- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It very much finds every little thing like if he looks neutral or doesn’t show much emotion I feel like he doesn’t like me
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I was exactly like that. One day he gave more attentions to all his friends than me, and I was destroyed. But I used to get triggered even if he look at the phone while I am talking! If he doesn't sent the goodmorning/night text... for every little thing!!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I used to think these things a lot. Sounds like part of it can be ROCD, but also like you said people have different texting styles and some people just know how to communicate better in person
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey. I get you; really! I was there too! But what helped me, more than everything else, is understanding that "liking me or not" it's not my choice. I can't decide if he likes me, and I can't decide that he doesn't like me. Keep searching for hint, proofs, rassicuration, won't give you answers! And that's because we all have different ways to express love! Maby for you texting a lot means "I like you and I'm thinking at you" but for him chatting means nothing! There are a lot of way to express love! Quality time, acts of service, gifts, phisical touch... I used to confront my bf like "you did (or more often you didn't do) this, that is a proof that you are not in love with me right?" And the only conclusion of this kind of fight is taking distance You can't choose for him! But if he stay, it's because he keeps choosing you! Try to understand why that particular action bothered you! And than maby talk with your bf about the deepest motivation! An example: I love spending time with my bf. But sometimes he told me that he wants some days for studying. I used to take this rejection as a "I don't like you". But the real thing is that spending time togheter makes me feel wanted and connected, and i'm a little disappointed that he prefer studying than me. I talked with him about that, and we find a compromise!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel bad bringing it up bc Ik that’s just how he is and I shouldn’t be changing him and Ik it’s just my anxiety trying to make problems
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Try to acknowledge why you feel like that! NOT why you get anxious uh! Try in the first place to recognise what emotion the "thing" that he did make you feel! (Emotions like sad, mad, overwhelmed; not perception like a failure, not loved etc) allow yourself to feel that emotions, but at the same time understand why the thing is important to you! Remember that feeling something different from "the sparkle" isn't a confirmation that it's the wrong relationship!! Love is a choice, we choose to stay, and that's it!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Wdym try to awknoledge why I feel like that ? Do you think he doesn’t like me I don’t understand ahha sorry
- Date posted
- 3y ago
No no! Sorry I wasn't clear! Correct me If I'm wrong. He did something that can be normal for him, but you take that action ad a "maby he doesn't love me". The real question, is on yourself!! "Why do I need him to do that thing in a different way? To prove his love for me (reassurance seeking)?" In little words, how what he did makes you feel, and why for you is important! From my experience, take this example. One day we were watching a film. At a certain point, he started to look at his phone. My rocd started, and I arrived thinking "he must not like me anymore, he clearly doesn't want to be here, so we should broke up." So I got really anxious. BUT, analysing a situation from a different point, I can say that it makes me felt sad and a little disappointed: being present is my way to say I love you and it's really important for me because it means you care. In this therms, I realised that I was putting him up to an impossible standard (always present when we are togheter); and I was confusing delusion with "he doesn't like me" (it's okay to feel delusional sometimes! It doesn't mean nothing )
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
- Date posted
- 13w ago
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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