- Username
- Cjs2496
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Trying to escape the anxious uncertainty is what makes the OCD cycle going. Also, at the end of the day it isn't the fact that you're going to be together forever that makes your relationship amazing, it is that you are together NOW! Live mindfully in the present, and if you do, IF there's a time you actually want to break up, you both will accept it, because living mindfully won't take you somewhere you regret. I hope this last thing doesn't trigger you ✨
I feel for you. I agree with the others: As difficult as it is, you must accept uncertainty & appreciate what you have right now. The future doesn't exist yet, and it is not even guaranteed. Worrying about the future will only ruin the present. It sounds like you are really happy in your relationship. That is amazing! Enjoy your relationship and allow it to blossom even more! There are no "shoulds" or rules when it comes to relationships, especially once the couple is transitioning from high school to college. OCD tries to make us believe we should do things, even though we genuinely don't want to. And OCD is unfortunately very convincing. But we don't have to listen to it! I'm also struggling with not worrying about the future & accepting uncertainty, especially in terms of my relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to about ROCD, I'm here for you.
Thanks so much:) That helped a lot. I always tell myself that nothing HAS to change and at least we arent doing long distance so maybe the change will be fun for us. I mean positive outcomes are possible too. Hes really a great guy. And thank you you too, Im always willing to listen !
I have been with this person for a little over a year, but it has gotten to the point where I obsess about the possibility of it ending.
It doesnt, I just dont want it to HAVE to end just because of where we are at now.
if that makes sense
Surely this won’t be what you want to hear, but I will be honest with you instead of providing reassurance. A year is not that long of a time to be with someone. Typically, you have to be with someone for several years to really know who they are as a person. 18 is relatively young, but being young is not a reason in and of itself for a relationship not to work out. Relationships of people who are older than you of course do not always work out either. Age is not the determining factor by itself. Things change, feelings change, people grow, people change. The fact that many things in life are finite isn’t something you should worry about or fear, it just gives you all the more reason to enjoy and value what you have now. Don’t take people for granted because they may not always be there. Maybe you will be together for a long time, maybe you won’t. Try to accept that uncertainty even though it is hard.
Thank you for that, I know that there is a possibility of us splitting like anyone else, but sometimes I obsess that age and timing is the eventually going to break us. He is my best friend too, I dont want to ever lose that.
Basically I just would like to think we have a chance in spite of all this
Hi there everyone, I’m really struggling with obsessive thoughts over my relationship with my girlfriend. Everything was going so well for the first couple months and one day I started doubting - ever since then I’ve been trying to combat thoughts that our relationship is doomed to fail. I used to love my girlfriend, now I keep getting intrusive anxious thoughts about breaking up with her and scrutinising her appearance. I spent a few years struggling before with HOCD but I’m free of that now, now I feel I’m heading into a spiral of obsession over whether on not this relationship is right. I don’t want my girlfriend to suffer and loose faith in me whilst I act all weird around her. How do I stay present to her and cope through it? Thanks
Really struggling to determine whether my doubts are vaild or not. I have a very blurry picture of what I envision for my future, ever since I was 18 Ive had this desire to run away and start a new life (22 now) I dont know whether its escapism or just my calling, but I dream of a nomadic life with no attachments to anything. I believe its strongly associated with OCD and the fears I have around commitment. But my partner has goals for his future, he can envision his life, and its becoming an issue that I cant envision mine. We would like to be able to line up our lives to see if we want the same things. Of course I want a life with him, but I am so controlled by fear I cant commit to anything. I cant commit to the idea of settling down, having kids, having a career. They all scare me. We’ve been together for 2 years and I still have been avoiding my thoughts out of fear that the truth is: Im not meant to be with anyone and I need to live life on my own with no ties to anything. My therapist said some really triggering stuff yesterday and now I cant stop thinking about the possibility that we may just be on different life paths, no matter how much we love eachother. Feeling defeated😣
How do you manage the thoughts of not seeing a future with your boyfriend? It get’s so frustrating, I’m sad and scared. I can’t even get intimate because I feel like everything is lost, or i get anxious, and start overthinking. I push my partner away, he makes me anxious too and i don’t even know why because he’s been great!!!! I made bad decisions in our relationship and since I confessed to him, I was completely convinced that we were going to break up, and that I would feel better if he made the decision to break up. I start imagining my future without him, and i don’t like it. I feel disconnected, he really doesn’t like it when i call it that way, but it’s like idk myself and don’t recognize him either sometimes. Or if he makes plans for the future is almost as if i dont want them.
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