Feeling very triggered right now. A bad compulsion/habit of mine is to snoop on my partners Instagram and look at the people (ahem….women…) he’s following. I did a deep dive into one woman and found a couple of comments he posted on her photos from just over a year ago. They were a little bit flirty, but nothing too over the top- mostly friendly, I think. However, I’m deeply, deeply triggered by this. I’ve been to her page multiple times now, hunting in case I missed any more comments or seeing how many photos he liked, etc. He doesn’t know her in real life but now I’m worried that maybe they were talking privately? I know comments are usually just comments, but what if it was something more? It also makes me panic about what other comments there could be? He follows over 600 people- I’m not about to go through everyone’s page but I feel like I have to. I have to make sure there is nothing else. I’m not sure if I should bring this up to him or just try to let it go. It was so long ago, but for me, it’s happening in current time as I’m just seeing it. If I bring it up, I’ll also have to admit I was snooping hard Half of me feels like this isn’t really a big deal- it’s just a couple of comments. And the other part of me is deeply troubled and very anxious about it. Im not sure how I truly feel. Thanks for reading

Relationship OCD

smileycat7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Were you in a relationship at the time the comments were posted? I’ve suffered with these theme before and mostly overcome it by basically NOT asking for details about stuff like this. I just minded my business and focused on not behaving jealous at all. Maybe they messaged, maybe not. Maybe it’s something to worry about, maybe not. It’s not your job to play detective and find potential problems. If it’s something bad, you can handle it when it reveals itself to you. And maybe you’ll never find out! There are still questions I have about my relationship which I’ll never get the answer to. Living in uncertainty means freedom from worrying about stuff that doesn’t really matter that much. I’ve been where you are and I know how much it hurts, stay strong ❤️‍🩹

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 3y

Thanks so much. Yes, we were in a relationship at the time. I think I’m just very easily triggered by stuff like this because it’s come up before in our relationship. But you’re right, I don’t need to play detective and open things up like that, especially when they are from so long ago. And again you’re right: maybe they talked and maybe they didn’t. Either way, I doubt anything more ever came of it. Just hard to sit with those thoughts and not ask for reassurance, you know? Thanks again!

smileycat7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I understand how you feel, I once noticed my boyfriend liking photos of a girl in her underwear and I was suuuuper triggered but I got over it. I decided it wasn’t worth all the stress. Social media can cause problems in a lot of relationships nowadays so add OCD to the mix and it’s a nightmare! If you see your boyfriend blatantly flirting or acting inappropriate, you can call him out on it. But it’s not worth starting a conversation every time you think something MIGHT have happened. It will drive you and your partner crazy and make your OCD worse in the long run. If you don’t have good reason to suspect he did something wrong, I think you should leave it alone. A few comments don’t mean anything. Use it as an exposure and put your mental health first. If you ever need a chat let me know 😊

smileycat7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

This was meant to reply to your other comment lol

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 3y

Thanks again, I definitely appreciate that. I think I can let it go, and won’t bring it up. You’re right when you say it’s not worth it. If it had happened more recently, I might say something but over a year ago….I’ll just keep quiet. Social media is definitely a huge huge trigger for me, in many ways. My partner deleted his Facebook (his choice!) and I’m a little embarrassed to admit how relieved I felt. Maybe one day he’ll delete Instagram too 😅 but obviously, that’s not the real solution, and learning not to react to every tiny trigger is the most important lesson. Thanks again, I really do appreciate it

smileycat7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Hey how are you doing? Funnily enough this obsession has resurfaced after nearly a year and I’m so frustrated! I came back to read my comments from when I was in a good headspace

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 3y

Hey! I’m sorry it’s come up again for you. I hope my comment isn’t the cause of it. I’m definitely here if you need to talk! I’m alright, thanks for checking in. Some other stuff happened after that and I honestly forgot about the comments after a few days (I mean, not entirely, but I stopped thinking about it 24/7) to focus on the other stuff. I think your comment was spot on but again, if you need to chat, I’m right here!

smileycat7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Stuckinmyhead No your comment didn’t trigger it, the timing was just a coincidence 😊 ah well that’s great to hear! Sounds like you were busy living and that’s exactly what recovery work is all about. I’m gonna practise leaving it alone too, as hard as it feels

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 3y

@Mollito123 Haha busy living but also busy dealing with other triggers and anxieties and hardships 😅 again, I’m here if you need to talk it out! But if you need it, I hereby give you permission to let it go and leave it alone 😉

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