Hi everyone, I have recently found out that what I thought for years was anxiety or phobias is OCD. This came about only when I was unable to function. I am now working with a therapist and using ERP. This is all really new and would love to hear any stories of hope. Especially if anyone out there fixates on anything that could affect their health - because right now delaying my compulsions is basically fighting the feeling of dying 😔 Right now I feel entirely overwhelmed. I feel like my nervous system has been on edge for weeks. I do get small windows where it seems to relax a little but I am exhausted. I am a few days in trying to track not responding to my anxiety. But it isn’t like it always disappears after some time. I spent most of yesterday feeling so anxious. It can persist for hours and hours and sometimes it feels like days. Is this normal? Has anyone had similar experiences? I am trying to bring my overall anxiety down hoping this will help - decreasing caffeine and going to do some mindfulness today. This feels so futile right now 😞 guess I need to hear that’s normal

I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️

I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.

I recently got diagnosed with OCD back in May of this year. What started it was a month prior, I took an SSRI which triggered an extremely intense couple of days due to panic attacks I’ve never had before. I’ve never had panic attacks but pretty intense anxiety. That’s when I started experiencing DPDR and hyper awareness. I’m good some days, but other days it’s so so hard. Especially because I have no one around me that understands. The DPDR and awareness of every feeling, thought, and just overall awareness of my existence gets really overwhelming. I feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s really hard to sit with my thoughts especially when they’re on a constant loop of every little thing I’m thinking and doing and on top of that feeling like I’m in a dream. I desperately just want to go back to how I was 4 months ago, but I know that’s just not possible right now. If anyone has experienced this and is doing much better now or even currently experiencing this please let me know! I need someone to relate to lol