Should I change my therapist? TLDR; Therapist keeps ignoring my issues and has triggered a serious obsession twice without prep or anything. Advice would be great. I've been seeing her for around 4 months, and not only have we made absolutely zero progress, I feel like she keeps ignoring the problems I bring up regarding my absolute need to be hypervigilant with my thoughts to make sure no "wrong" thought enters my mind, my obsession with my memory that makes me unable to read or study and multiple other issues I've faced for years that are debilitating. Twice now, she has brought up the possibility that I might not have OCD after previously agreeing that I do have it. Every time this has happend I spiral into self-doubt, guilt and shame for having potentially deluded myself and others that I'm sick and a lot of old, painful themes keep coming back because I start to doubt their validity too. Not to mention the actual loss of reality sometimes.. I feel betrayed and angry at her for hurling a massive trigger like that at me twice, while knowing how much this hurts me and what consequences it brings. Had she told me and prepared me that she'd like to work on my fixation on being certain that I have OCD I would have gladly worked with her. But it always came out of nowhere and I don't know anymore who I should believe now. It takes so much work to convince myself that I do have OCD and trust this feeling I have deep in my bones that it is really OCD. I feel like I've lost a lot of trust in her and I'm not sure how to proceed. I had to call an emergency service today, because I had been crying and panicking for hours and felt like I desperately needed help from someone that believed me. I need therapy desperately to get my life back on track, but I'm not sure if I wouldn't be better off on my own. I will attempt to have a serious talk with her next session, because I'm not ready to give up yet. Has anyone had similar experiences with therapists? Does anyone have any advice on how I should proceed?

She's a therapist in training at my local uni clinic and they get strictly supervised, but even her supervisor seemed to agree that I "just have anxiety" when I know, deep in my bones, even though it's difficult for me to believe sometimes, that this is NOT anxiety. I've literally forced myself to tell her every embarrassing detail of my thoughts, I told her all of the mental rituals I think I do and that bother me, and in the end it was just treated as nothing serious. I'm considering going to a specialist, but they are rare in my country and the waiting times will be insanely long. I just feel really sad and angry about being so blatantly dismissed by someone I put my hopes in.

She's a CBT therapist, but we haven't really done any meaningful work, beyond her encouraging me to be more active and take up my hobbies again, which I've told her repeatedly is almost impossible because every one of my interests and hobbies has ended up having an obsession attached to it. It's a big reason why I'm seeking help, because I am avoiding all of my hobbies and are practically incapable of doing them, even though I desperately want to. She has also given weekly plans to fill out while tracking my mood, which went very wrong, since it encouraged my compulsion to constantly check my feelings, mind and mood. All in all, most of the homework she has given me has backfired on me in one way or another, except when I modify her homework to be an exposure. And I tell her what I do and why I think this is the way for me to get better, but she just doesn't seem to really listen or understand.

@Philomena Yeah, this therapist clearly doesn’t understand OCD. I would suggest that you stop seeing her and see an OCD specialist . If the waitlist is long, I’d reccomend doing your own research and start doing response prevention and disregarding your OCD thoughts in the meantime. Saying something like “I hear and understand you, OCD, but I don’t really care what you have to say. You can tell me this all day long, but I refuse to believe it.” This might feel fake at first, but it will eventually make you see your OCD thoughts are what they are, which is irrelevant nonsense. I hope this helps!