Trigger warning Having a really really really bad episode I found a piece of bloody toilet paper on my bedroom floor. I do have my period right now but I can’t shake the thought that it could be from someone else. I mean, if I could track it from my bathroom to my bedroom who’s to say someone in my household couldn’t have tracked it in from an outside space. I’m just freaking out and I don’t know what to do.

That would kill me… just the thought of it I’d awful. I don’t know how to feel okay with it.. I’m gonna get rid of it and clean that spot on the floor but I’m scared I stepped on it and tracked the germs around the floor already. Should I also throw my slippers out?

@Anonymous I wouldn't know better than you. I think you will be okay. I think about statistics a lot. What are the odds the blood is yours? Pretty high given the circumstances. In the unlikely case that it isn't yours, what are the odds that the persons whose blood it is has a blood borne illnesses? Unlikely In the Unlikely event they did have an illness, what are the chances you'd get it? Even less. This is how I comfort myself

@Ocd life I disagree

@Ocd life That's fine that you believe that.

@Ocd life If something so simple and easy gives me one time comfort I'm fine with it. I know what my compulsions are and I know what compulsions feel like. Please don't try to tell me you know me better. Maybe for you it would be a compulsion.

@Ocd life It is. But sometimes the fear is way too scary to go on without at least one compulsion. Maybe with time over the course of recovery it’ll be possible to go without that reassurance/ruminating. This particular instance for me was so hard I did a physical compulsion, got reassurance from two loved ones, and still don’t feel completely okay about it. For me, doing this mental analysis compulsion and only that compulsion would be such a win. I’m definitely far from that point though :(

@Anonymous Plus when your thinking is so distorted even though it’s technically reassurance I feel like it’s kind of necessary to get a reality check. Especially with contamination ocd. Any average joe can logically realize something like say magical thinking isn’t possible (I struggled with that type of ocd before as a child and even at the time knew it wasn’t logical). But with contamination ocd, with fears of germs and illness, if you’re not a healthcare professional or someone who has studied the science of these things it’s so hard to know what’s real or not. Am I wrong? Is it possible to overcome contamination fears without any reality checks or reassurance at all? I’m genuinely asking lol cause I don’t know.

@Anonymous I agree! Contamination ocd is very different to some of the more thought based ones. I know they say there's no difference but I've experienced both and I definitely think the reality check and even getting confirmation from medical professionals is important sometimes. I mean we live in the real world, not a bubble. There are legitimate threats our there.

Thanks this helped. It’s so hard cause my ocd wants the chances to be completely 0 not just unlikely but I guess that’s just what I have to learn to be okay with

@Anonymous Yea somone once told me you can't live expecting perfect odds.

@compulsion5000 Which is so scary when it comes to things like deadly diseases. It feels so hard to accept. Like am I really supposed to just be ok with the fact that there’s not a 0% chance of something that awful happening? Ugh! Lol

@Anonymous Believe me I feel you. I went through a phase believing my son would get rabbies... the whole "I has to be zero!" Thing hit me hard but the truth is, if the risk of danger has to be zero then we shouldn't ever drive cars or do a lot of things necessary to get the most out of life.