- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm in this same.boat. I want to confront old feelings and thoughts, but I don't want to either. In fear of what I might say that isn't really how I feel.
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- 3y
I hope I can get over old stuff and relationship of old past.
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- 3y
Hope, that you can overcome this!
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- 3y
Hang in there, you can get through this Take it one step at a time :)
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- 3y
Thank you! I'm still fighting for fighting!
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- 3y
I gotta get over it. My relationship is really good, but I seem to ruminate and finding the negative loop holes that keep me down.
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- 3y
Yeah, when everything is all right I also starting to feel like something goes wrong again. But we can chose, still we can chose!
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- 3y
@Andate Yes.. I have glimmer of hope... then I start that oh no, what if it come back again ... thats what I struggle with constantly
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- 3y
@jemcu812 I know this. Last week I feel happy and loving and though "why I was afraid of something like these if I clearly see, I love him" and that's when, slowly, more thoughts started to appear and slowly, slowly it hit once again... But moments like those giving me all hope, that my true feelings are something worth fighting for.
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- 3y
THIS is exactly how it is for me! Then I start to obsess, then wow it spirals out of control I'm fighting too!
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- 3y
Are you seeing a therapist of any sort?
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- 3y
Yes, but she is not OCD specialized. I have some other traumas and hardship, so she is great help with that. Want to go to psychiatrist, but still afraid of it. And yes, we are fighting! We can do this!
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- 3y
Ah, cool. Glad you're getting help somewhere along the way. I've not made the leap yet. Family doc wants me to see a psychiatrist too. .. i just cant seem to get there. Too much anxiety.
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- 3y
I'm always worried that I'm not anxious enough to have ocd and afraid of seeing psychiatrist. But I think that obsessing about something with such emotional pain is also anxiety. If I was calm I won't be suffering and obsessing for ten months... I hope, you will also be able to get help, because it's something hard struggling alone. My therapist, even is she is not OCD specialized, still helping me with everyday living and fighting.
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- 3y
@Andate I feel like starting spiraling over nr not being anxious. Or anxious enough. It's neverending story. My therapist still suspects me about ocd, even I told her that.
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- 3y
Yes! I hear you. The last psychologist I saw, blamed my husband for my panic and anxiety. I finally left my issue now is, everytime i panic or get anxious, that's all I can think of. It's been awful, and this is partly why I'm anxious to see anyone, cause I'm afraid and I really want to move past it. But it rears up and I just get so sad that i even went to see her.
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- 3y
So sorry that you were treated like that. It's so hard hard to find a good therapist, who knows ocd and can really understand you, instead of triggering you more. Can't you afford NOCD specialists? Sadly in my country they're not available...
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- 3y
I'm going to check with NOCD therapist. ... We got this.!!! Onward Upward.
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- 3y
We got this! Hope, even today I don't see much hope. I'm not even anxious, only sad. I don't want it to be my truth.
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- 3y
@Andate I know what you're saying, hopefully, everything will flatten out for both of us, so we can enjoy life and things again.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going
- Date posted
- 16w
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m in such a dark place right now. No matter what I do with my boyfriend — kissing, hugging, cuddling, talking — I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. And every time, my brain says: “That’s it. It’s the truth. You don’t love him anymore.” I keep thinking I’m forcing myself to act like I still like him just because I can’t accept the truth — that maybe I fell out of love and don’t want to admit it. When he calls me beautiful, when he’s kind to me, when he holds me… I feel numb. And that numbness makes me feel like a stranger in my own life. Like I’m faking everything. Like I’m lying to him and to myself. It feels too real. I used to have moments — even during intrusive thoughts — where I would relax in his arms and feel safe and reminded that this is ROCD. But now… even those moments feel gone. Like the thoughts aren’t lies anymore — they feel like the truth. And I don’t know what to do with that. My therapist made things worse. She told me things that made me believe I’ve mentally “decided” I have to be with him, and that I’m wrong for thinking it’s bad to walk away. Now I feel like I’ve built my entire relationship on an idea that I should stay, not that I want to. I feel like I’ve changed. I remember moments of deep love, warmth, and closeness… but now I can’t feel them anymore. And all I hear in my head is “you’re different now. It’s over.” I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’m not even crying anymore — I’m just… empty. What if this is the truth I’ve been avoiding all along? What if I just can’t accept that I stopped loving him? What if this relationship is no longer right, and I’m just pretending? This is the worst it’s ever been. I’ve never felt this far gone before.
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