I think I need to accept this. Too many signs and urges. A pretty girl would definitely make me nervous if she was flirting with me like in the scene of this show I watched. I feel very sad and scared and alone but I don’t think this is just soocd anymore

I don’t want to be with a female but there’s so much proof I can’t let go of. All I want to do is cry. I lost my appetite again.

I have too much proof as well and it feels like I do want to be with a female. Very heartbreaking

@PinkLotus I read a post with a lesbian who made the Sims females make out and I did that weird stuff and now I’m back to not being okay. All I want to do is cry and curl up in a ball

@OCD33 I’m scared that I have to leave my boyfriend and explore girls when I go to college next semester. I’m so scared

@PinkLotus I think I might’ve done that on sims too. I can’t remember if I actually did it or if it’s a false memory. If it was real, I wonder if I did it bc I’m a lesbian in denial or if I had an intrusive thought to do it and that’s why I did it?? Idk

@Ape1993 Do you want to be with a female?

@Ape1993 Well this triggered me big time. I have no idea

@OCD33 I’m so sorry!

@Ape1993 This triggered me too!! I just want to say that as kids we may have done things, like for me, I was introduced to porn at a young age and I’ve always enjoyed girls in porn. Although, I’ve always identified as a straight woman. It’s completely NORMAL to be straight and enjoy same sex porn. It’s NORMAL to be curious, after all, we are human. I understand your point, however, that can be very triggering for people who suffer with this disorder.

@linds💕 Hi Linds - I totally understand. I deleted it and I’m sorry for the trigger. I’m struggling and I don’t mean to make it any worse for others by adding a TW comment.

@Ape1993 It is completely okay! I promise!! We’re all learning here:) I’ve been there, done that. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling as well. Is there anything we can be there for you for?:)

@linds💕 Thanks 😣 I don’t think so at the time, just relating to these posts and trying to keep in mind I’m not alone. Thank you, super appreciate this community.

@Ape1993 You are NEVER alone!

Hi:) I’ve seen your posts before and I just want to say, I understand your struggle. I have so much proof too, I won’t get into it, but, it feels so real and unbearable at times. It feels like I should just accept it. My best advice for you, is to hold onto what you’ve always valued, whatever that may be. Like for me, I’ve always dreamt of having a family, and a husband. With soocd it twists that and makes me think I want it with a woman. For you, maybe you really want to become the next best artist. Or maybe you really love plants, or maybe you really love I don’t know, cooking. Whatever your values are, hold onto that. I know that with OCD it can make us feel like our values have changed, that they’ve shifted in some way. However, that’s not the case. There’s a Taylor swift song that says “who you are is not what you did, you’re still an innocent” (innocent by Taylor swift) and it’s really helped me. Even though I struggle immensely everyday. Stay with your boyfriend. This will get better, it will be okay, and it will fall into place. I’m here if you need to talk💓I understand immensely.

Can I talk with you as well? I was doing okay but the things I did as a kid make it feel so real :/ I’m engaged and this is breaking my heart

Thank you for the advice 🤍unfortunately it just doesn’t feel like I have any values anymore. They feel so twisted and I have so many “urges” and “desires”, when I put myself into scenarios it feels like I would enjoy them and I want them. Even my memories have become twisted and I’m convinced I have always felt this way about women. I don’t know what I want anymore, I really want to be with my boyfriend but saying that feels like a lie. Those are amazing lyrics tho

@PinkLotus Yes me too!! I get those urges and desires too. All. The. Time. I feel so far from my values and who I was, or am. I have a boyfriend too and I love being with him and it feels like such a lie TOO, even saying I love you is hard because of this. But, something I’m working on, is continuing to do those things. Say I love you, be with him, do those things with him, and allow space for these thoughts and urges. I’m learning it too, you got this. I know it’s hard.

@OCD33 Yes!! I’ve done things as a kid too that makes it feel so real. Congratulations on your engagement 💓 I know how difficult soocd can be.

I feel this too much. I don’t want to be with a girl 😭, I’m scared I’m not going to have feelings for guys anymore. It hurts a lot. Why does OCD feels too real, I feel very afraid. My heart is also breaking.

Super relatable, it feels like I already lost any feelings for guys. I just feel very numb and sad like there’s no point in being me when i lost everything I thought I wanted