- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Trying to escape the anxious uncertainty is what makes the OCD cycle going. Also, at the end of the day it isn't the fact that you're going to be together forever that makes your relationship amazing, it is that you are together NOW! Live mindfully in the present, and if you do, IF there's a time you actually want to break up, you both will accept it, because living mindfully won't take you somewhere you regret. I hope this last thing doesn't trigger you ✨
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel for you. I agree with the others: As difficult as it is, you must accept uncertainty & appreciate what you have right now. The future doesn't exist yet, and it is not even guaranteed. Worrying about the future will only ruin the present. It sounds like you are really happy in your relationship. That is amazing! Enjoy your relationship and allow it to blossom even more! There are no "shoulds" or rules when it comes to relationships, especially once the couple is transitioning from high school to college. OCD tries to make us believe we should do things, even though we genuinely don't want to. And OCD is unfortunately very convincing. But we don't have to listen to it! I'm also struggling with not worrying about the future & accepting uncertainty, especially in terms of my relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to about ROCD, I'm here for you.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks so much:) That helped a lot. I always tell myself that nothing HAS to change and at least we arent doing long distance so maybe the change will be fun for us. I mean positive outcomes are possible too. Hes really a great guy. And thank you you too, Im always willing to listen !
- Date posted
- 6y
I have been with this person for a little over a year, but it has gotten to the point where I obsess about the possibility of it ending.
- Date posted
- 6y
It doesnt, I just dont want it to HAVE to end just because of where we are at now.
- Date posted
- 6y
if that makes sense
- Date posted
- 6y
Surely this won’t be what you want to hear, but I will be honest with you instead of providing reassurance. A year is not that long of a time to be with someone. Typically, you have to be with someone for several years to really know who they are as a person. 18 is relatively young, but being young is not a reason in and of itself for a relationship not to work out. Relationships of people who are older than you of course do not always work out either. Age is not the determining factor by itself. Things change, feelings change, people grow, people change. The fact that many things in life are finite isn’t something you should worry about or fear, it just gives you all the more reason to enjoy and value what you have now. Don’t take people for granted because they may not always be there. Maybe you will be together for a long time, maybe you won’t. Try to accept that uncertainty even though it is hard.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for that, I know that there is a possibility of us splitting like anyone else, but sometimes I obsess that age and timing is the eventually going to break us. He is my best friend too, I dont want to ever lose that.
- Date posted
- 6y
Basically I just would like to think we have a chance in spite of all this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.
- Date posted
- 17w
Hello, this is my second post, not too long ago i made my first, talking about a sudden come-back of my intrusive thoughts. This post will talk about another of my issues, mainly regarding ocd (obviously) and relationships. As i had said before, i had been feeling terrible and felt like i didnt deserve love, especially the love of the guy that i love. I would like to add that in prior moments we have promised eachother and he has reassured me he will never leave me, but today he was pretty much gone all day (long distance) and for the most part ive just been overthinking, all night, actually.. thinking that at any moment he will just randomly block me on everything and never talk to me again. Its now 4:03 AM, and i just feel so scared. Im scared of losing him, this is predominantly because in a past relationship things ended suddenly, my ex switched up after we had promises and everything and i am absolutely horrified of things ending the same way for me and him. I’ve been anxious, trying to take my mind off of it, but if i do, my mind tells me that if i look away, when i look back, i’ll miss it and he’ll have already blocked me. and tries to tie in earlier conversations i had throughout the day and somehow ties them back to now. (Like my bestfriend telling me she had some dream where i apologized to my friends for ‘leaving’) For the past few hours ive just been out of it. Im scared of being obsessive, Im scared of losing him, and whenever i check to see, my heart skips a beat because i thinks he’s gone. The thing is, I know this isnt the case, and I know there must be an explanation, but for some reason im still worried. and I know these thoughts arent a reflection of reality, but ive also had the idea that my thoughts can also affect what actually happens. I would also like to add that he lives in the US and is mexican, and with the increasing violent situation, my mind even starts to wander off and ask itself what if something happened to him? It makes it worse. because i can’t control it. and that makes me afraid. Im also worried about being a horrible partner, about everything failing and its all just making me feel worse. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling sort of out of it, and throughout the day i felt as if i were emotionless, which made me wonder what if i had lost emotions for him? this also happens to me sometimes. I, for some reason begin thinking like “you lost your love for him nothings gonna happen ever.” and my mind starts making up reasons why, or simply gives me this feeling of emptiness for that love, as if i have been detached from it. and then i overthink again “what if i actually dont love him but im just obsessed and thats all it is an obsession and none of it is real?” that last part, im feeling it right now. along with everything else. Im exhausted, Im tired, and i just want to be happy with him. Thank you to all those who choose to read this. thank you. ❤️ Edit: I would also like to add that ive been also dealing with the occasional regular intrusive thoughts. which dont form fully in my brain but i can still sort of, “feel” the intrusive thoughts uncomfortable themes.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(
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