- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate , everyday is like a rollercoaster for me too š
- Date posted
- 3y
A rollercoaster is definitely a good analogy. I always feel the most love when Iām happy and have forgotten about all the negative thoughts, do you relate?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes but as soon as I remember what Iāve been thru I start doubting again and feeling unhappy
- Date posted
- 3y
Literally same. As soon as I remember the ocd and the doubts, it all comes flooding back, the love disappears and Iām left feeling nothing again
- Date posted
- 3y
Itās so exhausting
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; itās been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything Iām experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if Iād rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 19w
I donāt understand why I donāt feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that heās stupid, that I donāt like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really donāt like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know itās because of my thoughts. I canāt see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like Iām making it worse. The thoughts donāt stop, even when Iām with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when theyāre with their partners, but I donāt. I canāt look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I canāt even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesnāt feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I donāt feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that Iāve āmaturedā and thatās why I donāt feel anything anymoreālike maybe I only liked him because I was young and naĆÆve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if Iām only with him because I donāt want to hurt him? What if Iām just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I donāt understand whatās happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesnāt work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I donāt need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I donāt feel the same way. I feel like Iām hurting him, and I donāt know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesnāt work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I donāt need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I donāt feel the same way. I feel like Iām hurting him, and I donāt know how to get out of this dark place
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately, Iāve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I donāt understand why. When I look at him, it feels like Iām looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I donāt like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesnāt make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel somethingālove, excitement, even reliefābut instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I donāt feel much. I keep thinking, āIf I really loved him, wouldnāt I feel something?ā And the fact that I donāt just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I canāt remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, āThat wasnāt real, you were just excited to have a relationship.ā And because I canāt access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like Iām hurting him. He tells me he doesnāt feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I canāt just snap out of this and be the way I was before. Itās exhausting. I donāt know whatās real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know thatās a compulsion, but itās so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, āBut what if you donāt love him? What if youāre just lying to yourself?ā I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I donāt know how to get there, and itās terrifying.ā
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