Whenever I walk around in public, I feel like a total weirdo. My harm intrusive thoughts continue to scare me and they feel almost real and it’s scary. They fill me up with anxiety that lasts throughout the entire day, and they do not disappear. I’m 16 and I’m afraid of telling my mom because some of my intrusive thoughts are about her and she would probably think of me differently. My harm OCD thoughts at first were not that persistent, but they have worsened now to the point where I have them everywhere I go. I’m so tired of them.

That’s normal with OCD thoughts. They don’t go away when you push or rationalize them away. You don’t come to see them as just thoughts by telling yourself they’re just thoughts. Are you in therapy? If so, are you seeing therapist specialized in ERP?

@CaptainKierkegaard No, I am not. I have never seen a therapist, but I have done a lot of research on OCD, and I believe that I have it.

@Peter ! I am not a professional and can’t diagnose, much less over the internet, but it sounds pretty consistent with harm themes in OCD and when I had intense harm themes, I definitely felt the way you describe. The most successful theraputic approaches to OCD (this comes mainly from having done a lot of research on the subject; I’m still early on in my recovery, but have had some progress) force you to sit with or accept the possibility that the thought might be true, rather than pushing it away. Essentially, when you have the thought, what you want to do about it is nothing. You let your anxiety do its thing, but you keep your hands out of it by not ruminating and not giving in to compulsions. By decoupling the thoughts from the action, your fight or flight response learns that it doesn’t need to act for you and others to be safe from the percieved threat. I hope this makes sense. It’s best that you learn this early, too, because I went 25 years slogging through this stuff on my own before I realized I might have OCD and sought a diagnosis/therapy. Minimally, you want to do ERP therapy. If you do therapy through NOCD, you will get this, but it may require talking to your parents which I know is difficult (I am paying for my therapy by myself and my parents don’t even know yet). Alongside this, you can do some ACT on your own. The book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life” is a recommended ACT self-help book. I know it’s tough, but it’s actually very good that you’ve singled out OCD so early in life. I envy that. You have so much life ahead of you that some of us have missed out on because we never knew what kind of help to get.

@CaptainKierkegaard Thank you, I appreciate your response. I hope to apply these strategies to overcome this atrocious disorder. It’s odd how I can go from having these thoughts constantly for a brief person of time-to where I feel as if I never had these OCD thoughts & feelings, but then later on they come back and I start ruminating & somewhat panicking. Have a good day. Thanks again for responding.