- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hmm I see, I think these feelings of regret are normal, especially if you have been blocked. I think it’s because of the block really. Hear me out, if he hadn’t blocked you, would you be feeling this much regret? Because if you’re anything like me, when i’ve been blocked, it makes me feel even worse because it’s opened that wound of rejection and nobody likes rejection, it stings like a bitch. It’s touching that wound that he’s not hurt and you’re more hurt than him. That he doesn’t care as much as you did etc. From what you’ve said, it seems like by you breaking up, you did do the best thing for you, I think with him not properly being as invested and not supporting you wasn’t helping you at all and it got too much for you. You aren’t to blame for that.
- Date posted
- 3y
I also think you are in panic mode, not knowing how to cope in this moment in time so you are clinging for dear life trying to get the only comfort you know- through him. I mean he has been a great part of your life for 3 years but this is the time for you to be alone. To realise you can be on your own. Maybe this is a test to see if you really can sit with those uncomfortable feelings and manage them without his presence. It’s not easy at all when you haven’t built that skill of being alone. Hence why you must build it. Otherwise, do you always want to rely on someone else to feel happy? To feel loved? To feel okay? it isn’t self sufficient or healthy to NEED him to do that for you. Yes we depend on others, it is natural, but if it’s based on needing him because you can’t do it for yourself it can become problematic because even if your logical brain knows he isn’t good for you, your emotional brain will want to stick with him and so the unhappiness and resentment will continue. This is so much easier said than done as rn you are in a state of shock and panic so please acknowledge this. That rn you will be irrational and not make the best of choices.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for this!!! Now that you mention it I did feel calmer when he unblocked me but he blocked me again and the regret just came flashing back. I hope I can learn to cope without him and learn. I appreciate your advice!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay can I first ask why people were telling you to break it off with him?
- Date posted
- 3y
There was this situation where me and him were being intimate and it was in the middle of the night I woke up to him doing stuff me I liked it but was caught completely off guard and it caused me to feel a type of way towards him. It cause me to have intrusive thoughts and caused me to overthink so much I started medication. They don’t know about the intrusive thoughts. He really wasn’t there for me and I felt like I kept trying make him feel comfortable when he wasn’t doing the same for me. We talked and it didn’t help. It was really difficult for me to be intimate with him cause I had fear and it didn’t feel right. I just kept pushing until I just couldn’t take it no more and I completely stopped. I started to evaluate our relationship as a whole and felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted. We said we would work on it but shortly after I just began to realize we needed to break up because I care more about him than me. It’s just really sad because I love him and I would have never thought we would break up but here we are. He was literally my best friend and it feels like a mistake and I need to go back and try again and give him more opportunities
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous:,( Sorry to write my whole life story but essentially my friends said I needed to put me first. Worry about myself and mental health. I just feel afraid and I want to go back to him but I know if I go back those feelings of fear my body gets and resentment will be there. I wish we could be friends but he doesn’t want too. So I’m blocked. I told my friends I felt like I made the wrong decision. They said I had more than enough time to figure out and clear my head as to what I want to do but I still feel confused and I don’t think I’ll ever have clarity. I just don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship and love someone truly
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve had relationship OCD for about five months now and it’s been excruciating, I know it’s relationship OCD but my brain can’t grasp it, I was doing very well for about a week a few days or a week. It’s about the only amount of time where I feel that sense of clarity or almost back to normal definitely not normal but life seems pleasant again. I made a bad mistake. I was with my friend on a sleepover and we decided that we wanted to eat some good food and be stoned because we enjoy eating food and being stoned since it tastes much better, no I believe this just made it worse. I know that weed can be worse for some people. It can make them overthink and I think it’s triggered me to relapse, because my worries and intrusive thoughts are about something so much more worrying in a way and it feels so much more real, I guess I’m hyper focusing on every single thing about my partner’s personality every floor and everything he doesn’t do, and my brain is telling me that means I should break up with him, ”if he dosent do this this means the relationship isn’t right” “ or anything happens my brain will tell me that I’m losing interest or losing feelings and I get many intrusive statements. Like “you like being single more” literally any time I’m enjoying myself alone And I’m getting many that don’t make sense “he doesn’t accept you for who you are so that means that you need to break up” over an interest that we both have…… And it’s so frustrating because any time I talk to him about anything serious or obviously I’m not happy about something because that’s normal in relationships not everyone is gonna do everything right so you have to communicate it but then I could get intense urge to break up and it makes me upset, or when I’m trying to tell him how I feel my brain will just say that I need to break up it’s honestly so confusing and I’m falling back into the compulsions and reassurance seeking all over again and my brain is making me believe it’s not relationship OCD because what if it’s not relationship OCD and it’s actually not the right relationship for me? But I don’t want it to be that I love him so much and I honestly can’t imagine not being with him. It’s so confusing and my head hurts and I just need someone to talk to.
- Date posted
- 17w
I really need help. My brain is torturing me right now. Basically me and my boyfriend went through a really rough patch and he wasn’t communicating what was wrong and I started to just lose feelings and not feel how I used to which was the most upsetting thing because I swear we are soulmates. Anyway so we broke up for like a day before he realized he’s really sad without me and he is finally willing to work on communication and our issues and this is the most I’ve really ever felt he notices it this time. I am supposed to go see him and he is so excited and I’m freaking out. I want to see him but I keep thinking how it’s triggering for me cause I don’t want to go back to that rough patch cause it lasted a long time. I want to try again but I also feel like it’s easier to just run away from everything. It feels like I got to know his personality but that isn’t fair to say because now he’s aware and wants to change. I’m scared because I know feelings can come back and I hope mine can cause right now I just keep replaying the past and the bad stuff. He seems really willing to work on it this time which should make me so happy but I’m also so scared things will go back to how they were and I’m worried if I’m this anxious my body is telling me he isn’t right for me and that it’s not ocd which would really upset me because I’ve had such hope. I know my feelings started to go away but that’s cause of how we were to each other and now we are aware of the problem. Does it mean I shouldn’t be with him if the thought of trying again makes me so anxious or is that just the fear? I wish this wanting to work through things happened before I felt like this and now I’m scared I won’t get it back. I’m also scared that there is someone out there better for me and by being with him I’m blocking that. But the thought of being without him makes me so sad. I want to try to see him differently and maybe see it’s different but I’m scared it’s not. I’m afraid of a million things. What if it’s too late and I can’t get my feelings back? What if I’m forever anxious around him? What if being with him prevents me from meeting other people? I haven’t seen him in a while cause he was away and people say I won’t know how I feel till I see him. It feels like once I get there I already know though that I’ll have the same thoughts and won’t be able to get back to how I felt because it became uncomfortable but I’ve heard I’m anticipating it. I’m scared it’s gut and not ocd
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond