I feel like there is no hope, like I don't know anymore what I feel of what I want. Like I forced that from beginning for wrong reasons and know only seeking excuse to not confront reality. I only want to cry. I see any light.

I'm in this same.boat. I want to confront old feelings and thoughts, but I don't want to either. In fear of what I might say that isn't really how I feel.

I hope I can get over old stuff and relationship of old past.

Hope, that you can overcome this!

Hang in there, you can get through this Take it one step at a time :)

Thank you! I'm still fighting for fighting!

I gotta get over it. My relationship is really good, but I seem to ruminate and finding the negative loop holes that keep me down.

Yeah, when everything is all right I also starting to feel like something goes wrong again. But we can chose, still we can chose!

@Andate Yes.. I have glimmer of hope... then I start that oh no, what if it come back again ... thats what I struggle with constantly

@jemcu812 I know this. Last week I feel happy and loving and though "why I was afraid of something like these if I clearly see, I love him" and that's when, slowly, more thoughts started to appear and slowly, slowly it hit once again... But moments like those giving me all hope, that my true feelings are something worth fighting for.

THIS is exactly how it is for me! Then I start to obsess, then wow it spirals out of control I'm fighting too!

Are you seeing a therapist of any sort?

Yes, but she is not OCD specialized. I have some other traumas and hardship, so she is great help with that. Want to go to psychiatrist, but still afraid of it. And yes, we are fighting! We can do this!

Ah, cool. Glad you're getting help somewhere along the way. I've not made the leap yet. Family doc wants me to see a psychiatrist too. .. i just cant seem to get there. Too much anxiety.

I'm always worried that I'm not anxious enough to have ocd and afraid of seeing psychiatrist. But I think that obsessing about something with such emotional pain is also anxiety. If I was calm I won't be suffering and obsessing for ten months... I hope, you will also be able to get help, because it's something hard struggling alone. My therapist, even is she is not OCD specialized, still helping me with everyday living and fighting.

@Andate I feel like starting spiraling over nr not being anxious. Or anxious enough. It's neverending story. My therapist still suspects me about ocd, even I told her that.

Yes! I hear you. The last psychologist I saw, blamed my husband for my panic and anxiety. I finally left my issue now is, everytime i panic or get anxious, that's all I can think of. It's been awful, and this is partly why I'm anxious to see anyone, cause I'm afraid and I really want to move past it. But it rears up and I just get so sad that i even went to see her.

So sorry that you were treated like that. It's so hard hard to find a good therapist, who knows ocd and can really understand you, instead of triggering you more. Can't you afford NOCD specialists? Sadly in my country they're not available...

I'm going to check with NOCD therapist. ... We got this.!!! Onward Upward.

We got this! Hope, even today I don't see much hope. I'm not even anxious, only sad. I don't want it to be my truth.