- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
No but sometimes my mind will drop a worry that consumed me for months. And then I get a relief. But I always get a replacement worry. But if you're doing ERP it sounds like it's working!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Oops me again. Was gonna say definitely some people and places can be more triggering than others.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for your answers! I definitely agree, and like all illnesses, some factors tendto trigger/accentuate the intensity of the symptoms. I'm not doing ERP "officially" atm, but I try little exercises at home since I just moved, I need to find a new therapist though. I do recognize the cOCD symptoms I have, and I know I have anxiety as well, but I feel like I still need to adress the trauma part (my OCD started after a specific series of events, linked to this subtype) and now that I changed my environment, I think I should probably combine ERP/CBT with psychotherapy cause I feel ready to talk, and like talking will help with the trauma part
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous* Ah that's a nice plan. I did CBT for a very long time for my GAD. I in hindsight recognized the OCD symptoms 20+years ago but wasn't diagnosed until now. I think it's great you're going to do both!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catperson10 Thank you! That's the thing, I have both (GAD I'm 100% sure I have. One doctor said OCD and GAD, one said GAD/PTSD) and my dad has had OCD traits my whole life that i would recognize as "extreme/over the top" before. Since I don't have any other subtype and my main compulsion is actually avoidance, I'm still struggling to differentiate between the thoughts linked to OCD and those linked to GAD, cause the way we're supposed to deal with them is different. Can't wait to see a doctor I saw a long time ago, when I "only" had anxiety. At that time, my biggest problem was my dog phobia š
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous* Ah that's great you get to see someone. Right now my anxiety response is varied and one day I'll panic going to a public place and then other days I'm standing in line not noticing a person next to me. The second part is super rare. I'm hypervigilant.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catperson10 And do you feel like your hypervigilance is more GAD based? Or you don't try and go there? Sorry if this question is somehow triggering, you don't have to answer obviously. This is currently my biggest struggle.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous* I'm not sure. I have had anxiety since I was really young but I got retriggered with a food allergy that sent me to the ER. But I'd had contamination worries prior to that so it's not the cause it just made it worse. But I'm not sure yet. I'm only on week 2 or 3 of ERP.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catperson10 I see and relate to this (tw food poisoning, 2 short hospital stays, and I worked in the medical field, so I saw confirmations of my fears without taking confirmation bias into consideration). In theory, one can have those worries/traits and function, and one event can trigger a higher level of OCD, that can become debilitating. It usually isn't linked to the subtype, but for health and contamination, I guess it's blurry. I think ERP (which is a super specific CBT) helps for both in practice/day to day life. And "regular" CBT helps to deconstruct the thoughts that are more real life based and a result of anxiety. Lots of luck with your ERP
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous* Ah that's a good observation. I was doing really really well up to Feb 2020 (touching doorhandles and all). I'm hopeful this will help as well.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
iāve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. iāve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. iām also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. itās been making me feel crazy because to me thereās no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but itās like symptoms of ocd too thatās making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? iāve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel ājust rightā, but i also do that with any environment iām in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because thereās something wrong that i canāt find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but itās also more than that it feels like. however, now itās spreading into other areas of my house where iāve always been fine in and possibly to just any area iām in at all. hence why itās making me feel crazy because thereās no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as iāve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. iām doing a little better, but itās still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. iām also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like iām going insane. iāve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when iām this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why iām so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.
- Date posted
- 18w
Some background: Iām a woman in my 30s whoās been struggling to find the right diagnosis for years. Since 2022, Iāve had multiple psych hospital stays, and with each stay came a different diagnosis and different sets of medications: Bipolar II, CPTSD, MDD with psychotic features, āhigh functioning BPD,ā and most recently, Schizoaffective Disorder (depressive type). Before all of that happened, I had been seeing a therapist for CPTSD and AuDHD traits for 2 years, but after they left the practice, I struggled to find someone I trusted again. Most of my breakdowns happened during my last relationship. Looking back, I was in survival mode with them, leaving who *I* am behind. I got to the point where I started doubting my own reality from the abuse. This eventually added up and landed me in my first episode of psychosis. That combined with my attempts is what got me my schizoaffective diagnosis. After finally leaving that relationship 1.5 years ago, Iāve slowly rebuilt my life: new town, new job, new friends. Many of my old symptoms (major ones) havenāt returned, which makes me believe I may have been misdiagnosed due to reliving past childhood trauma and stress responses from the abuse. Through all of this, Iāve felt like nothing ever truly fit. I journal, I reflect, I replay the recordings and Iāve even watched old vlogs āthe puzzle pieces still donāt come together. Itās left me feeling like Iāll never really know whatās going on, and Iāve started to fear that my diagnoses will just keep stacking up without ever leading to effective treatment. Recently, I opened up to a friend about this. She mentioned that her neighbor went through something similar not exactly like me but she thought it would give me a starting pointāmultiple diagnoses that never felt rightāuntil a new doctor finally identified it as OCD. That one diagnosis changed everything for her. It made me realize I really donāt know much about OCD beyond the stereotypes. I didnāt know OCD could involve intrusive thoughts, rumination, or mental compulsions. My friend encouraged me to look into it, especially as I start searching for a new therapist. Facebook and Google lead me here⦠So now Iām wondering: could OCD be a better explanation for what Iāve been experiencing all these years? Questions for the community: 1. What steps did you take to find out if OCD was what you were dealing with? 2. If you had a long history of misdiagnoses, how did you finally find a clinician who got it right? 3. How did you advocate for yourself when people dismissed your concerns? 4. Is there anything you wish you had done earlier in your OCD journey? Thank you so much if you made it this far. Iām really grateful for this space and just want to start finding answers and the right kind of help.
- Date posted
- 17w
I suffer since 10 - 15 yrs from specific fears. It was years that my OCD constantly wanted to be checked if I have HIV or not. I had a lot of sex and I thought this is normal. But I ruminated in my backhead about and was testing like 5 - 10 times a year. After the test I felt everytime so relieved. In Corona I was addicted to porn and even I lost control and was watching pretty hard stuff. I was chatting with a girl and we fantasized about really disturbing things. I never wanna meet her and for me was sure it's just kinda onlinestuff. I was in a relationship 3 years now. And I lost fear of HIV. But then came Morality OCD, Real Event (this chat) and after some times POCD. This combination was knocking me out, I felt like the badest person on earth. I did everything wrong and searched for relief and reassurance. It put me to the point of suicidal. I never ever hurting somebody, but my brain was making me a monster. I had to quit the relationship because I just couldn't give her what she deserved. I was in a clinic for 3 months. And we tested medication with ERP (before I took escitalopram for years). Anafranil was working first, then too many side-effects. I tried even without meds, but was so depressed. Now on sertralin for 5 weeks, but only 2 weeks on therapeutic dose 200mg. And wow, now I really feel so confused in the brain. I feel like how big my OCD became. The specific thoughts are not anymore, BUT it sticks on EVERYTHING atm. It's delusional how it feels in the brain. I really hope so deep my brain makes finally a reset and I need to wait it out. I could live with OCD for a long time but the last 1-2 yrs it took absolutely everything. I remark that POCD doesn't stick anymore like before but my brain is now constructing a very bad future because of past mistakes (that I all discussed with family, friends for relief over and over and over again). So it's like my OCD is now Real Event (The sexchat) again. Anyone was on the same point in life?
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