I love my boyfriend. I feel like I have a very strong connection with him which has developed over time and I want to marry him and have children with him . That being said, in the beginning it wasn’t easy , I wouldn’t say I was infatuated with him , I knew I loved him early on but it made me want to run a mile if I’m honest , I have major trust issues and I struggle being vulnerable. I think I found all the reasons it wouldn’t work out between us in my head to push him away but I was fighting with the fact I know I love him.which probably kick started my ocd . Anyways for the last few days Ive had no intrusive thoughts about him and I feel very in love with him. Then earlier I panicked and googled ‘ can you fall in love with someone without having gone through infatuation’ all I can read is people saying that love at first sight is real and people who say it takes a bit of time are just faking it, that love just happens. I now feel really defeated, I’ve had to really work on my ROCD I’ve had some major struggles with negative intrusive thoughts about my attraction towards my boyfriend as he is not my usual type and stuff but deep down I know I love him on such a deeper level. I am scared that I am labelling what is going on as relationship ocd when in actual fact I may be denying my relationship may not be right. I desperately want things to work out between us and for us to marry in the future which is something we both talk about. But I feel sick in my stomach as the initial deep infatuation wasn’t there it’s more of a slow growing deep love but I’m worried one day I’ll meet someone who I feel that ‘love at first sight ‘ everyone is talking about and that I will destroy my beautiful relationship with my boyfriend. I am attracted to my my boyfriend , the sex is very good and he is very good looking but he’s not my usual type , I usually go for someone slightly taller and a bit different style but in a way that makes me love him even more because I’ve learnt to love the person he is rather than picking someone who fits a picture in my head if that makes sense. I’m so scared to lose him or to mess it up I want to cry so badly

For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..

I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?

Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth