It feels like I find so unappealing now and I feel scared about this feeling. I didn’t really pay much attention to a guys body before but I still loved being close to one and the physical contact. I also struggle soo much with wanting male validation and it feels like every crush I have has been kind of based off of that which is true it has. But with my boyfriend once I got to know him I really liked him and even before the attention I thought he was really sweet and kind. I think I’m bi because I get so many (intrusive but I doubt it ) thoughts about how pretty the girls at school and how I’d date them or kiss them or if I was a guy I’d date them. I never had these thoughts before but I do now frequently and my memories have been modified too so I’m sure I felt like this in the past. I’m fine with it, but I’m still scared of losing my bf because it feels like I’ve lost ALL sensations for men. Even feel grossed out by them…