and a little disappointed: being present is my way to say I love you and it's really important for me because it means you care. In this therms, I realised that I was putting him up to an impossible standard (always present when we are togheter); and I was confusing delusion with "he doesn't like me" (it's okay to feel delusional sometimes! It doesn't mean nothing )
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