A thought I struggle with a lot is the future regarding my relationship. I am pretty young, 18, and I just graduated highschool and starting Uni in September. My college is only 25 minutes away from my house, but I struggle with the intrusive thought that because I am so young and there is so much I still have ahead of me, that my relationship is inevitably temporary and something in life will eventually take it away from me... even though the relationship is very solid. I know this is rediculous considering there is not going to be distance between me and him, but it feels like Im fighting an impossible battle sometimes and I dont want my relationship to have to end because of life's bad timing and circumstances. I couldnt imagine being with anyone else. Idk how to cope with this thought sometimes and its ruining my morning.

Relationship OCD

Rasmus

Date posted: 5y ago

Trying to escape the anxious uncertainty is what makes the OCD cycle going. Also, at the end of the day it isn't the fact that you're going to be together forever that makes your relationship amazing, it is that you are together NOW! Live mindfully in the present, and if you do, IF there's a time you actually want to break up, you both will accept it, because living mindfully won't take you somewhere you regret. I hope this last thing doesn't trigger you ✨

you.are.enough

Date posted: 5y ago

I feel for you. I agree with the others: As difficult as it is, you must accept uncertainty & appreciate what you have right now. The future doesn't exist yet, and it is not even guaranteed. Worrying about the future will only ruin the present. It sounds like you are really happy in your relationship. That is amazing! Enjoy your relationship and allow it to blossom even more! There are no "shoulds" or rules when it comes to relationships, especially once the couple is transitioning from high school to college. OCD tries to make us believe we should do things, even though we genuinely don't want to. And OCD is unfortunately very convincing. But we don't have to listen to it! I'm also struggling with not worrying about the future & accepting uncertainty, especially in terms of my relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to about ROCD, I'm here for you.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 5y ago

Thanks so much:) That helped a lot. I always tell myself that nothing HAS to change and at least we arent doing long distance so maybe the change will be fun for us. I mean positive outcomes are possible too. Hes really a great guy. And thank you you too, Im always willing to listen !

Cjs2496

Date posted: 5y ago

I have been with this person for a little over a year, but it has gotten to the point where I obsess about the possibility of it ending.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 5y ago

It doesnt, I just dont want it to HAVE to end just because of where we are at now.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 5y ago

if that makes sense

Pineapple

Date posted: 5y ago

Surely this won’t be what you want to hear, but I will be honest with you instead of providing reassurance. A year is not that long of a time to be with someone. Typically, you have to be with someone for several years to really know who they are as a person. 18 is relatively young, but being young is not a reason in and of itself for a relationship not to work out. Relationships of people who are older than you of course do not always work out either. Age is not the determining factor by itself. Things change, feelings change, people grow, people change. The fact that many things in life are finite isn’t something you should worry about or fear, it just gives you all the more reason to enjoy and value what you have now. Don’t take people for granted because they may not always be there. Maybe you will be together for a long time, maybe you won’t. Try to accept that uncertainty even though it is hard.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 5y ago

Thank you for that, I know that there is a possibility of us splitting like anyone else, but sometimes I obsess that age and timing is the eventually going to break us. He is my best friend too, I dont want to ever lose that.

Cjs2496

Date posted: 5y ago

Basically I just would like to think we have a chance in spite of all this

allysjk

Date posted: 25w ago

i don’t know what to do anymore.

i don’t know what to do anymore. i love my boyfriend but i also feel so guilty because i critcism him in my mind and im really controlling and i know that and im pretty sure if i really loved him i wouldn’t be thinking the things i do about him sometimes i wish he was smarter or did certain things and i hate it is it bad that i think that? part of me thinks i should just give up and find someone perfect and wait for the real one but i also love him and he’s my best friend and i don’t want to lose him but at the same time i want to break up with him because sometimes certain things don’t feel right and just the fact that i have cirticisms about him makes me feel terrible and he’s so so perfect and sweet and i think he deserves someone better and i really don’t know what to do please help i wanted it to be him i did and it just feels like something’s going to happen to us like i’m going to break up with him but at the same time i don’t want to but i don’t want to feel like this forever i wish i didn’t judge him because he’s perfect and i planned my future with him but i also can’t stand having all these thoughts and it’s not right to him either and i love him but i don’t even know what to do anymore i want to be with him forever but i want this to go away and i wish he was different but i also know i can’t make anyone change and it’s bad that i don’t love him just the way he is? shouldn’t he deserve someone who loves him just the way he is i just feel so awful and sick this is going to break my heart it feels like i should break up but at the same time i start crying as soon as i think about losing him please help im paralyzed and sick and losing my mind

Relationship OCD

Sunflowers44

Date posted: 23w ago

Hello

I keep having intrusive thoughts that I am in love with my ex. I’m so afraid if I don’t sort through the thoughts then I’ll get in touch with him? I don’t want to hurt my bf so I feel so sick and just overwhelmed.

Mariabae

Date posted: 9w ago

i feel so bad about this i cant stop

Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety

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