- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I totally feel this. It’s scary. Something I’m noticing recently is that a big problem is how much my shame about the anxiety perpetuates it. If I feel anxious and I start thinking I’m crazy, that I’m a bad partner, that I have to stop or soon I’m going to freak out, that I have to hide it or he’s going to be hurt or know I’m crazy—those thoughts all make the anxiety way worse. I still really hope it goes away but I’ve started to realize that I might have to accept its presence in order to not make it any worse than it already is. Have you figured out a way to communicate with him about it yet? I know that’s super hard and I’ve only learned how to talk about some of it but not all of it
- Date posted
- 3y
He’s always very supportive but I’m trying to find a way to talk about it without asking for reassurance and without making myself feel worse about it.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth For me I find that just telling him about it makes me feel less ashamed. Like before I tell him I’m beating myself up and feeling like I need to hide it. Once I tell him and we talk about what happened, I get to see that we didn’t fight or break up because Of it and I stop feeling so bad about myself. I try to not mention it until I have calmed down enough to be able to say “I know you don’t think I’m dumb / hate me / etc, so I know that the thing I felt came from my anxiety” instead of asking him for reassurance. Because I’m not really looking for reassurance about the fear, but more looking to know it’s okay I got anxious and I don’t need to feel ashamed. That’s just what works for me though.
- Date posted
- 3y
@jello86 I really love that thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth Totally :) comment on this thread again or follow me or something like that if you ever want to talk about it more because it sounds like we have similar thibgs
- Date posted
- 3y
@jello86 Hi I’m back. Today I feel like I’m such a different person than him. Like our lives don’t fit together. I feel like who I decide to be means that I can’t be with him because we are too different. I also feel like I don’t want to be the person that I’m becoming but I can’t help it? Idk if this makes sense. But I’m getting really anxious about growing apart? When literally just the other day I was excited about growing with him in my life. Idk this all sucks and I can’t stop thinking about it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel so lost. My boyfriend tries so hard to help me, but nothing seems to work. Every time he reassures me, my mind finds another doubt. He asks me, “So you’ve been questioning if you love me for almost 2 years?” and instead of feeling comforted, my mind jumps to “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him.” I keep telling him every thought that comes to my mind, hoping for relief, but it never lasts. I feel anxious, disconnected, and stuck in this endless cycle. He tells me that if I truly didn’t love him, I wouldn’t care so much about these thoughts. But still, my brain won’t stop questioning everything. I don’t understand why I feel this way. Why does it feel like I’m forcing something? Why do I feel like I can’t just know how I feel? I want to feel okay. I want to be present with him without analyzing every moment. But no matter what I do, my mind keeps telling me “What if you don’t love him?” I feel like I’m stuck between wanting clarity and being terrified of what that clarity might mean. It feels so real, and I hate it. I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 19w
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
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