Whenever I walk around in public, I feel like a total weirdo. My harm intrusive thoughts continue to scare me and they feel almost real and it’s scary. They fill me up with anxiety that lasts throughout the entire day, and they do not disappear. I’m 16 and I’m afraid of telling my mom because some of my intrusive thoughts are about her and she would probably think of me differently. My harm OCD thoughts at first were not that persistent, but they have worsened now to the point where I have them everywhere I go. I’m so tired of them.

i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.

I’m not too sure where to begin so some stuff may be a bit scattered. I’d like to start with the fact that I’m not sure if I just have anxiety or if it is actually OCD. I’ve been dealing with these intrusive thoughts for as long as I can remember. TRIGGER WARNING NEXT PARAGRAPH Stuff like “what if my teacher just raped me in the middle of class” or “what if I pulled all my veins at.” Those are some of the more graphic and violent things but I do get lesser things like “what if I imagined that whole conversation” when I know for a fact I did experience that exact memory/conversation. I don’t like these thoughts and I don’t ever want to think them. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I’m only 16 and I want to be sure about this stuff before I ask my parents to get me diagnosed.

harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.