I don’t feel like I can go on living this torture anymore. I feel like I don’t deserve anything in life and I feel so guilty for deceiving my friends and family as they all think I’m a good person but they have no idea of the disgusting stuff going on in my brain. The only reason I hold on is to look after my mum but it gets harder every day. I feel so alone I know I wouldn’t have anyone in my life if they could see what’s in my head. I’ve had to accept that I have to live a life alone as it would be unfair to get into a relationship with someone as I feel like Id be deceiving them. I don’t think I can do this anymore why do I have to live with this parasite in my brain it makes me feel sick

Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I want you to know I care about you and understand, I to am going through what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. I mean this from my heart, You are a good person. You are worthy. And there is forever and always hope. I hope this brings you comfort and healing. No matter how horrid and/or sick your thoughts may be, know that these are normal, we all have them, and you are not alone, and it doesn’t make you a bad person. It is what is in your heart that makes you who you are which I can say is good as a bad person wouldn’t be horrified by bad thoughts in their head, a good person would be horrified by bad thoughts, you are a good person. Remember your thoughts do not define you. We must learn to dance in the rain, we must learn to accept our thoughts for who they are, NOT meaning we are our thoughts or even that we mean them, but acknowledge they are there and let them be… and listen to our hearts. Our hearts are who we truly are. Believe in the good, in light in love. You are worthy, you are loved and surrounded in light forever and always. We will get through this together. May the light of love dance within your heart and nourish your soul. I and we are here for you forever and always so please reach out if you need anything, truly. You are a good person. A gift to this word. There is forever and always hope. Don’t be too hard on yourself and let your light shine. May the light in you shine the light in me and the light in me shine the light in you ( African Proverb). You are loved forever and always. Sending you and your Mom a big hug. And eternal love. ❤️