I am in a very strange place where I don’t even get relief from my compulsions as I test for groinal responses it continues to feed the obsession I don’t even get temporary relief it’s 24 hours constant pain

The ocd wants you to stay in bed. It wants you to stay in a tortured state because it wants to convince you that what you’re thinking is very very wrong. If you defy this, you’ll begin to convince it otherwise. I’m so sorry this is so painful for you right now. Nothing lasts forever.

Thanks

Is there anything you can eat that doesn’t upset your stomach? I eat a lot of carrots when I lose my appetite due to anxiety because they are super light. You’re main goal is reigning back the anxiety- and I know it can be so so so very hard.

I just wish there was more scientific research on grojnal responses and anxiety responses

I had a week of that once. I did too many compulsions that stopped working and I was spiraling. When they worked, they convinced you that your thoughts weren’t true, so obviously when they stop working you’re going to believe that they are true. This is why testing and compulsions are a horrendous idea. I understand the terrible pain you’re in right now. Usually when this happens to me, I do as many things that I can to cope with the anxiety. Something active to engage some endorphins, eat a favorite meal of mine, watch a favorite show, even smile for no reason because that can trick your brain into thinking everything is okay. You are still going to have doubt and intrusive thoughts while you’re doing this but at this point it is in your best interest to look at them and think- “well. okay then.” Don’t FEEL anything about them. They don’t deserve feelings. They are just passing along, making their way through your brain. You can’t stop them from existing, you can only stop making them mean anything. Inherently- they mean nothing!

I can’t watch shows I can’t do anything remotely productive or entertaining. Sometimes I don’t eat I can’t get out of bed because I feel like I’ve done something very wrong and it will keep playing in the back of my head. Torture

Yesterday I stayed in my bed for 2 days

This is just a bad spell. If the thoughts come over and over again, don’t think “no no no not this again”. Welcome them, let them pass, and watch them leave. (The most important thing to recognize here is that THEY ARE ALL SIMPLY THOUGHTS- takes awhile for me to remember haha) I know it’s excruciating, but you have the control to walk it back and stand up to the monster. There will be better days my friend.

Your ocd wants there to be more scientific research because that will help you come to a conclusion about what’s going on. You don’t need that! You should definitely stay away from that:) You need to focus on not assigning meaning to a groinal response, or anxiety response. Those happen simply because they do- not because they are signifiers of any truth.

Erections/semis happen because of arousal... it’s science... it’s logic.. you wouldn’t get A semi/erection if you didn’t enjoy it or was attracted to it

We actually get sexual responses like those to ANYTHING sexual! You don’t have to want it or enjoy it. We are just sexual beings:)

I don’t want to be reassuring here because that will not help you in the long run, just remember to never assign meaning to anything!

I know it is extremely painful, but don’t feel alone!

It’s a bit of a coincidence how it happens when I’m testing for it using gay porn isn’t it

I’m a female so you could probably educate me on this, but don’t men get erections for absolutely no reason? It ranges from literally no reason, to sexual arousal and everywhere in between. It’s not the fact that it is there that is the problem- it’s the way you interpret it. Testing with porn will not help you:( This isn’t exactly the best thing to do, but here is an article that can explain it more clearly to you. Disclaimer- don’t read this article and think “phew! Now I KNOW I’m not gay because it says that it doesn’t mean I’m gay”. You should take the information in the article and be able to say “Now I understand that groinal responses happen all the time for varying reasons, however i’m not gonna use this to come to a conclusion about ANYTHING”. I know it sounds impossible and so counterintuitive but the goal here is to be able to think a thought/ have a response and not have an anxiety spike that will in turn attach meaning. If anyone feels uncomfortable or triggered with me posting an article, please let me know and I will take it down immediately. I know how easy it is to fall for the reassurance/compulsion bait and I would hate for this to happen to anyone. https://www.ocdbaltimore.com/hocd-sexual-orientation-ocd-groinal-response/