I had a dream that I cheated on my boyfriend with some guy from one of my classes and then when I told my boyfriend he whispered to me that he was actually secretly attracted to this girl I’m insecure about and then he started crying and I started crying in the dream because I was scared of losing him. When I woke up I was actually happy I had the dream because I’ve been worrying that I don’t care about him lately but now I’m stressing out and feel like I enjoy the attention from the guy in the dream more. I think my soocd is starting to go further into rocd and that scared me because even when my soocd is terrible I know I love my partner but now with rocd I don’t know and I feel scared because I really want to love my boyfriend and be attracted to him. It feels like I don’t care about him lately but it’s not true, I’m just feeling guilt and shame right now because last week I realized I’ve been dragging him into my compulsions. I’ve been distant because the thoughts feel so real and I don’t want to hurt him. I usually want to run closer not run away and I’m scared this means it’s over. Getting really bad urges to run away when all I want to do is be happy with him again and intimate. I don’t know what to do from one day to the next it’s like my feelings just flipped…