I use to think that: Every interaction with other person should be easy. And with easy, I mean without anxiety, stress, depression, the not right feeling etc. Especially for the relationship!! (To be clear, I'm not saying that a relationship it' always sparkle and glitter, absolutely not! It's okay to have bad moments) Deciding to stay in a relationship or not for people without rocd, is like asking if you want a glass of water! The answer is yes or no, without even thinking!! SO, before even try to understand if the thoughts are real or not, I know that if that thought made me anxious, sad, stressed etc, there is some rocd mechanism in function. And we all know! Don't take decisions while you are in a rocd circle!!
This helped me accepting uncertainty! I worked like that: I have a doubt, maby he doesn't send me the goodmorning text and ask myself if he still love me. -> I overanalize, but still can't find an answer. -> I get super anxious,-> at this point, I start to wonder what to do; becoming even more anxious. -> "oh I'm becoming really anxious " the realisation. "It must be rocd. And how do I fight rocd? Embracing uncertainty!! Maby is the wrong relationship, maby it is not and he is the love of my life." But I will find out, in a different moment, when I'm not in a rocd circle!!!
@eoid I always hate having that thought, the "maybe it's right maybe it's not" because it makes me panic of what if it's not and I also struggle with emotional numbness and it has been very difficult for me to connect with my partner and reach a state of "he's the one"
I’m the same way Sero82. Jon Grayson says for recovery’s sake, assume it’s ocd. It’s a mental disorder. Don’t focus on the content. This is NOT about your partner. This is your mind tricking you. I can turn the smallest things into mountains in the moment and I sabotage my relationship. In the end it’s ocd. You let the initial thought be there but stop the ruminating, the analytical thinking afterwards. You don’t problem solve. The initial thought will eventually float away if you don’t ruminate.
Sometimes he notices when I'm struggling and I hate hurting him :( he always tells me how he hates how he and he can't help me and I honestly don't know how to respond
@Sero82 Yeah it’s this battle in our head. What if the threat is real and I ignore it. What if the threat is not real and I believe it. A continuous loop
I been in a relationship with someone who I believe also has rocd. It's been very hard. It's on and off All the time. But there's also been abusive behavior and substance abuse. I'm not sure if we can get through it all. But it's like I want to, then I don't. I can't seem to ever make up my mind. Neither does he it seems. We're taking a break from it now. I just seem to want to all the sudden go see him alot. And it's distressing for both of us. And he never comes to me but seems he's glad when I go to him. Then when I leave I feel nervous cause I'm waiting for the text that he's not sure if he wants to keep our relationship. I'm so confused anymore!!
Reminds of my bf. He doesn’t want to leave but it hurts to be with me. He’ll say idk how to fix this or idk what to do anymore. It makes me sad. I’m in treatment and have been since August. It’s slow progress but my bf is being patient bc he does see a change. Your partner has to want to get better bc it’s so hard
Thank you for your support