PinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
꒰ ¨̮͚ ꒱ EresPandulce♡ ᕱ⑅ᕱ꒰ ¨̮͚ ꒱ EresPa...
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this too much. I don’t want to be with a girl 😭, I’m scared I’m not going to have feelings for guys anymore. It hurts a lot. Why does OCD feels too real, I feel very afraid. My heart is also breaking.
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
Super relatable, it feels like I already lost any feelings for guys. I just feel very numb and sad like there’s no point in being me when i lost everything I thought I wanted
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi:) I’ve seen your posts before and I just want to say, I understand your struggle. I have so much proof too, I won’t get into it, but, it feels so real and unbearable at times. It feels like I should just accept it. My best advice for you, is to hold onto what you’ve always valued, whatever that may be. Like for me, I’ve always dreamt of having a family, and a husband. With soocd it twists that and makes me think I want it with a woman. For you, maybe you really want to become the next best artist. Or maybe you really love plants, or maybe you really love I don’t know, cooking. Whatever your values are, hold onto that. I know that with OCD it can make us feel like our values have changed, that they’ve shifted in some way. However, that’s not the case. There’s a Taylor swift song that says “who you are is not what you did, you’re still an innocent” (innocent by Taylor swift) and it’s really helped me. Even though I struggle immensely everyday. Stay with your boyfriend. This will get better, it will be okay, and it will fall into place. I’m here if you need to talk💓I understand immensely.
OCD33OCD33
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Can I talk with you as well? I was doing okay but the things I did as a kid make it feel so real :/ I’m engaged and this is breaking my heart
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for the advice 🤍unfortunately it just doesn’t feel like I have any values anymore. They feel so twisted and I have so many “urges” and “desires”, when I put myself into scenarios it feels like I would enjoy them and I want them. Even my memories have become twisted and I’m convinced I have always felt this way about women. I don’t know what I want anymore, I really want to be with my boyfriend but saying that feels like a lie. Those are amazing lyrics tho
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Yes me too!! I get those urges and desires too. All. The. Time. I feel so far from my values and who I was, or am. I have a boyfriend too and I love being with him and it feels like such a lie TOO, even saying I love you is hard because of this. But, something I’m working on, is continuing to do those things. Say I love you, be with him, do those things with him, and allow space for these thoughts and urges. I’m learning it too, you got this. I know it’s hard.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCD33 Yes!! I’ve done things as a kid too that makes it feel so real. Congratulations on your engagement 💓 I know how difficult soocd can be.
OCD33OCD33
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t want to be with a female but there’s so much proof I can’t let go of. All I want to do is cry. I lost my appetite again.
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
I have too much proof as well and it feels like I do want to be with a female. Very heartbreaking
OCD33OCD33
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus I read a post with a lesbian who made the Sims females make out and I did that weird stuff and now I’m back to not being okay. All I want to do is cry and curl up in a ball
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCD33 I’m scared that I have to leave my boyfriend and explore girls when I go to college next semester. I’m so scared
Ape1993Ape1993
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus I think I might’ve done that on sims too. I can’t remember if I actually did it or if it’s a false memory. If it was real, I wonder if I did it bc I’m a lesbian in denial or if I had an intrusive thought to do it and that’s why I did it?? Idk
OCD33OCD33
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ape1993 Do you want to be with a female?
OCD33OCD33
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ape1993 Well this triggered me big time. I have no idea
Ape1993Ape1993
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCD33 I’m so sorry!
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ape1993 This triggered me too!! I just want to say that as kids we may have done things, like for me, I was introduced to porn at a young age and I’ve always enjoyed girls in porn. Although, I’ve always identified as a straight woman. It’s completely NORMAL to be straight and enjoy same sex porn. It’s NORMAL to be curious, after all, we are human. I understand your point, however, that can be very triggering for people who suffer with this disorder.
Ape1993Ape1993
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 Hi Linds - I totally understand. I deleted it and I’m sorry for the trigger. I’m struggling and I don’t mean to make it any worse for others by adding a TW comment.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ape1993 It is completely okay! I promise!! We’re all learning here:) I’ve been there, done that. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling as well. Is there anything we can be there for you for?:)
Ape1993Ape1993
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 Thanks 😣 I don’t think so at the time, just relating to these posts and trying to keep in mind I’m not alone. Thank you, super appreciate this community.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ape1993 You are NEVER alone!
Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
Same, it genuienly feels real for me im in therapy but I dont see the point in continuing anylonger
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel so different from others
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 24w
Triggered
I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel like this is it
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
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