A thought I struggle with a lot is the future regarding my relationship. I am pretty young, 18, and I just graduated highschool and starting Uni in September. My college is only 25 minutes away from my house, but I struggle with the intrusive thought that because I am so young and there is so much I still have ahead of me, that my relationship is inevitably temporary and something in life will eventually take it away from me... even though the relationship is very solid. I know this is rediculous considering there is not going to be distance between me and him, but it feels like Im fighting an impossible battle sometimes and I dont want my relationship to have to end because of life's bad timing and circumstances. I couldnt imagine being with anyone else. Idk how to cope with this thought sometimes and its ruining my morning.

Relationship OCD

Rasmus

Date posted: 6y

Trying to escape the anxious uncertainty is what makes the OCD cycle going. Also, at the end of the day it isn't the fact that you're going to be together forever that makes your relationship amazing, it is that you are together NOW! Live mindfully in the present, and if you do, IF there's a time you actually want to break up, you both will accept it, because living mindfully won't take you somewhere you regret. I hope this last thing doesn't trigger you ✨

you.are.enough

Date posted: 6y

I feel for you. I agree with the others: As difficult as it is, you must accept uncertainty & appreciate what you have right now. The future doesn't exist yet, and it is not even guaranteed. Worrying about the future will only ruin the present. It sounds like you are really happy in your relationship. That is amazing! Enjoy your relationship and allow it to blossom even more! There are no "shoulds" or rules when it comes to relationships, especially once the couple is transitioning from high school to college. OCD tries to make us believe we should do things, even though we genuinely don't want to. And OCD is unfortunately very convincing. But we don't have to listen to it! I'm also struggling with not worrying about the future & accepting uncertainty, especially in terms of my relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to about ROCD, I'm here for you.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 6y

Thanks so much:) That helped a lot. I always tell myself that nothing HAS to change and at least we arent doing long distance so maybe the change will be fun for us. I mean positive outcomes are possible too. Hes really a great guy. And thank you you too, Im always willing to listen !

Cjs2496

Date posted: 6y

I have been with this person for a little over a year, but it has gotten to the point where I obsess about the possibility of it ending.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 6y

It doesnt, I just dont want it to HAVE to end just because of where we are at now.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 6y

if that makes sense

Pineapple

Date posted: 6y

Surely this won’t be what you want to hear, but I will be honest with you instead of providing reassurance. A year is not that long of a time to be with someone. Typically, you have to be with someone for several years to really know who they are as a person. 18 is relatively young, but being young is not a reason in and of itself for a relationship not to work out. Relationships of people who are older than you of course do not always work out either. Age is not the determining factor by itself. Things change, feelings change, people grow, people change. The fact that many things in life are finite isn’t something you should worry about or fear, it just gives you all the more reason to enjoy and value what you have now. Don’t take people for granted because they may not always be there. Maybe you will be together for a long time, maybe you won’t. Try to accept that uncertainty even though it is hard.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 6y

Thank you for that, I know that there is a possibility of us splitting like anyone else, but sometimes I obsess that age and timing is the eventually going to break us. He is my best friend too, I dont want to ever lose that.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 6y

Basically I just would like to think we have a chance in spite of all this

tommih

Date posted: 24w

Relationship OCD

I’m obsessing over the future and if my boyfriend and I are going to make it. I know it’s ocd because the thought won’t leave. Discussing the future with my boyfriend makes him very stressed because he is in a difficult family situation. I’m trying my hardest to be patient but I need reassurance that there is a plan and timeline in place. We have been dating for almost two years and I’m not ready to live together but I like discussing it and knowing there’s some form of plan. My ocd gets bad when there is no plan. Are there any thoughts or tips to help?

Doopydoowa

Date posted: 14w

Please help-relationship advice

Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.

Relationship OCD

naiad

Date posted: 13w

Relationship OCD

Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(

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