I totally feel this. It’s scary. Something I’m noticing recently is that a big problem is how much my shame about the anxiety perpetuates it. If I feel anxious and I start thinking I’m crazy, that I’m a bad partner, that I have to stop or soon I’m going to freak out, that I have to hide it or he’s going to be hurt or know I’m crazy—those thoughts all make the anxiety way worse. I still really hope it goes away but I’ve started to realize that I might have to accept its presence in order to not make it any worse than it already is. Have you figured out a way to communicate with him about it yet? I know that’s super hard and I’ve only learned how to talk about some of it but not all of it
He’s always very supportive but I’m trying to find a way to talk about it without asking for reassurance and without making myself feel worse about it.
@Cassandragoth For me I find that just telling him about it makes me feel less ashamed. Like before I tell him I’m beating myself up and feeling like I need to hide it. Once I tell him and we talk about what happened, I get to see that we didn’t fight or break up because Of it and I stop feeling so bad about myself. I try to not mention it until I have calmed down enough to be able to say “I know you don’t think I’m dumb / hate me / etc, so I know that the thing I felt came from my anxiety” instead of asking him for reassurance. Because I’m not really looking for reassurance about the fear, but more looking to know it’s okay I got anxious and I don’t need to feel ashamed. That’s just what works for me though.
@jello86 I really love that thank you
@Cassandragoth Totally :) comment on this thread again or follow me or something like that if you ever want to talk about it more because it sounds like we have similar thibgs
@jello86 Hi I’m back. Today I feel like I’m such a different person than him. Like our lives don’t fit together. I feel like who I decide to be means that I can’t be with him because we are too different. I also feel like I don’t want to be the person that I’m becoming but I can’t help it? Idk if this makes sense. But I’m getting really anxious about growing apart? When literally just the other day I was excited about growing with him in my life. Idk this all sucks and I can’t stop thinking about it.