Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
I understand your struggle. Everyday is a battle to stay alive. But hold onto hope. Remember what you value, even if it doesn’t feel like that’s what you want anymore. Trust me, I know the feeling. Believe you can do this.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
It just feels as tho I want to? And I have men in my head all the time. Its driving me nuts.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 Me too! It feels as though I want to act on my thoughts. I’m thinking about women all the damn time. Sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to say I’m bi. But When you check, and ruminate, and reassure, or whatever you do as compulsions..it’s only luring you more in. It’s going to feel more real. It’s going to become more confusing. I feel like I’m going nuts too, but just hold onto what you value. It’s going to be a hard ride, but I promise it will all be okay.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 I can't continue like this for the rest of my life. I would rather be dead. I've even said I would marry a man in my head. And know it just pops up know and then
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 It is difficult, I know. But you are not your thoughts or your feelings. I understand that feeling. I think about that frequently. Just like @Bookworm91 said, hang in there! You are stronger than this. I promise you🤣
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 I’m sorry to bother you I don’t wanna come across like I’m stalking you or anything I’m just really scared and some of the other people I speak to about things that concern me aren’t around right now. I went to the laundry room to put some stuff in the wash and some woman was there in front of the first washer because there’s three total. And an acted like I do and I’m frightened I nodded and I said I am I don’t wanna be OK with it I don’t wanna be open I don’t wanna squeeze boobs I don’t wanna make out with her I said it’s not but it does feel bad how can I say it’s not that bad when it is I don’t really feel anything except maybe like emptiness on the inside surrounded by tension it is that bad I don’t wanna do anything with boobs and I can’t stop every time I try to imagine making out with a guy my hand goes out like I do but I don’t wanna squeeze boobs and I don’t like looking at a woman saying that’s not pretending what it would be that bad I keep some scared it’s not in for me like what does it say about me then I’m not and say I am when I’m not OK with it I don’t wanna squeeze boobs I don’t wanna be OK with that I keep saying it’s not it is that bad it doesn’t feel like anything/it doesn’t feel good at the same time did you know what I mean
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I have those intrusive thoughts too, all the time!! You aren’t alone. Let the thoughts pass by without labeling them as good or bad. Give them room in your mind. And remember, accepting thoughts doesn’t mean agreeing with the thoughts. I’m learning too!!
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 So is accepting and agreeing with the thoughts the same thing ?
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 No, accepting the thoughts and agreeing with the thoughts are two different things. With OCD, we need to learn to accept the thoughts. Meaning, allowing them to be there and accepting their presence. Allowing that space for them. It feels very unnatural at the beginning, you’ll feel a lot of resistance but in the long run, it is worth it. Accepting the thoughts to be there DOES NOT mean you agree with them:)
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 And I’m still learning the same thing!!
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 Thanks for your help. I had an OK day. And soon as i was on my own thoughts start spiralling. Why do thoughts dissappear when I drink alcohol? X
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 I’m the same way, whenever I drink I feel 100000% okay. It’s so weird, but obviously, the next day is also really bad. Yup, whenever I’m on my own my thoughts spiral, but also whenever I’m around people all I want to do is be alone so I can “think my thoughts” you know?
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m having issues with this as well. Hang in there!
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 23w
Am I even straight anymore?
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
xoxoacid
- Date posted
- 23w
How do I get rid of these thoughts or calm down
I've been really overwhelmed with thoughts of detransitioning even though I don't want to like thinking I'm not a boy. It's been making my anxiety go up like crazy but I've never had this problem this much before, and I've always felt so proud of who I was and stuff but I don't know why this is coming up all of a sudden and I'm scared. I don't want to detransition but these thoughts won't go away. I often have feminine interests and have been trying to get into a better mindset and I feel like those things are making me feel more feminine and I don't want to feel that way.
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 19w
soocd
just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going
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