- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Trying to escape the anxious uncertainty is what makes the OCD cycle going. Also, at the end of the day it isn't the fact that you're going to be together forever that makes your relationship amazing, it is that you are together NOW! Live mindfully in the present, and if you do, IF there's a time you actually want to break up, you both will accept it, because living mindfully won't take you somewhere you regret. I hope this last thing doesn't trigger you ✨
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel for you. I agree with the others: As difficult as it is, you must accept uncertainty & appreciate what you have right now. The future doesn't exist yet, and it is not even guaranteed. Worrying about the future will only ruin the present. It sounds like you are really happy in your relationship. That is amazing! Enjoy your relationship and allow it to blossom even more! There are no "shoulds" or rules when it comes to relationships, especially once the couple is transitioning from high school to college. OCD tries to make us believe we should do things, even though we genuinely don't want to. And OCD is unfortunately very convincing. But we don't have to listen to it! I'm also struggling with not worrying about the future & accepting uncertainty, especially in terms of my relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to about ROCD, I'm here for you.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks so much:) That helped a lot. I always tell myself that nothing HAS to change and at least we arent doing long distance so maybe the change will be fun for us. I mean positive outcomes are possible too. Hes really a great guy. And thank you you too, Im always willing to listen !
- Date posted
- 6y
I have been with this person for a little over a year, but it has gotten to the point where I obsess about the possibility of it ending.
- Date posted
- 6y
It doesnt, I just dont want it to HAVE to end just because of where we are at now.
- Date posted
- 6y
if that makes sense
- Date posted
- 6y
Surely this won’t be what you want to hear, but I will be honest with you instead of providing reassurance. A year is not that long of a time to be with someone. Typically, you have to be with someone for several years to really know who they are as a person. 18 is relatively young, but being young is not a reason in and of itself for a relationship not to work out. Relationships of people who are older than you of course do not always work out either. Age is not the determining factor by itself. Things change, feelings change, people grow, people change. The fact that many things in life are finite isn’t something you should worry about or fear, it just gives you all the more reason to enjoy and value what you have now. Don’t take people for granted because they may not always be there. Maybe you will be together for a long time, maybe you won’t. Try to accept that uncertainty even though it is hard.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for that, I know that there is a possibility of us splitting like anyone else, but sometimes I obsess that age and timing is the eventually going to break us. He is my best friend too, I dont want to ever lose that.
- Date posted
- 6y
Basically I just would like to think we have a chance in spite of all this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
- Date posted
- 22w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 21w
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
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