- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Your OCD does NOT define you. It might feel real and etc, but it is NOT real and will never be. Remember that
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I know it’s not. But I can’t look at any couple without thinking I am never going to love anyone. I feel loveless. It’s so bad I am crying right now.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
The closest thing I can do right now is taking that course. Everyone says it has helped them so I am just going to take it one step at a time and do that first. Thanks for the concern :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That's the best thing for you, I'm glad your taking steps =)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you so much, both of you. It helps a lot
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You are being so helpful right now, really. Thank you so much
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey, I feel the same way. I can't look at anything the same anymore. And my OCD kills me, but it's not true. I recommend you to seek treatment immediately. I've seen you on here countless times, and I'm worried about that. Please get help, you need it in the long haul.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I can’t get treatment. There is no treatment where I live. There are no ocd specialists and that kills me! I think I am going to sign up for the mood Smith course but most likely but I can’t this month. I am on summer vacation and it’s been the worst. I am traveling next week so I feel like if I sign up today it’ll be a waste of 27 dollars. I am trying to hang in there until I can get some help next month
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m so sorry idont241. Have you thought about teletherapy? If you have a laptop with a camera and wifi you can have therapy sessions in the comfort of your own home! I know therapy can get expensive, but there are facilities that do a sliding scale based on your income!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Okay, that’s great! Hoping for easier days for you. Let me know how the course goes for you!!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
(corny statement alert) I’d like to think we’re all in this together, and it will help some of us to, at the very least, not feel like we are the only people on the planet that struggle with this invisible disorder!! I hope you’re travels are fun and even though the thoughts and feelings will come, try your hardest to use those times as practice in letting them be there. It’s like trying to hold a ball of burning coal. The coal is going to be hot (the thought will be scary) but all you have to do it put it down and let it roll away by itself (you don’t have to inspect it and pull it apart and look for where it came from- you’ll get burnt!) Good luck!!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Of course! We all have our really really low moments. (Me yesterday). But I’ve been practicing resistance as hard as I could and let me tell you- it works.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
maybe i dont want to accept the factvthat i lost feelings, maybe i never actually loved my boyfriend and i hust wanted a relationship , i dont want reasurance, but in very scared i dont love him, because it feels real. im scared
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- LGBTQ+ with OCD
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- Date posted
- 9w ago
It sucks because wanting to have a lover is a natural human desire and I'm afraid that my OCD about being alone forever will make it true. I'm a weird person, I'm autistic and I have odd kinks, so the idea that no one will ever love me just keeps coming back I'm trying to tell myself that I deserve a relationship and my kinks make my uniquely fun and loveable to the right people so I'm just going to keep repeating that and hope it comes true. I also made myself a Valentine... So there's that. I'm doing my best Hope you have a great day
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