Triggered by therapist Hi, Haven’t been in this thread in a minute. Anyways, I thought I had recovered from this .. but here we go. I’m F22 and virgin with no experience e.g kissing/dating. Anyways, I was trying to find a new therapist and while explaining my triggers and grievances, she says - how do you know you really like guys ? This was really triggering and I felt in the conversation she was trying to get at that because of my past I’m suppressing my true self. Just to give context, I was bullied by guys when I was younger. Anyway, what really got me is her saying that I should be open to both and that in her professional opinion I don’t know my sexuality because I haven’t experimented. I said fair point as dealing with this I’ve had to accept uncertainty. Leaving the call, I even asked her ‘am I lying to myself’, I felt paralysed. I felt like she was saying that I really don’t know if I’m straight which has brought about this outdoor spike. In terms of dating I came far last year - I even went on a date and this other guy .. I really liked him - still do .. But I just feel like I’ve taken a step back because I haven’t even thought about this in so long ! She even suggested that having some interest in lesbian porn when I was 15 means something but I suppose she doesn’t know me. As I said to her, sexuality is a spectrum no one is 100% anything .. I’m not the only woman that watched/watches lesbian porn. I don’t want to be in a relationship with a woman, I don’t desire to kiss/caress another woman - I don’t envy lesbian relationships ! When I go out - I don’t want to be hit on by women, I want men to find me attractive. TMI- but on two separate occasions - men have got me .. excited/wet I feel frustrated as she also mentioned how the black community - lesbianism is a taboo - I get that but I wanted to scream that’s not me .. I even told her I was propositioned by a friend last year and that wasn’t for me. I feel scared to go through with this therapist as I feel she’s going to try and tell me that I’m in denial. People don’t understand, I’m uncomfortable with this idea of being a lesbian/bisexual as it don’t sit right with me. Like I’m not homophobic - I can watch things involving lesbians and not be triggered because I accepted that woman can be attractive but that don’t mean I want them. Instinctively, I think we all know our sexuality .. if sexuality was determined strictly by experimentation - then everyone must have the capacity to be bi/gay - as they haven’t tried it ! Sounds stupid right ?! Has anyone had this experience with a therapist? Am I taking her questions to personal ?

I told my therapist I had intrusive about my bff and keeps asking me if I’m attracted to her and I’m say I am not he’s keep saying maybe u are .

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.