- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You've done all the right things by getting yourself diagnosed and starting ERP. What kind of compulsions do you have ? Try to delay them as much as possible at the beginning and ERP is progressive, try to tackle the things that are less scary to give up first and then work your way up. It's not easy but you're on the right path! Lots of luck š
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks, my compulsions are mostly seeking information and reassurance that I am not at risk of things (usually things that are an almost non existent risk).
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nick!777 I see. Well, it's already great that you have good insight, by recognizing that the risk is almost non existent :) ERP is about "rewiring" your brain, and since you mentioned you've always thought it was anxiety and phobias, I guess you've been in this hypervigilant/reassurance and Info seeking mode for a while, so your brain needs time to readapt. It's scary at first. It's terrifying even. And one questions it and whether or not one will be able to take it, but it DOES get better when you start gradually and find the balance between too much/not enough, and what's great is that you have a therapist, and they'll help with this part, and start with the less scary things. I've done with two therapists, one went too fast, and traumatized me, the other was very slow, starting with imaginary scenarios, I thought it was too slow, but those sessions helped me in the long term and when I think that it helped me hug my loved ones again, and it now seems almost normal again, I'm so so happy. ERP works, you've got this, delay, resist, resist, resist. The anxiety will slowly go away faster and faster, and your brain will have new habits. And keep in mind that it's not linear, sometimes symptoms are more intense, and it gets harder to deal with, don't get discouraged by "small relapses", as long as they get further apart, and you keep evolving. It's worth it š
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous* Some how even though logically it feels like low risks I still feel like I am dying, I guess repetition is the only way.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nick!777 I understand completely, been there, still am for a couple of things. This is the definition of good insight, you KNOW it's excessive and not based in reality, but the brain goes to the 0.0000001% chance it's actually the case. Just resist or at least delay as much as you can
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much these words are like a lifeline right now. I am terrified and telling my brain just to ignore it is very very counter intuitive.
- Date posted
- 3y
Happy to hear it helps a little! I understand completely, you've been thinking this way for a very long time, it's a habit, almost a reflex, and you're actively trying to stop yourself, it's not easy and there will be resistence. But you've got this !!! At the beginning, it's very hard and distressing, this is very normal, but it will get better with time
- Date posted
- 3y
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUA-De6v6tR/?utm_medium=copy_link this post from a licensed OCD therapist helps understand it better, if you wanna check
- Date posted
- 3y
Hopefully it doesn't count as reassurance, I'm seeing it more as motivation. You've got this!!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous* Yes, I feel like reassurance would relate to my perceived fears - where as this is encouragement not to engage with them.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Iāve been through a lot of trauma the past few months and years and had an anxiety breakthrough where I canāt stop having panic and anxiety attacks. I used to be a horror movie addict and one night during an anxiety attack my brain went āKill your sisterā My sister is my whole world. It all went downhill from there. I canāt even be around her when were home alone anymore. Every single day since then my brain is trying to tell me a bunch of different ways to harm her. Its getting to a point where its involving others now. āKill your sister.ā āWhat if you finally go back to your boyfriends house and kill his family?ā āWhat if you kill mom?ā āKill that lady walking down the aisle at work.ā āWhat if you killed yourself?ā āYouāre a bad person for thinking all of this.ā āYou shouldnāt be allowed to sleep, eat or relax. Bad people donāt get to do those things.ā āThese thoughts are in your head 24/7 because you WANT to do these things!ā Its causing me so much anxiety and racing thoughts and I donāt want to become anymore depressed. SSRIs dont work. My doctor wants me to go on antipsychotics but Iām afraid to and I feel like I donāt actually need them and it will cause more damage. My goal is to become the person I was before all of this. Not to change completely. I tried buspirone once and I stopped due to increased health anxiety and often found myself saying āremember when you wanted to kill your sister?ā and then brushing it off. It helped in some sort of way. I was only on it for a week. My whole life has changed since then. I dont go to my boyfriends house anymore, I dont see my friends, I canāt play video games anymore. All I do is ruminate and I cant stop. I cant even hold a conversation anymore. The compulsions are horrible. Iām so scared that theres no coming back from this. Its all adding to the anxiety that I donāt want to become severe depression. I just want to be me again. Iām starting off ERP and if it doesnāt work I dont know what to do. Can someone please tell me they have been through similar and have gotten better. I just need to save my life. Its getting to a point where this is convincing me this is all real and its going to happen and that im gonna become a psychopath. Its been going on for 3 months. I used to be so bubbly and happy!! (I am not schizoaffective)
- Date posted
- 13w
I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 7w
I recently got diagnosed with OCD back in May of this year. What started it was a month prior, I took an SSRI which triggered an extremely intense couple of days due to panic attacks Iāve never had before. Iāve never had panic attacks but pretty intense anxiety. Thatās when I started experiencing DPDR and hyper awareness. Iām good some days, but other days itās so so hard. Especially because I have no one around me that understands. The DPDR and awareness of every feeling, thought, and just overall awareness of my existence gets really overwhelming. I feel like Iām losing my mind. Itās really hard to sit with my thoughts especially when theyāre on a constant loop of every little thing Iām thinking and doing and on top of that feeling like Iām in a dream. I desperately just want to go back to how I was 4 months ago, but I know thatās just not possible right now. If anyone has experienced this and is doing much better now or even currently experiencing this please let me know! I need someone to relate to lol
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