Thread

Cassandragoth

121d ago

Relationship OCD

I know I’m not supposed to try and figure these things out but I feel like it’s really hard to connect with the guy I’m with and I feel like I’m using ocd and the anxiety as an excuse. I also know I should stop reading things, but I saw something that said, if you can’t accept their flaws and want to change them, that means you don’t love them, you just love the idea of them. I feel like I would be doing this with anyone. I will have moments where I’m not overthinking and questioning everything and it’s so much easier to connect with him and I feel so accepting and in love with all of his flaws. But I feel like I had to force myself to be in the mindset where I could do that and that feels like I’m forcing myself to love him. And that feels like I’m changing myself? I just wish I could feel love again. Especially when I know I love this person but I’m so scared that I really don’t or I’ll never be able to love anyone.

jello86

120d ago

Trying to silence your anxiety might feel like “forcing” because it takes tons of effort. I think it’s hard to force yourself to feel happy love feelings, and it’s a good sign that you feel best when you’re not overthinking. It’s still uncertain whether or not you “really love him” or not because not every relationship works, but I think it’s definitely damaging to pay attention to all that online advice. If you read a lot of it, it often contradicts itself! There’s no way to know which of that advice is right so I think it tends not to be helpful.