Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
I understand your struggle. Everyday is a battle to stay alive. But hold onto hope. Remember what you value, even if it doesn’t feel like that’s what you want anymore. Trust me, I know the feeling. Believe you can do this.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
It just feels as tho I want to? And I have men in my head all the time. Its driving me nuts.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 Me too! It feels as though I want to act on my thoughts. I’m thinking about women all the damn time. Sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to say I’m bi. But When you check, and ruminate, and reassure, or whatever you do as compulsions..it’s only luring you more in. It’s going to feel more real. It’s going to become more confusing. I feel like I’m going nuts too, but just hold onto what you value. It’s going to be a hard ride, but I promise it will all be okay.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 I can't continue like this for the rest of my life. I would rather be dead. I've even said I would marry a man in my head. And know it just pops up know and then
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 It is difficult, I know. But you are not your thoughts or your feelings. I understand that feeling. I think about that frequently. Just like @Bookworm91 said, hang in there! You are stronger than this. I promise you🤣
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 I’m sorry to bother you I don’t wanna come across like I’m stalking you or anything I’m just really scared and some of the other people I speak to about things that concern me aren’t around right now. I went to the laundry room to put some stuff in the wash and some woman was there in front of the first washer because there’s three total. And an acted like I do and I’m frightened I nodded and I said I am I don’t wanna be OK with it I don’t wanna be open I don’t wanna squeeze boobs I don’t wanna make out with her I said it’s not but it does feel bad how can I say it’s not that bad when it is I don’t really feel anything except maybe like emptiness on the inside surrounded by tension it is that bad I don’t wanna do anything with boobs and I can’t stop every time I try to imagine making out with a guy my hand goes out like I do but I don’t wanna squeeze boobs and I don’t like looking at a woman saying that’s not pretending what it would be that bad I keep some scared it’s not in for me like what does it say about me then I’m not and say I am when I’m not OK with it I don’t wanna squeeze boobs I don’t wanna be OK with that I keep saying it’s not it is that bad it doesn’t feel like anything/it doesn’t feel good at the same time did you know what I mean
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I have those intrusive thoughts too, all the time!! You aren’t alone. Let the thoughts pass by without labeling them as good or bad. Give them room in your mind. And remember, accepting thoughts doesn’t mean agreeing with the thoughts. I’m learning too!!
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 So is accepting and agreeing with the thoughts the same thing ?
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 No, accepting the thoughts and agreeing with the thoughts are two different things. With OCD, we need to learn to accept the thoughts. Meaning, allowing them to be there and accepting their presence. Allowing that space for them. It feels very unnatural at the beginning, you’ll feel a lot of resistance but in the long run, it is worth it. Accepting the thoughts to be there DOES NOT mean you agree with them:)
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 And I’m still learning the same thing!!
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 Thanks for your help. I had an OK day. And soon as i was on my own thoughts start spiralling. Why do thoughts dissappear when I drink alcohol? X
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ihateocd83 I’m the same way, whenever I drink I feel 100000% okay. It’s so weird, but obviously, the next day is also really bad. Yup, whenever I’m on my own my thoughts spiral, but also whenever I’m around people all I want to do is be alone so I can “think my thoughts” you know?
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m having issues with this as well. Hang in there!
Related posts
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 22w
soocd
just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going
What is happ...
- Date posted
- 22w
Questions… I don’t want reassurance just advice
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
leum
- Date posted
- 19w
struggling/rant
I want to get thought this weird horrible period, it has been horrible. I am doubting everything. I’m not diagnosed but when I look at my past I’ve always been horribly anxious and worrying about health, death and basically everything while suffering from major a lot of insecurities stemming from bullying and lately a lack of intimacy with my partner, Every time I think I’m on the way out, or see some light at the end of the tunnel my mind always pulls me back in. It’s torture. I’ve always been insecure about how I look and I find myself comparing myself at other males and it’s made my self esteem on the floor. I have a girlfriend and prior to this we had a future planned and talked about kids (we’re still young, but it felt so real), this all began to bubble when we stopped being intimate and the loss of my job. I don’t know anymore how to move on, every day feels like a chore. The intrusive thoughts telling me I’m in denial, constantly thinking about men I’ve felt insecure about their looks compared to mine wishing I looked like them plaguing my mind. The false attractions, prior to this i was comfortable in acknowledging good looking men. However now my mind takes this as evidence, every single thing in my past seems like some form of evidence. Not having male friends, the comparisons, being questioned about my sexuality from siblings. I’m sorry if this is reassurance, I am just needing to get some things of my chest. Every time I think about my first real attraction or girls I found pretty/attractive or I liked my mind is like your in denial and then I feel horrible about thinking those thoughts as I have my girlfriend. I miss just being with my girlfriend and not having these thoughts and feeling horrible. I feel like a fraud and a horrible partner. I’ve tried to accept maybe, maybe not, but something always comes back. These 4 months have been terrible. I want to sleep without horrible dreams, I want to eat. I want to feel like myself again. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Hope you’re strong too.
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