Haven’t been here in a while. I’m wondering if this is RELATIONSHIP OCD or just a regular kinda thought process. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I just regret it and keep replaying what happened and it feels like I made a mistake and want him back. I’m kinda panicking he was my best friend. Now he’s blocked me in everything. I just keep thinking about how I should go back to him and that my feeling will change and I’ll go back to loving him. I feel like I only broke up with him cause everyone was telling me I should. I did it because I also felt like it would be okay because someday it felt like I loved him romantically and other days I didn’t. We both acknowledge our relationship wasn’t the same but I kept trying to make it work and ignore the feeling but we broke up now I’m here panicking leaving him messages and voicemails. I took him for granted and I just want him back.

"Pure" OCD

Redyroo

Date posted: 3y

Hmm I see, I think these feelings of regret are normal, especially if you have been blocked. I think it’s because of the block really. Hear me out, if he hadn’t blocked you, would you be feeling this much regret? Because if you’re anything like me, when i’ve been blocked, it makes me feel even worse because it’s opened that wound of rejection and nobody likes rejection, it stings like a bitch. It’s touching that wound that he’s not hurt and you’re more hurt than him. That he doesn’t care as much as you did etc. From what you’ve said, it seems like by you breaking up, you did do the best thing for you, I think with him not properly being as invested and not supporting you wasn’t helping you at all and it got too much for you. You aren’t to blame for that.

Redyroo

Date posted: 3y

I also think you are in panic mode, not knowing how to cope in this moment in time so you are clinging for dear life trying to get the only comfort you know- through him. I mean he has been a great part of your life for 3 years but this is the time for you to be alone. To realise you can be on your own. Maybe this is a test to see if you really can sit with those uncomfortable feelings and manage them without his presence. It’s not easy at all when you haven’t built that skill of being alone. Hence why you must build it. Otherwise, do you always want to rely on someone else to feel happy? To feel loved? To feel okay? it isn’t self sufficient or healthy to NEED him to do that for you. Yes we depend on others, it is natural, but if it’s based on needing him because you can’t do it for yourself it can become problematic because even if your logical brain knows he isn’t good for you, your emotional brain will want to stick with him and so the unhappiness and resentment will continue. This is so much easier said than done as rn you are in a state of shock and panic so please acknowledge this. That rn you will be irrational and not make the best of choices.

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 3y

Thank you for this!!! Now that you mention it I did feel calmer when he unblocked me but he blocked me again and the regret just came flashing back. I hope I can learn to cope without him and learn. I appreciate your advice!!!

Redyroo

Date posted: 3y

Okay can I first ask why people were telling you to break it off with him?

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 3y

There was this situation where me and him were being intimate and it was in the middle of the night I woke up to him doing stuff me I liked it but was caught completely off guard and it caused me to feel a type of way towards him. It cause me to have intrusive thoughts and caused me to overthink so much I started medication. They don’t know about the intrusive thoughts. He really wasn’t there for me and I felt like I kept trying make him feel comfortable when he wasn’t doing the same for me. We talked and it didn’t help. It was really difficult for me to be intimate with him cause I had fear and it didn’t feel right. I just kept pushing until I just couldn’t take it no more and I completely stopped. I started to evaluate our relationship as a whole and felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted. We said we would work on it but shortly after I just began to realize we needed to break up because I care more about him than me. It’s just really sad because I love him and I would have never thought we would break up but here we are. He was literally my best friend and it feels like a mistake and I need to go back and try again and give him more opportunities

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous:,( Sorry to write my whole life story but essentially my friends said I needed to put me first. Worry about myself and mental health. I just feel afraid and I want to go back to him but I know if I go back those feelings of fear my body gets and resentment will be there. I wish we could be friends but he doesn’t want too. So I’m blocked. I told my friends I felt like I made the wrong decision. They said I had more than enough time to figure out and clear my head as to what I want to do but I still feel confused and I don’t think I’ll ever have clarity. I just don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship and love someone truly

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